Clowntime is over

Roger's back, and yay for that. While I certainly appreciate his letting me post here in his absence, doing so has always made me feel like one of those people who rush to fill an empty seat during the broadcast of the Academy Awards. No one tunes in to watch some waiter from Encino sit down.

But before the band plays me off, I'd like to thank Roger for letting me post here. It was an honor and a thrill. Thanks too to my fellow seat-fillers and new friends Ron B. and Kikuchiyo Jones, who also did what they could to keep things interesting around here. And thanks to you, readers, for your suggestions and comments, both kind and otherwise.

I now return to my home blog, Yazoo Street Scandal. Please drop by if you have the time.

Better Dead Than Red

I have returned from my humanitarian mission to the Red States, more convinced than ever that those political subdivisions would make nice parking lots. I got back late last night and am still recovering from the century lag.

But before I crawl to bed, I'd like to give a sincere thank you to Ron B., Anthony Cartouche and Kikuchiyo Jones for blogging in my interminable absence. If they ever need anything, they should know I've got their backs. And I hope they'll all come back for a curtain call, so they can plug their blogs, websites, causes, candidates, worthless crap they're trying to unload on eBay or whatever else they've got.

I see that Ted Stevens, Monica Goodling, Kyle Sampson, Bob Novak and John "The Fudge Haus Warrior" McCain have been up to no good in my absence as well. Once I get the extra codeine out of my system, I'll be posting again at full strength.

Milbank, You Fucking Blockhead

Here's Skull and Bones Dana at his best(debatable, of course):


This is Dana Milbank at his worst, sounding like David Brooks:

Barack Obama has long been his party’s presumptive nominee. Now he’s becoming its presumptuous nominee.

Fresh from his presidential-style world tour, during which foreign leaders and American generals lined up to show him affection, Obama settled down to some presidential-style business in Washington yesterday. He ordered up a teleconference with the (current president’s) Treasury secretary, granted an audience to the Pakistani prime minister and had his staff arrange for the chairman of the Federal Reserve to give him a briefing. Then, he went up to Capitol Hill to be adored by House Democrats in a presidential-style pep rally.

Along the way, he traveled in a bubble more insulating than the actual president’s. Traffic was shut down for him as he zoomed about town in a long, presidential-style motorcade….
The 5:20 TBA turned out to be his adoration session with lawmakers in the Cannon Caucus Room, where even committee chairmen arrived early, as if for the State of the Union. Capitol Police cleared the halls — just as they do for the actual president. The Secret Service hustled him in through a side door — just as they do for the actual president.

Inside, according to a witness, he told the House members, "This is the moment . . . that the world is waiting for," adding: "I have become a symbol of the possibility of America returning to our best traditions."

Meanwhile...

BUT A DEMOCRATIC SOURCE SAYS: “His entire point of that riff was that the campaign IS NOT about him. [The Post] left out the important first half of the sentence, which was along the lines of: ‘It has become increasingly clear in my travel, the campaign, that the crowds, the enthusiasm, 200,000 people in Berlin, is not about me at all. It’s about America. I have just become a symbol … .”

Make Yale proud, Dana. Besides, fact-checking is so passe in modern journalism. It isn't his fault.

Who?

Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine appears to be emerging as the frontrunner in the race to be named Barack Obama’s Democratic vice presidential running mate.

Kaine, a former Richmond mayor, would satisfy many of the criteria Obama is seeking in a running mate. He is an outside-the-Beltway type, suggesting he represents “change,” Obama’s key campaign theme. He also is very popular in an important potential swing state this year, and could attract Catholics, Hispanics and working-class voters.

And of course Fox has to stick the knife in:

However, Kaine has no foreign policy background to speak of nor has he achieved any major or notable accomplishment while governor.

Know what, Fox? It's about motherfucking time we had some people who are going to concentrate on domestic issues. As for this claim that Kaine hasn't done anything, perhaps they could engage in some real journalism and go to his website. Assholes.

