Sunday, November 30, 2003

Roger's Book Sack

As everyone and their dog has already commented upon, President Clinton recently listed his 21 favorite books. I'm not sure I have 21 favorite books. I mean, I've read more than 21 books, and I suppose I could chose the 21 out of those I liked best, or 21 of those I would recommend to others, but I don't know I would call all of those "favorites." A favorite would be something I would read multiple times, and would pick up at any time just to re-read favorite sections.

So instead, I will list the one book that is a favorite that I wish I still had a copy of:

1. The Great American Baseball Card Flipping, Trading and Bubble Gum Book by Brendan Boyd and Fred Harris

Anyone who has read this book will know what I mean. It's obvious President Clinton has never read this book, or The Evolution of Civilizations: An Introduction to Historical Analysis wouldn't have made his list.

No Facts Lives Up To His Name

Bob "The Traitors' Toilet" Novak not only buries the lede, he omits it all together:

WASHINGTON -- Chairman Orrin Hatch angered fellow Republicans last week by opening Senate Judiciary Committee Republican e-mails to investigators probing leaks of Democratic e-mails.

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist ordered full cooperation in the investigation of how Republicans obtained the committee's Democratic e-mails, which detailed the strategy for blocking President Bush's judicial nominations. Hatch responded with his order to open GOP e-mails to investigators. The Republican chairman also put one staffer on administrative leave.

The investigation was triggered by Sen. Richard Durbin of Illinois, the assistant Democratic floor leader who received some of the more important leaked e-mails. Rank-and-file Republican senators grumble that Frist and Hatch have permitted Durbin to obscure the substance of the e-mails, which showed left-wing special interest groups behind the filibusters preventing judicial confirmations.

A GOP staffer placed on administrative leave, but why, Bob? Don't ask No Facts.

(Also don't ask him the name of the staffer, or the names of the Republican senators who are bitching. In fact, don't ask him anything newsworthy.)

For those interested in the facts, click here.

Inexplicably, Mona Charen's list of reasons to be thankful don't include not being sued by Captain James Yee for insinuating he was a spy and traitor.

In The Line of Fire

On Meet the Press, Mike Allen recounted how Air Force One was fully stocked with bulletproof jackets. I'm guessing that's why Trembly-Weepy was wearing that dorky warm-up jacket, to hide the body armor he was wearing.

It's not surprising he wanted to keep it hidden.

Henrietta Township - A couple helped raise $1,500 to buy the military's best bulletproof vest to send their soldier son in Iraq because the government has not been able to get the vests to all troops.

Charles and Marilyn Zvosechz didn't want their 32-year-old son to wait. Army Sgt. David Zvosechz is stationed at the Baghdad Airport....

Nearly one-quarter of the 130,000 American troops in Iraq had not been issued the newest body armor as of last month. Delays in funding, production and shipping mean the last of the needed 30,000 sets of body armor won't be delivered to Iraq until December - more than eight months after the war began.
Shouldn't the priority go to those whose tour of duty isn't under two hours?

(Link via BuzzFlash.)

Meet Your Liberal Media

Howie the Putz has a rundown on whores not named Russert:

The surprise visit produced upbeat, sometimes gushing coverage on the cable networks, which kept rerunning video of Bush with a turkey platter and his pep talk to the troops. "This is a show of power. . . . This has significance in terms of showing the power of the presidency," Fox anchor David Asman said.

Time's Vivian Walt said on CNN that "an electric shock went through the room" and that for Bush, crying and trembling, it was "a taste of victory."

The message, retired Col. Ken Allard said on MSNBC, is that "you underestimate George Bush at your peril. It was a gutsy call, a Hail Mary pass, and he pulled it off."

Crying and trembling? Is Bush supposed to be President or Rush Limbaugh?

Thanks For Asking

For those curious about Roger Ailes' whereabouts on Thanksgiving, I decided to follow the inspirational example of Geo. W. Bush. I headed to the local food bank, where I posed for pictures handing cans of food to the less fortunate. As soon my lackeys in the press got their snaps, I got the hell out of there, leaving the destitute to suffer and die in obscurity. Then I went to Tim Russert's house and received a blow job.

Pumpkinhead Pie

Veteran observers of the Meet the Press host confirm that Pumpkinhead Tim Russert's performance today is the closest he's been to achieving orgasm since the morning of Little Russ's conception. The bloated broadcaster reveled in the details of Bush's deception of the press concerning his trip to Baghdad. A slight moan escaped Russert's lips as Mike Allen recalled the confiscation of reporters' cell phones. Russert's eyes rolled back in his head as he crowed that Bush upstaged Senator Clinton's visit to American troops, and his well-hidden pelvis began thrusting uncontrollably as he compared Bush to Presidents Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt.

Later, Russert shared a cigarette with Doris Kearns Goodwin and David Broder.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Reasons To Be Thankful

Roger Ailes will be counting his blessings at an undisclosed location this year. Posting should resume on Saturday, barring unforeseen trichinosis.

We leave you with this year's shortlist of reasons to be thankful (listed in no particular order):

Only 13 more months of misrule.

The Bill of Rights.

Public libraries.

George Soros (That's, George).

Crossword puzzles.

The American Cancer Society.

(What's left of) the California coastline.

BBC Radio online.



The fine men and women whose sites are listed to the right, who make this world a wiser, fairer and more enjoyable place.

Two Questions

What are the names of these punks?

Can Hannity be prosecuted for recieving stolen property?

And when will a certain Tennessee cracker call for the subpoenaing of Hannity?

Okay, that's three questions.

Any answers to the non-rhetorical questions will be greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Another Puke With His Pants Down (Metaphorically)

Kevin McCullough of WorldNutDaily, last seen slandering Ed Anser as a Stalin apologist, has set his sights now on crap clothier Abercrombie & Fitch. McCullough claims the latest Christmas catalog from the company contains forty-five "specific portrayals of sexual imagery" (sic), including the kinds of depraved acts Neil Bush would indulge in if only someone else would pay for it. Apparently this year's holiday motif is "teens/young adults frolicking in a river engaging in sexual activity in multiple group settings." I hate it when group river sex becomes commercialized.

Apologies, Anyone?

