Toeing The Lyin'

It must be tough to be Dick Morris. No R will hire you to perform your chosen profession, political consultant, because you worked for President Clinton and paid big money to lick the athlete's foot fungus from the soles of a prostitute. No D will hire you because you worked for Trent Lott and Jesse Helms and paid big money to lick the athlete's foot fungus from the soles of a prostitute. With disclosure laws, no sane pol or PAC would even pay you under the table for a consult. Even Payless Shoe Source wouldn't hire you, due to liability issues.

Your only remaining career option is to sell personal tales, true or not, concerning President and Senator Clinton to the wingnut media. As soon as you exhaust those stories, your only source of income dries up. And the longer the President is out of office, every new tale will have people asking "why did he wait so long to tell that one, if it's true?"

Then there's the difficulty in keeping your stories straight. As Joe Conason points out, Dickie Footjoy has now told three versions of an encounter with Bill Clinton, and admits that the version he told in a 1997 book was false. So you have zero credibility.

You are now just one sorry-ass Dick.

(Link via pandagon.net.)