Let's Clear The Air A Little Here

Let's begin with a few testimonials about your experiences and firsthand knowledge of the community known as Unitarian Universalism. My experience with them was several years ago. It's kind of a hippie church- the director greeted me while planting some seeds in Birkenstocks-and his wife had cornrow hair, dressed in mountain climbing gear. All faiths were welcome, they said-including those who have no faith, like me. This can hardly be considered "Christian". What I do know is that they have Christian values-charity, good will, and fellowship of man. They are the only all-inclusive "church" that I know of. Homosexuals are welcomed with open arms.

So, does anyone have a UU experience that they'd like to share?

Next-let's discuss atheism. How many violent atheists have you met?

(crickets)

Most of us are progressive, intellectual, curious and mild-mannered. There are even conservative atheists, and they are indeed intellectual, just in a backwards way. I have never, ever met an atheist who was a violent person. There may be some, because there are psychopaths in every walk of life-I'm sure Christians wouldn't like it if we thought that doctor killers were representative of their faith.

Here's a secret: Atheists usually have Christian values.

They just don't think they can be derived only from God. There are volumes of philosophy dating back to the Greeks that establish morality as a human issue. One of the chief complaints that atheists have about Christians is they talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. Many prominent church leaders are combative and hostile and make enemies out of anyone who is not a Judeo-Christian. I am part of a Freethinkers society where pagans, wiccans, atheists, pantheists and the like all get together and fellowship, often at a park. Never will you hear anyone proselytize their beliefs. Like UU, it's an acceptance thing. We like you because you are moral, and that's about the extent of it. If you are a dogmatic dick and start arguing with people, you won't be welcome for very long.

Now, one of PWs commenters thinks that atheists are crazy whackjobs who hate Christians. This is never true. I personally believe that Jesus is just alright with me; I think he was a great philosopher. I do not believe he's the son of God, though. Besides, worshiping Christ is about the last thing he wanted; true, he had acolytes, but they were there to assist him and be witness to his actions.

Let's put a question to him-why would our commenter come to the defense of a church who violates several precepts of Christianity, one whose members sometimes are not Christian? Why would a nutjob pick a UU church to show Christians a lesson? Is that person an atheist when most violence is anathema to nonbelievers?

One more thing. What is the troll policy here? I prefer engagement once the name-calling is done, but if troll feeding is verboten here, I'll drop this immediately.

UPDATE: The Rude Pundit also has experienced the same thing I have at Unitarian gatherings.

UPDATE 2: Kos diarist Elrod finds a KPD news conference that alleges that the shooter wanted to kill "liberals and gays". And, the dude left a four page manifesto on the subject. Manifesto unpublished at this time. So basically we have a hate crime. I won't go so far as to say the man was a Christian-let's just leave it as pyscho-fuckheadedness. Oh, by the way, the diarist is the first person I am aware of that has had firsthand experience of the UU church. He's a member. So far, that is the only unimpeachable source I have seen so far, but I'm sure conservatives have their own narrative, which I suspect will be debunked soon.

UPDATE 3: Now we are getting somewhere. Neighbor says shooter considered himself a "Confederate" and believer in the "Old South". I think we can tell where this is heading and who this clown really was.

UPDATE 4: Look, I'm just trying to bolster my case, thus disproving PW commenter serr8ed's insistence that UU churches are solely Christian. Sara at Orcinus is a Unitarian who knows that a UU person did not do this, and what a Unitarian is and what they are not.

UPDATE 5: Still want to defend the Church, serr8ed? They started a chapter of the ACLU. I think it's safe to say your version of the killings is in shreds.

UPDATE 6: I think that our pal serr8ed won't be back for another beating. This man has no dick.

No Time for Sergeants

I'm really having trouble finding out whether Commander in Chief George W. Bush found time on his visit to Germany on 6/11/2008 to visit the wounded at Landstuhl.

He broke them, he should visit them.

Warm Fuzzy Time

This hits you right in the heart.

SEATTLE - Decades after a World War II cover-up at Fort Lawton in Seattle, 28 African-American veterans received apologies and honorable discharges in a ceremony at the same spot where they were wrongly convicted years ago.