Let's review how some of the nation's most respected opinion leaders previously characterized Captain James Yee, an American serviceman and chaplain who stands accused of adultery and browsing internet porn.

Michelle Malkin:

There's something terribly wrong when an American soldier overseas can't receive Scriptures in the mail, but a Muslim chaplain can preach freely among al Qaeda and Taliban enemy combatants at Guantanamo Bay.

This is a story of two soldiers, one Christian, one Muslim. It's a cautionary tale that suggests how religious double standards and politically driven hypersensitivity threaten not only our troops, but us all.

Mona Charen:

This ought to shut up our European detractors who've been screaming that we are torturing prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. Not only do we provide the inmates there with medical care, surgery, dentistry, reading matter, familiar and religiously permitted foods, copies of the Koran and religious services -- we've also provided spies. Two, at least -- and counting -- to judge from news reports.

The first is Capt. James Yee, 35, who served as a Muslim chaplain at Guantanamo. Yee is a Chinese American who was raised a Lutheran but converted to Islam while in the military.

John Leo:

The military prison at Guantanamo Bay is the most secure facility the United States has ever built. At least it�s supposed to be. But it�s beginning to look as though Muslim terrorists or their sympathizers may have already figured out how to penetrate it.

Frank Gaffney:

One can only hope that the surveillance that resulted in Yee�s arrest is part of a wider effort to ensure that chaplains ministering to Muslims in the U.S. military are promoting the sorts of moderate, pro-American views he purportedly held in 2001, rather than the sort of radical, intolerant and jihadist views of the so-called �Islamists.� Otherwise, the danger is very real that serving members of the armed forces could be subjected to ominous proselytizing intended to give rise to clandestine Fifth Column activities in this country and a whole new front in the War on Terror.

To be sure, these blowhards all inserted "allegedly" or the like somewhere in their columns, no doubt at the insistence of their syndicates' lawyers. But from their prose you know they were all well lubricated by the idea of a Muslim traitor in the U.S. Army.

These cretinous columnists have two things in common: (1) The source of their reports: The Moonie Times; (2) You know they won't revisit Captain Yee's story any time soon.

Way to Go, Matt

Matt Yglesias is not afraid to throw down when wingnuts start to smear. Commenting on a Washington Times profile on George Soros, Yglesias says:

"Worst of all, he backed the McCain-Feingold bill, but now is contributing money to liberal political causes in ways that don't violate the McCain-Feingold rules. Scandal! Leaving this aside, let's note that the Times, financed as it is by a deranged cult, is not exactly well-positioned to complain about where the left gets its cash." (Emphasis added)

Those are the words that everyone needs to hear every time the Moonie Times is mentioned.

Sanctify Me, Baby

President Bush criticized Tuesday's ruling by Massachusetts' highest court striking down the state's ban on same-sex marriage and said he would work with Congress to "defend the sanctity of marriage."

"Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman," Bush said in a statement released shortly after he arrived in London for a state visit. He said the ruling by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court "violates this important principle."

How ... sacred ... is ... it? Just ask Neilsie:

The Bush divorce, completed in April, was prompted in part by [Neil] Bush's relationship with another woman. He admitted in the deposition that he previously had sex with several other women while on trips to Thailand and Hong Kong at least five years ago.

The women, he said, simply knocked on the door of his hotel room, entered and engaged in sex with him. He said he did not know if they were prostitutes because they never asked for money and he did not pay them.

"Mr Bush, you have to admit it's a pretty remarkable thing for a man just to go to a hotel room door and open it and have a woman standing there and have sex with her," Brown said.

"It was very unusual," Bush said.

Sacred like room service. Motherfucker didn't even leave a tip.

Monday, November 24, 2003

Milt Rosenblog

Hey, Professor Milton Rosenburg of WGN's "Extension 720" has his own blog. I think Milt's far to the right of me, but his show is thought-provoking and literate and Milt's unfailingly polite to his guests. (Just the opposite of this site.) And he links to Kieran Healy and Crooked Timber!

You'd think WGN would pay to get rid of his Blogspot ad, though. C'mn you cheap bastards, show Milt some respect.

I don't know how glad he was about it, but James Wolcott had to suffer sharing airtime with a fool on Reliable Sources this past Sunday. Here's the brilliant thought of Wolcott's co-panelist, the Original Son of Sam:

KURTZ: Jonah Goldberg, is Michael Jackson being convicted by the media?

JONAH GOLDBERG, "NATIONAL REVIEW ONLINE": I think somewhat, yes. I mean, I think...

KURTZ: And you're not troubled by this?

GOLDBERG: Not terribly, because I actually think he's guilty. But -- and I think James raises a very good point about how this is a continuation of a story. In many ways, I liken it to the O.J. Simpson case.

In many ways, I liken Jonah Goldberg to a used condom. Very profound, JoJo.

Despite Jonah's efforts to suck all intelligence out of the program, Wolcott got off a great line: " Also, I have to say that my favorite new TV personality is Michael's personal magician, Majestic Magnificent. I mean, you would think calling yourself Majestic would be enough. But no, he's majestic and magnificent."

And James Wolcott really nailed Rush to the mast with this comment:

And apparently over a number of years it adds up to $300,000 or $400,000, which he said was for gratuities and travel and paying off the contractors. I mean, you know, it sounds like he's throwing out thousand-dollar tips to the bellhop. That's a very interesting development, and that blows up the -- you know, the mode of Rush's personal saga, that it's all about him beating drugs. Now we know.
We can assume James won't be called as a character witness during the sentencing phase of Rush's money laundering trial.

Hack to Basics

Little Mickey Kaus is back to his old tricks again. The plagiarists' pal is criticizing Howie Kurtz for not commenting on Bernard Weinraub, a NYT journo who lifted paragraphs from a website for a showbiz story in the Times. Kaus wonders why Kurtz wrote about a Denver Post plagiarist but is silent on Weinraub.

If you click on the link to Howie's story, you see the Denver plagiarist was guilty of 13 separate incidents of plagiarism, which might make his misdeeds more newsworthy than a single incident by Weinraub. But Mick doesn't have a hardon for the Denver thief like he does for the Timesman. (Kaus could try to find 12 more incidents (or even one) by Weinraub, but that would require actual effort.)