On Aug. 14, 1944, a riot broke out on the post. Black soldiers in segregated barracks were accused of sparking the violence due to resentment over treatment of Italian prisoners of war. An Italian POW, Guglielmo Olivotto, was later found hanging dead on wires in a post obstacle course.

Forty-three black soldiers were tried in the largest court-martial of World War II. Of those, 28 were found guilty of rioting and sentenced to as many as 25 years in prison. Three were also convicted of manslaughter.

When evidence emerged years later showing that the court-martial proceeding was grossly flawed and that the prosecutor had withheld critical evidence, the Army opened an investigation.

Based on the results of that probe, the Army overturned the convictions of all the black soldiers who were court-martialed.

Stick that in your pipe, Bill Cosby. That's integrity.

Shit You Don't Care About

My five-year old, out of the blue, reads. He gave us no clues that he knew most of the sounds in the alphabet and knows intuitively how to put the phonetics together. How did that happen? It's like the reading fairy came to visit yesterday.

I spent an hour, stunned as he read every word I put in front of him. Spines of books, cleaning products, food cans and jars-90% on target most of the time. He doesn't have his silent e and diphthongs in place yet, but I am one proud papa. I had nothing to do with his ability. I mean, I'd occasionally show him how to sound out words, but he doesn't just sound them out-he does it in his head, then completes the word in total.

To celebrate, here is Charlie singing The Dead Milkmen's "RC's Mom".

I Wish This Was Photoshopped

Paid For By John McCain 2008. I suck at resizing.

Does this look familiar...ah yes.

This Was Your Life

Pasty Goldstein, RIP 2001-2008


The 'dillo, RIP 2001-2008

In memoriam of one of the more unfunny wingnut bloggers (the harder one tries...), I will post what must be the definitive eulogy for the great Cock-Slapper. HTML Mencken, please come up and say a few kind words.

And Sadly, No! gets plenty of traffic, bitches. Not a one of Jeff's pedantic rants "measures" up to this vivisection.

Don't let the door

All things must pass: Jeff Goldstein has left Protein Wisdom.

This news came as quite a shock to me, as I had no idea that Protein Wisdom was still in operation.

So long, Jeff. You'll be missed.

By Pablo, Dan Collins, and Doreen. I doubt that anyone else will give a shit.

Disappointed

This may be harsh, but I think that a fair percentage of this song is apropos for what Barack Obama said about Iran.




Disappointed
Promises
Promises
Old tired
Worn out second hand sentences

Disappointed a few people
When friendship reared its ugly head
Disappointed a few people
Well, isn't that what friends are for
What are friends for

This erratic haphazard
Fluttering
This to-ing and fro-ing
Like a confused moth
The collusion
Illusion
And it's all ad infinitum

Again-Go Easy on Scottie

I have maintained for some time that Scott McLellan, although a shill for the White House, has the potential to be a whistleblower-not a significant one, but it's important to hear a renegade staffer confirm what we suspected:
On MSNBC’s Hardball last night, host Chris Matthews asked former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan if he saw “FOX television as a tool” to get the White House’s “message out” while he was in the Bush administration. “Certainly there were commentators and other, pundits at FOX News, that were useful to the White House,” replied McClellan, adding that they were given “talking points.”

Making a distinction between journalists like Brit Hume and commentators like Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly, McClellan admitted that “certainly” the White House used Fox News talking heads as “spokespeople” with “a script”.

McClellan later told MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann that “it was done frequently, especially on high-profile issues” and that Fox often gave the White House “its desired results.” Current Press Secretary Dana Perino would only tell Olbermann, “I’m not aware of that.”

I mean, what's she going to say? "Hey-you got us. Any other gotchas out there?" What a load off that would be. She'd probably cry.

Voila!