And why isn't Kaus kvetching about Howie's lack of coverage for Slate's own resident web-plagiarist, Margo Howard? Does Kurtz have to clear all his plagiarism stories with Kaus to make sure he's writing about a Kaus enemy?

And let's not forget Kaus' own friendship with the woman who invented cut-and-paste journalism, Ruth Shalit. I don't recall Kaus waxing moralistic when any of her many thefts were disclosed.

Southern Heritage ... Gun Ownership ... Tennessee...

This story has it all.

Where's Professor Reynolds with the in depth coverage?

(Via Atrios)

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Paul Krugman responds to the Great Unravel(l)ing Scandal:

Mr. Krugman, for his part, said he did not remember seeing the cover until prepublication copies were sent to reviewers. "I think it was intended to be ironic," he said.

The cover images of Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney were borrowed from puppets carried by protesters outside the World Economic Forum in New York in 2002. Mr. Krugman said that he took part in the forum and does not share the protesters' views. He noted that his columns have defended free trade and argued that the administration's war in Iraq was not about oil.

"It is a marketing thing, not a statement," he said. "I should have taken a look at that and said, `What are you doing marketing me as if I am Michael Moore? This is silly.' "

Incivility is one thing, he said, but the book cover "may be undignified, which would be a reason to object."

Krugman did not go on to say "If you can't argue with the facts, attack the cover of the English edition." But he should have.

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Mary Loves Bernie

Bernie "Ignorance" Goldberg is so desparate to pad his latest tome that he's been carrying John Lott's water. And Goldberg comes out the chump again.

Bob Somerby, in a rare weekend Howler, and Tim Lambert have the details.

Update (11/25): The Tim Lambert link is now fixed. I hope.

Friday, November 21, 2003

Reading Yesterday's Bush Blog

What's Happening on Friday, November 21, 2003?


Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld participates in a Pentagon Town Hall meeting.

I'm sure that was a frank and open exchange of ideas.

It's OxyClear To Me Now

Like many folks, I was scratching my head when Rush "Chunky Junkie" Limbaugh said the following while revealing his drug addiction:

"I can no longer try to live my life by making other people happy."

But now, after reading this article, it's all so clear.

Rush wanted to withdraw $10,000 a pop but he agreed to withdraw just under 10k because the bank wanted him to.

Rush wanted to pay his contractors with a check, but they all demanded he pay in cash so he not only complied but also lugged the loot down to Florida to boot.

Rush was so generous to others he had to withdraw nearly 10k 30 or 40 times just to cover "gratuities."

Of course, I can't still figure out how wanting please others caused Limpballs to use drugs. Maybe someone wanted him to become an addict, and he just couldn't say "no."

Politicizing The War on Terror

Hey, Pistoff Kristoff! Here's a subject for your next column on civility in politics: The G.O.P. is running ads saying those who oppose Bush support terrorism. I'll even send you a nasty email you can quote if that'll motivate you.

Pub Crawlers

Not only does Bush bring five chefs with him to replace Buckingham Palace's fare, he then goes down to the pub for a photo op with a plate of greasy chips and mashed veg.

As Bush digested his fish, chips and mushy peas and the presidential entourage swept out of town toward the airport, the pub's landlady Mishy Rayner reflected on the visit from the world's most powerful man.

"He seemed thrilled to be here," she said as the pub prepared to open its doors to the public again. "He was lovely and mixed with everybody. He looked really well and is very good looking in real life."

"They were very appreciative and seemed to enjoy it," she added as staff arranged daffodils and irises in vases on the dark wooden tables in the low-ceilinged, traditional pub.
He mixed with everybody, even though the public wasn't let in. How sociable.

Too bad he didn't just stop by the Old Vic and have a few pints with Peggy Mitchell and Dirty Den. It would've been more authentic.

That self-described Democrat, Mickey Kaus, attends George Will lectures sponsored by the Manhattan Institute, condemns Roe v. Wade as and "anti-democratic extension of the Constitution," and thinks the Republicans should have blocked Clinton's liberal judicial nominations.

Tell me again: What idiot still thinks Mickey Kaus is a Democrat?

(Note: No link this time, y'all know where to find him.)

Grand Old Police Blotter: Dirty Linnen Edition

The great and good has exposed us to a Republican attorney who stands accused of public indecency, assault, felony kidnapping and gross sexual imposition. Authorities say that Stephen P. Linnen briefed the Ohio Speaker of the House, Republican Larry Householder, in camera during the day, and worked with camera, sans briefs, at night.

THE SO-CALLED �naked photographer� has struck 39 times � including confrontations with three women Wednesday � often wearing only a baseball cap, police said.

According to police, Stephen P. Linnen, 32, allegedly approached two women Wednesday and was arrested when police spotted him nude in an alley behind a supermarket near where one victim reported being confronted. Police found a camera, stocking cap and sunglasses stashed by a nearby garbage bin.

Linnen, 32, deputy counsel for Republican House Speaker Larry Householder, was charged with public indecency and assault, and posted bond.

He was rearrested Thursday on felony kidnapping and gross sexual imposition charges after a search of his apartment, where authorities found incriminating photographs, police Lt. Jeff Spence said.

Was Flash Moron wearing an Indians cap, or does he support the Columbus Clippers?

Linnen has not been convicted of anything, but would be well advised to offer free legal aid to his fellow convicts in the event that he is.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003


You can't read Romensko anymore with coming across a story of some journalist cut-and-pasting a chunk of their article from some website. The New York Times, Slate and practically every sportswriter you've never heard of -- They're all doing it. I propose calling this technique "Shalitting," after an early practitioner of this form of theft.

But there's a subtle variation on the theme that's been getting more attention lately. It seems a lot of wingnut book authors are conducting the "research" for their books simply by surfing the web, relying on bogus sources like WorldNutDaily and the Media Research Center, and passing those sites' false claims off as fact.

Earlier, I mentioned that I suspected David Limbaugh was simply retyping inaccurate press releases from fundy websites and printing them as gospel in his book, Persecution. Now Bob Somerby has caught Bernie Goldberg recycling misquotes which earlier appeared on Brent Bozell's Media Research Center website.

It doesn't bother me that the wingnuts do this, since I don't buy their shoddy tomes. But you'd think the suckers who do buy these books would demand a better product for their hard-earned dollars.

I enjoyed Instacracker's defense of Tech Central Station, the Astroturf e-rag published by a lobbying firm and fronted by Jim "D'oh 36,000" Glassman. In essence, Reynolds says that no one at TCS ever told him what to write.

Yeah, and The New York Post never tells "Junior Jumble" and "Family Circus" what to say either. You're filler, dude; they don't give a shit what you say.

The genteel world of rap music was shaken to its core this week by the discovery of the following controversial lyrics from the late 80s or early 90s:

Blacks and whites they sometimes mix/
but black girls only want your money cause they're dumb chicks....
Don't date a black girl/
if you do it once you won't do it twice....
Black girls are dumb, and white girls are good chicks.

The author of this divisive rhyme, which warranted its own news conference? No, not Ol' Dirty Kaus, but Eminem. One can hardly imagine the women who coveted the fortune of the 18-year-old Marshall Mathers.

In his defense, Eminem says that he has since promoted the cause of racial unity by recording numerous songs imagining the murder of and/or assaults upon white women, including his mother and wife.

It's about time Karl Marx got his own blog.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

(Let's Do) The Obtusi

How dense can one person be?

When one reads the following words

"Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman. Today's decision of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court violates this important principle. I will work with congressional leaders and others to do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage."

a sentient being can have many rational responses, but this

"I'm not sure what this can mean"

is not one of them.

The only way to read Sully's response is that he's fantasizing Bush won't lead the fight for a federal constitutional amendment, but will allow other G.O.P. leaders to front for him. Then he can pretend Bush doesn't mean what he says. (Which is often the case, but not this time.)

Sully certainly knows that this has always been Bush's position. Surely he also knows that Bush admires anti-gay judges like Scalia and is seeking to fill the federal benches with more and more judges like him.

Playing dumb won't make the real George Bush go away. And it won't cause him to alienate his base either.

Turf's Up?

Joshua Marshall teases it.

He's Really Het Up About This Issue

Bush is so twitterpated about gay marriage that he's posted his official condemnation of the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision on his campaign website. I hope this won't put a damper on drinkies with Prince Charles.

Meanwhile, according to the flaming heterosexual Bush Blog:

"Secretary of State Colin Powell's Schedule participates in the U.S.-European Union Ministerial meetings in Brussels, Belgium."

Colin's so out of favor with the neocon cabal that they're only sending his schedule to meetings now.

The Reviews Are In

Kevin Drum calls Mickey Kaus's latest blog entry a "tiresome," "annoying" "smear" and "the cheapest of cheap shots." He also calls the tiny hack a "media shill."

Kevin's being overly kind to the shill, but he's absolutely right. Kaus spins a complete fantasy to bash Howard Dean. Dean's worst enemy would be embarassed to quote Kaus's drivel. What the hell is Slate thinking when it publishes crap like this?


Uh, not if George "the W. is for Wallace" Bush has his way. The moral paragon and pussyhound says:

"Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman. Today's decision of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court violates this important principle. I will work with congressional leaders and others to do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage."

Sorry, dude, but you can't have what Poppy and Bar and Jennifer or Neilsie and Sharon and Maria and the Bangkok hookers have. Wouldn't be sanctified.

Monday, November 17, 2003

Oxymoron Of The Year

A journalism award named after Babbs Olson.

This year's recipient: Wesley "Klan 2.0" Pruden beat out Snitchens for the Twisted Teeth Trophy.

I'm Going To Be The Best Me That I Can Be

"I can no longer try to live my life by making other people happy. I can no longer turn over the power of my feelings to anybody else, which is what I have done a lot of my life. I have thought that I had to be this way or that way in order to be liked or appreciated or understood - and in the process, I denied myself who I was and I denied the other people I was talking to and relating with who I really am, and that isn't good.

"You can boil it down to one real simple essence: I can't be responsible for anybody's happiness but my own, and if I allow somebody else the power to determine my happiness, then...well...that's something I don't want to do. I can't do any longer. I put myself first. Doesn't mean be rudely selfish. It just means I can't depend on other people to make me happy. I have to do that myself." -- Stuart Smalley, Stuart Saves His Family

So "Stuart's" problem is that he isn't egotistical enough. Who knew?

Bernie Goldberg, the gold standard of right-wing liars.

As Bob Somerby says, "It�s hard to find polite English words to describe Goldberg�s utter contempt for his readers�or to describe his contempt for American democracy, which he�s determined to shit on again."

You know, manly in that hide the drugs from your wife, blackmailed by your supplier while begging for more pills kind of way

Bill Bennett, gambling addict and friend of Clarence Thomas, pornography addict, sings the praises of his buddy, Rush Limbaugh, the plain old addict addict.

And yet Mr. Bennett said that Mr. Limbaugh deserved to be judged less severely than former President Bill Clinton, a Democrat and perennial Limbaugh target, who was impeached in 1999 over his deceptions regarding an affair with a White House intern. "He's not president of the United States," Mr. Bennett said of Mr. Limbaugh. "He's not blaming his accusers. He's not lying. He's not lying under oath."

"He was manly," Mr. Bennett added of Mr. Limbaugh. "He was straightforward."

That's very butch of you, Bill.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Reading The Bush Blog

"What's Happening on Sunday, November 16, 2003?

First Lady Laura Bush is in Dallas, TX where she will tour the Nasher Sculpture Center. Following the tour, Mrs. Bush will participate in a media availability at the museum."

"Mrs. Bush, does this work remind you of anyone?"

Send Your Non-Tax Deductible Donations to "Viagra For Colmes," Care of The Fox News Channel

"The only way to make the case that FOX is not fair and balanced is to not give me my due," [Alan Colmes] said halfway through a recent phone interview about his new book, Red, White and Liberal, his voice rising for the first time. "I'm half the show and I get exactly half the time. To suggest that I'm less potent is just absurd."

I thought only dogs could hear Alan when he raises his voice.

Pretzel Logic

The kind so irrational it would make a dimwit choke.

See also Feith-Based Foreign Policy.

"No evidence of any Iraqi effort to transfer weapons of mass destruction or weapons to terrorists," Cordesman wrote of Kay's briefing. "Only possibility was Saddam's Fedayeen [his son's irregular terrorist force] and talk only."

One of the concerns the Bush administration cited early last year to justify the need to invade Iraq was that Hussein would provide chemical or biological agents or weapons to al Qaeda or other terrorists. Despite the disclosure that U.S. and British intelligence officials assessed that Hussein would use or distribute such weapons only if he were attacked and faced defeat, administration spokesmen have continued to defend that position.

Last Thursday, Undersecretary of Defense Douglas J. Feith defended the administration's prewar position at the Council on Foreign Relations. "The idea that we didn't have specific proof that he was planning to give a biological agent to a terrorist group," he said, "doesn't really lead you to anything, because you wouldn't expect to have that information even if it were true. And our intelligence is just not at the point where if Saddam had that intention that we would necessarily know it."
In other words: We were right to claim that Saddam planned to give biological agents to terrorists because our intelligence wasn't good enough to prove he didn't plan to.

Or, in still other words, I know that Douglas J. Feith intends to bugger a mountain goat because I can't prove he doesn't intend to.

Saturday, November 15, 2003

"I Laughed, I Cried, I Stained Myself...."

The print ads for the film version of The Human Stain feature a rave review from, of all people, Ward Connerly. That ad's not online, but here's a Lloyd Grovel column quoting Connerly's endorsement. Connerly says, "every generation has its race movie � from 'Guess Who's Coming to Dinner' to 'To Kill a Mockingbird' � and I believe that 'The Human Stain' is the race movie for this generation."

Well, I have to disagree. "Soul Man" and "True Identity" are the race pictures of this generation.

Grovel claims that Connerly's "crusade against affirmative action and racial identification has earned him savage personal vilification and death threats." What Grovel and Connerly leave unsaid is that Connerly's crusade also has earned him speaking fees and a place on the University of California Board of Regents, not to mention early screenings of Miramax films.

"I Support President Bush Because...."

Okay, be honest now.

Oh, and you can certainly believe every word of this, I'm sure.

Fomenting Stupidity In Washington D.C. and Tennessee

Mark Kleiman selects a new low from the Dimwitted Duo of Instacracker and his trusty sidekick, the Boy Sully. The low in question is a Reynolds-endorsed Sully attack on General Wesley Clark, and Kleiman is right that 'Cracker insinuates General Clark is anti- (or un-) American.

But there are so many lows to choose from where the 'Cracker/Sully team are concerned. Here's a good one.

The 'Cracker links:

"ANDREW SULLIVAN WRITES that the BBC is fomenting chaos in London."

Actually, Sully claims more ambitiously that the BBC is "FOMENTING CHAOS IN BRITAIN" and trying the "bring the country to a standstill." And he says, "And the BBC has whipped up anti-Americanism to fever pitch."

The proof? Sully's usual source, an anonymous e-mail. The e-mailer's proof:

It's really bad here. Yesterday Radio 4 PM Programme they had [sic] an American 'expert' commenting on the American failures in Iraq. Of course it was some guy from the Clinton administration. Channel 4 had Americans who hate Bush and showed them preparing for their protest. Will Michael More [sic] be joining them? It wouldn't surprise me.

Pretty scary stuff, eh? Anti-American hysteria has been whipped up to a fever pitch by an interview with a former Clinton administration official and a report about some protestors. That's, at most, 6 minutes of programming in the BBC's around the clock programming on multiple television and radio channels. Either the BBC has become incredibly effective in creating mass hysteria, or all of its listeners as are thick as Sully.

But wait, you say. Where's the proof of chaos and hysteria? Where's the proof that the BBC fomented/created/whipped up the hysteria? Well, that's the beauty part. In 'Cracker/Sully land, if you really, really wish for something -- and you receive a subliterate e-mail from someone on the subject -- it becomes true.

Update (11/16): Commentor Nick Sweeney points out that Channel 4, home of Celebrity Wife Swap and How Clean Is Your House?, isn't part of the BBC. Which means that the Beeb is fomenting chaos and whipping up anti-American hysteria by running a single interview with an American official. Very impressive.

p.s. Perhaps Channel Four can feature Sully's integrity on Scrapheap Challenge.

Friday, November 14, 2003

Mrs. Moleface, Tear Down That Wall!

Mona Charen is a n�tzlicher dummkopf. In a column published today, she writes:

"It wasn't true. The story began to unravel as soon as Lynch was taken to West Germany for medical treatment. Doctors said there were no signs of gunshots or stab wounds, but she did have injuries consistent with a truck accident, and a terrible one at that. Everyone else in her vehicle was killed."

It's no surprise Mona and her editors are historically illiterate. But why does she hate Saint Ronnie?

(Link via TBogg.)

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Hilton Head

Now that I've done my joke, can this just go away?

Grand Old Police Blotter: Southern Exposure Edition

Another right-wing radio talker has been accused of criminal conduct. Unlike Mega-Junkie Rush Limbaugh, this one's been indicted.

Radio talk show host Jon Matthews, who has been a fixture of the Houston broadcast scene for more than a decade, was indicted by a Fort Bend County grand jury on a charge of indecency with a child.

The indictment, which was unsealed Wednesday after Matthews was arrested, alleges Matthews knowingly and intentionally exposed his genitals to a girl under the age of 17 on Oct. 9. ....

Matthews, who served in the U.S. Marines, usually wrote about Fort Bend County issues, often railing against local school district officials whom he dubbed "educrats."

Matthews' former employer claims that Matthews maintains his innocence. He also accepted Matthews' resignation.

The Houston Chronicle reports that Matthews is a long-time Clinton-hater. Maybe Nick Kristoff can do a column on him.

Matthews has written recently on children being exposed to "adult" literature in the public library, in a column post-dating the alleged incident by about two weeks. I'll quote it here in case it disappears from the website:

Would you think that books dealing explicitly with sexual activity and including graphic illustrations would be in the children's section of our public libraries in Fort Bend County? Well, that is just such the case. A local women's Republican club is going to the trouble of circulating a petition to have the books moved to the adult section. Why is this even an issue? The county librarian should simply go pick up the books and walk them over to the adult section and stick them way up high on a shelf.

This is another example of our out of control bureaucracies. This is a matter of them knowing what is best for the masses and don't even dare criticize. It seems there is a process that must be followed when anyone complains about a book. There is a three-member review committee that has to meet and go over the book. This is zero common sense. Why would anyone believe that graphic sexual literature should be in a children's section? Just go get the books and place them in the adult section. See how easy it is to solve problems?
For those interested, there's many years' worth of archives from Matthews at the Fort Bend Star website.

We're All Homeland Security Executives Now

Moonie scribbler John McCaslin has his Tom Ridge y-fronts in a bunch over a list of "Homeland Security Executives" which will supposedly aid this Nation's enemies.

Terrorists should have no problem identifying thousands of Americans working in the homeland security field.

Marketer Edith Roman Associates has introduced a new file, "Homeland Security Executives," which lists 335,844 names, telephone numbers and business addresses. The list includes officials in the public and private sectors who play a role in responding to emergencies and disseminating information, from government and school personnel to medical workers and biologists.
Yeah, it's an embarassment of riches for the ambitious, over-inclusive terrorist. Apparently one out of every 1,000 Americans is a "Homeland Security Executive." Hell, I'm probably one. Terrorists who were previously stymied as to where all the government buildings and defense centers were located will start working half-days now that Edith Roman Associates has done all the hard work for them. Let's arrest Edith and hold her indefinitely as a material witness, post haste.

Upholding The Traditions of The F.B.I. And B.A.T.F.

This is disgusting. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms employs a man, Edward Bender, who, according to numerous individuals, is an outspoken racist. The man is a chemist who testified at the trial of John Muhammed and is scheduled to testify in the trial of Lee Malvo.

A supervisor and "Bender continually and loudly expressed strong racial prejudice using such words as 'jungle bunnies' and 'niggers' repeatedly," a 1991 FBI memo stated, recounting allegations from one of Bender's lab colleagues. ...

Bender "would not label instrumental output, follow protocols, wash glassware, clean the laboratory, leave his work area in clean condition though he worked trace analysis, was generally insubordinate and openly and extremely racially biased using racial slurs often in my presence," Whitehurst said. ...

"He joked a lot about blacks' facial features," Gregor said. "I do not consider Bender to be a serious bigot. He would make offensive remarks about anybody."

A 1992 FBI interview report quoted Bender as recounting "discussions which occurred after either he or Rudolph saw a street person out the window who was generally black. The comments would include a question as to whether that individual was formerly the mayor of a given city."

If these claims are true -- and Bender admitted to making "joking" racial comments but denied making certain slurs -- Bender and whoever is responsible for hiring him at the ATF should lose their jobs.

My suspicion is that we won't hear a peep about this from the Ruby Ridge Waco-ff Janet Reno-hating crowd -- unless they give an award to Bender.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Spelling With The Moonies

Rush Limbaugh is relesed from detox

Headline in the November 13, 2003 Moonie Times.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

I Take It You Won't Be Borrowing Clarence's Copy Then

"Hustler is such a despicable, abominable, worthless rag. I don't know why anybody would spend a nickel to buy something like that, and for them to do that to that young lady who has been through all she's been through, I think it's the lowest form of animal life that I've seen in a long, long time." -- Senator Orrin "Long Dong" Hatch (R - Utah)

In Afghan Fields, The Poppies Blow

The Ballad of Bill Hubbard

"Two things that have haunted me most are the days when I had to collect the paybooks; and when I left Bill Hubbard in no-man's-land.

"I was picked up and taken into their trench. And I'd no sooner taken two or three steps down the trench when I heard a call, 'Hello Razz, I'm glad to see you. This is my second night here,' and he said 'I'm feeling bad,' and it was Bill Hubbard, one of the men we'd trained in England, one of the original battalion.

"I had a look at his wound, rolled him over; I could see it was probably a fatal wound. You could imagine what pain he was in, he was dripping with sweat; and after I'd gone about three shellholes, traversed that, had it been...had there been a path or a road I could have done better.

"He pummeled me, 'Put me down, put me down, I'd rather die, I'd rather die, put me down.' I was hoping he would faint. He said 'I can't go any further, let me die.' I said 'If I leave you here Bill you won't be found, let's have another go.' He said 'All right then.' And the same thing happened; he couldn't stand it any more, and I had to leave him there, in no-man's-land."

(From Roger Waters' Amused to Death)

A Constitutionally Protected Comment

Atrios has linked to the transcript of the hearing on Fox's motion for a preliminary injunction against Al Franken, which arose out of Franken's use of the phrase "Fair and Balanced" in the subtitle of his Lying Liars book. I have two favorite sections.

First, Judge Chin gently slaps around Faux's in-house shyster, Dianne Brandi, for sumbitting an improper declaration which was not based on her personal knowledge.

trademark is being used, and in fact it has a duty to protect its trademark.

THE COURT: OK. Let me ask one other question. I'm not really sure that it's germane, but I have an affidavit from Dianne Brandy, and I guess she's the vice president of legal affairs. This is an incident that has received a lot of discussion. It's the subject of affidavits. That's the exchange between Mr. Franken and Mr. O'Reilly at the book expo. And Ms. Brandy makes some factual statements in her affidavit, and I'm wondering what the basis for the factual statements are. Was she there? She says in her affidavit in paragraph 13 that Mr. O'Reilly never made the statement about winning a Peabody. How does she know that?

MS. HANSWIRTH: The basis of Ms. Brandy's knowledge is looking at public records and discussing that with Mr. O'Reilly.

THE COURT: Are there not some transcripts of O'Reilly shows where it appears from the transcripts that he did make a statement about winning a Peabody?

MS. HANSWIRTH: I don't think so, your Honor. I think the statement was that the television program "Inside Edition" won a Peabody, not that he personally did.

THE COURT: I think it says "we" in a couple of them anyway. Why is there not an affidavit from Mr. O'Reilly where he denies under oath that he made the statements?

MS. HANSWIRTH: We could provide one, but I don't think it's germane to our motion.

THE COURT: I don't know if it's germane or not, but it's in your affidavits, and it's in your brief. I mean, usually when you have an affidavit, it should be on personal knowledge unless stated otherwise. I'm just a little uncertain as to the basis for the knowledge. It doesn't say that it's --
In plain English, the Court is saying that Brandi's affidavit is hearsay, without Brandi acknowledging that she had no personal knowledge of the matters asserted. That's improper, and the Court is telling Hanswirth -and Brandi -- that they know better than to submit an improper affidavit.

Hanswirth's response, acknowledging that the improper matter in the affidavit isn't even relevant to the motion, is a classic example of how not to respond to the Court. And it's telling -- as Judge Chin recognized -- that Faux didn't submit a sworn affidavit from Bill O'Reilly saying he never made the Peabody claim. I wonder whether Hanswirth's offer to provide that affidavit was the reason the suit was dropped after the hearing.

The second comment of interest:

MS. HANSWIRTH: You can go on to the Internet and you can see hundreds of web pages and Internet sites that are extremely critical of the Fox News Channel. The Fox News Channel, the more popular it gets, the more criticism it gets. Fox News Channel does not take any action against those people. It's their First Amendment right to criticize Fox News. The difference here is that this is a commercial use. This is on a book cover. This is being used to sell a product. And Fox News does have an interest in the way its trademark is being used, and in fact it has a duty to protect its trademark.

It's a good thing the fucks at Fox don't know just how lucrative the Roger Ailes blog empire actually is.

Anyone who doubts the importance of the 2004 Presidential election should read David Margolick's piece in the current Vanity Fair. Just imagine the destruction Bush can cause in America over the 50 years after he leaves office. Because Karl Rove already has.

Only In America

Can a man call people "pussies" and then characterize his critics as "pathetic" for resorting "childish insults."

Not only is irony dead, its corspe is being fucked up the ass by a grotesque South African.

Monday, November 10, 2003

At Best of Both Worlds, P. O'Neill (not the former Treasury Secretary, we presume) reports on the other R. Ailes (not me), who presumes to speak for America:

"[Roger] Ailes continued: "The United States has some reservations about organisations the EU gives money to as well as regimes it supports. In Iraq we are trying to build a new government with some democratic standards. Why won't you help us?" he asked. "No, no, no," Prodi said theatrically. "We will not give money when we don't know to whom."

What do you mean "we," grotesque man?

Rebel Without A C--k

Girly-boy Jonah Goldberg turns into a manly man on the high seas, but ... shhhh... don't tell his mommy:

"The ship's very nice and so are all of the people. Lots of food, lots of drinking. I will give you the real skinny later, when the suits aren't monitoring my transmissions."

What an outlaw. Be sure to have the bartender put your Long Island Ice Tea in a dirty glass, JoJo. And when exactly do you publish things in that lame-ass blog that "the Man" doesn't read?

(Inspired by TBogg's vision of Jonah in a posing pouch.)

Lies And The Lying Putzes Who Repeat Them Unquestioningly

Howie the Putz Kurtz continues to carry water for Ronald Reagan and the RNC.

Howard Kurtz: The problem with "The Reagans" has nothing to do with a conservative or liberal media (except to the extent that conservative commentators helped lead the charge against the movie). The problem is that CBS chose to do a documentary-style movie about an ailing president and a first lady struggling to care for him, and then--made stuff up! If CBS had done a hard-hitting movie on the Gipper, with Iran-contra and all the rest, and stuck to the facts, it would have been able to defend its product. But with even the president of CBS says the movie was biased, you've got a problem.

Howie doesn't identify a single "made-up stuff" in the film. And the only "lie" identified in the RNC talking points is Reagan's assertion that AIDS was a divine punishment. However, as Bob Somerby incomparably points out in today's Daily Howler, Reagan did make that claim, albeit in different language than that in the film script. Of course, Howie knows this, but it's not in his script.

Shorter Kim DuToit

Sorry, but it's not possible to make Mr. DuT shorter than God, in Her infinite wisdom, has already made him.

Reading The Unpatriotic Bush Blog....

Here are some civil, discourse-level raising quotes from the Bush Blog:

"Make no mistake. This election could be as close as 2000. And as Democrats have shown time and time again, they will say and do anything to win."
Yeah, like receiving the most national votes, both popularly and in the electoral college, time and time again.

How about this gem:

"A recent survey has found that that Republicans are more patriotic and content with the direction of the nation."

The Bush Blog dances right up to the line by not stating explicitly that Republicans are more patriotic than Democrats, but then leaps over the line by linking to a Moonie Times article which expressly makes that bogus claim.

In truth, the survey states that almost every American surveyed claimed to be "very patriotic," but that more Pukes than Dems claimed to "completely agree" with the statement "I am very patriotic." (Now, if I told someone I was very patriotic and then someone asked me whether I "completely agreed" with what I said, my response would be, "What are you, a fucking moron? I just told you I am very patriotic, and now you're asking me whether I strongly agree with my own fucking statement?") But claiming to be patriotic is not the same as being patriotic. I'm sure those Pukes would have "completely agreed" that they "very attractive" too.

Also note that the percentage of Dems who "strongly agree" that they are "very patriotic" has remained stable, while the number of Pukes claiming to be patriotic has risen 8 percent since 1999. I guess those fair-weather Americans only feel patriotic when their boy is in office.

By the way, what does this salute remind you of?

Stalk of the Town

Atrios in the The New Yorker.

Along with Paul Krugman and some wanker.

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Fun With Bigtory

Meanwhile, John Derbyshire amuses himself with racist fantasies. The inbred Brit imagines Hadassah Lieberman using the words "feygeleh" (sic) and "tchotchkes" at the breakfast table, while the Reverend Al Sharpton uses "yo" and "ax" in a telephone conversation. Apparently one can get away with such bigoted comedy at NRO without a peep from the site's Jewish and African-American contributors.

Update: Jesse Taylor at spotted this one too.

Update II: Even Bell Curve Sully, England's embarrassment, had this one yesterday. But Sully uses the ungrammatical phrase "evinced the response" (Hint: try "responded" or "said") so he's barely literate himself.

"Brothers or lovers or both?" "Rick Santorum's worst nightmare" or, in honor of the Right's most courageous junkie, "A Proud Papa."

The jokes just write themselves.

World O'Crap is reporting that National Review Online is selling a load of cheap tat to its the taste-impaired readership.

Since you can get a Catholic home loan and invest in a Catholic mutual fund at NRO, can a collector's plate featuring Jonah Goldberg as Christina Aguilera be far behind?

Meanwhile, the latest National Review cruise has set sail. Not surprisingly, they left Kathryn Jean Lopez in dry dock. Just imagine how many 90-year-olds could die trying to shove a woman overboard.

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Thank God We Didn't Listen To Paul Wellstone

"Speaking later to reporters, Wellstone said he does not view Iraq as the imminent threat that Coleman does. Wellstone says there's no evidence linking Saddam Hussein with the 9/11 attacks, nor is there evidence, he says, that Iraq possesses weapons of mass destruction."

Geez... What was Wellstone thinking?

Reading The Bush Blog....

Look who's made the Bush Blog: Gregg Easterbrook. Gregg's proudest moment, no doubt.

But here's one I'm more interested in. The blog hypes an op-ed from one Joe Repya, identified as an Army Reservist who just visited Iraq. Repya says:

The fact of the matter is that progress is being made in Iraq. I saw it when I visited Iraq in September. Hospitals, universities, schools, businesses and uncensored newspapers are open and available to the people of Iraq.

Holste refuses to acknowledge growing support from the international community. I saw military personnel from 10 nations while in Iraq. The United Nations Security Council two weeks ago voted unanimously to help coalition nations bring security and freedom to Iraq. [blah, blah, blah]

Who is Repya? Well, he served in Desert Storm. He's got enough influence in the Republican Party to score a photo with Bush the Elder. He's also a Colemanite thug who claimed in 2002 that "We have soldiers and sailors and airmen whose families are on foot [sic] stamps today because of the actions of Sen. Wellstone[.]" And he claims to be a military analyst for Fox News.

Repya's also something of an amateur historian:

"It took years after World War II to end fighting in Europe and on the islands controlled by Japan."

Well, he's certainly qualified to work for Faux, if nothing else.

Conflicted, Talentless and Unoriginal

Mickey Kaus has a post entitled "Hollywood's Most Conflicted Hack." Surprisingly, it's not autobiographical.

Now that Mick's boy, the Predator, is in office, the diminutive dipshit has lost all interest in California politics. Instead, he's reduced to clowning about the allegations concerning Prince Charles. Mick's fascination with dirty tricks abruptly ended when the Predator and his vile mouthpiece Sean Walsh were caught slandering one of the Predator's accusers.

Kaus has moved on to Krugman bashing, as if that hasn't been beaten to death by other talentless hacks and stalkers.

Putting the B.S. Back On PBS

Thankfully I don't support public television, or I'd have to write an outraged letter canceling my membership. The oh-so-liberal PBS will be offering a weekly half-hour program starring none other than Tucker "Faye" Carlson and his weenie bow tie. I guess they're putting Carlson on public telly to balance out Wall Street Week, and Think Tank with Ben Wattenburg, the Nightly Business Report, and Uncommon Knowledge and The McLaughlin Group.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Cornholed Commentary

Overlooked again. Seems I haven't been trying hard enough. Maybe if I throw some ridicule at the idea of an "Iowa-based think tank." ... It's like a wading pool, but not as deep and its occupants aren't as bright. ...Or: I wonder if there's as much inbreeding in the Hogberg Dynasty? Stuff like that.

Finally, some clever writing in that tossers' rag, and it's taken from the left.


The Lies of The Bush Administration and Sue Schmidt, and The Harm They Caused

"It hurt in a way that people would make up stories that they had no truth about. Only I would have been able to know that, because the other four people in my vehicle aren't here to tell that story. So I would have been the only one - able to say, yeah, I went down shooting. But I didn't. I did not."

� On whether she was bothered about how her rescue was portrayed by the military: "It does that they used me as a way to symbolize all this stuff. Yeah, it's wrong. I don't know why they filmed it, or why they say the things they, you know. All I know was that I was in that hospital hurting. I needed help. I wanted out of there. It didn't matter to me if they would have came in shirts and blank guns, it wouldn't have mattered to me, I wanted out of there."

Why does Private Lynch hate America?

Howie the Putz links to this article on John Kerry's purchase of blog ads.

Not only is Roger Ailes happy to sell advertising space to any interested candidate, we will even refer you to a qualified mental health professional in your area at no extra charge.

Persecution Simplex

The Virgin Ben believes there was a "witch hunt" conducted against the American right after the Oklahoma City Bombing.

"After Rabin's death, the witch hunt shifted into high gear. The Israeli right wing found itself in a position akin to that of the American right wing after the Oklahoma City bombing. Eight years later, the madness has not ceased. The government has shut down the radio station Arutz Sheva, a right-wing news service; actions are underway to shut down Arutz Sheva's Internet site as well."

Either Benny Boy is talking about the "persecution" of Tim McVeigh and Terry Nichols, or he's found his way into Ga Ga's stash again.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed a decline in quantity at this site over the past week. (A decline in quality would be impossible.) Events have conspired against regular blogging over the last few days, but this site should be back to full speed by tomorrow.

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Remainders of the Day

While visiting a souless corporate chain bookstore this week, I saw Savage Weiner's book remaindered for $5.99. And it didn't look like there were too many takers. Several of Bill Bennett's tomes have also been spotted for sale at rock-bottom prices, where they will sit until they are shipped to hazardous waste dumps and cogeneration facilities.

Kitty Parker-Stalin

Buzzflash, Counterspin Central and Atrios have already commented on this, but it's certainly worth piling on. The persistent vegetative conservative, Kitty Parker, has accepted the torch from old Joe Stalin. Earlier today, her column read:

Miller is not alone, though some are more sanguine when it comes to evaluating the roster of contenders. Here's a note I got recently from a friend and former Delta Force member, who has been observing American politics from the trenches: "These bastards like Clark and Kerry and that incipient ass, Dean, and Gephardt and Kucinich and that absolute mental midget Sharpton, race baiter, should all be lined up and shot."

Nailed for endorsing the assassanation of nine Americans, Kitty P. changed "shot" to slapped."

There's only one word for Parker's conduct: Stalinesque.

Those who wish to see Parker slapped -- rhetorically, although Kitty would say it's okay to slap her literally -- for endorsing such vile rhetoric, can contact at Parker's home paper, the Orlando Sentinel.