Leave it to Johnny McCain to fuck logic by inferring that a) the surge is too complimacated for the plebes to understand and then b)Bush's executive order to offshore drill here is what caused the drop in gas prices. As Tom says:

Isn’t this great? Do you realize what this means??? Just think of the incredible implications of McCain’s revelation. We don’t need to drill for oil any more!. All we have to do is say we’re going to, and — Presto! Lower prices!

Even Peroxide Perino is a little mystified by his assertions:

The White House didn't go that far. Presidential spokeswoman Dana Perino said the price drop also could reflect diminished demand.

"I don't know if we fully deserve the credit," Perino said.

Does McCain in his quieter moments wonder why that goddamn albatross is hung squarely around his neck?

Excellent timing of that shot, no?

Weiner Update

There have been consequences for Weiner regarding his suggestion that autistic kids just need their ass kicked a little.

WHK AM/1420, the only Cleveland-area station carrying Savage's radio talk show, is break ing its contract with Savage's syndicator, Talk Radio Net work, said Mark Jaycox, who manages the Cleveland stations under the Salem Com munications corporate um brella. WHK is owned by Cali fornia-based Sa lem Communi cations.

"This guy's a knucklehead, and I want to get rid of him," Jaycox said.

Jaycox decided to yank Savage after receiving about two dozen calls and e-mails from parents of autistic children, who said they were hurt by the remarks.

“I had one dad almost cry,” Jaycox said.

How many near misses is this jagoff going to squeak by on before everyone realizes he's the Gordon Prothero of radio?

Seroquel: Freud's Friend

Anyone here on Seroquel? If you are, you're still asleep, probably. And, you had a fucked up dream again, which you most likely remember. Mine was a little fuzzy, but I clearly remember working at a supermarket, but for some reason I was wearing my sergeant stripes on my Army uniform. I got demoted(never happened) to Specialist to make room for some other guy to lead the produce section. This really bugged me, so I wrote a long essay on some arcane message about...something. We had a meeting, and while the floor manager read my essay, behind a wall was playing the Dead Kennedys really fucking loud. I have no idea why, probably listening to Lard yesterday. This is the second time that my old job has crept into my distorted ass dreams, and I don't know why I am still hung up on my experiences there.

When I first strated on Seroquel, the dreams were super vivid, complicated, and long. The first one involved Ray Wise, and he was a born again Christian who was really getting on my nerves in some hotel I lived in. I pushed one of his minions and he fell down, causing a huge wound. I leapt across a thin ledge of vending machines to get to a pharmacy. Bernadette Peters was the pharmacist, looking quite leggy in a white lab coat. She gave me an ice pack for the dude.

Next, I wound up in jail with Ed Asner, playing a game with lunchmeat as the, er, "pieces". You can read the unabridged version of these dreams here and here.

I have Googled "seroquel dreams" and this is evidently a phenomenon. Most peoples' dreams are nightmares; mine are just bizarre. If you are on this fucked up drug, tell us about it. I certainly don't want to tell anyone else...namely my doctors.

Psst

I have a confession to make. Is anyone familiar with the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler? Yeah, I was a member. I had to back off that crowd when they thought that the WTC memorial was in the shape of a fucking Muslim Red Crescent, seen here:


If you are wondering what I was thinking, I can't honestly tell you. I fell for the Fox News line; I was blinded by revenge and righteousness.

This is an example of me having my head so far up my ass I tasted shit off my teeth. Anyway, if you are inclined, go have a little ruffhouse with my friends there. Misha has a respectable "hands off" approach to comments, so you can have a little fun, and he doesn't take himself very seriously. Tell him I said hi. Now I'm practically a socialist. Strange days.

Ca Plane (Aman)Pour Moi

How clever of me to not notice! Fuck, I don't know what that means. Anyone? Did I even get that right? Strange and terrible memories from 120 Minutes. Anyway, archcon Nikolas Sarkozy has an "Oh merde" moment when Christiane Amanpour boxes him into a corner re his shorthand for black rioters in France as le scum:



He's right about our treatment of blacks, though.

UPDATE: I have neglected to provide readers with the necessary understanding of something called the Plastic Bertrand. Sonic Youth did a cool cover of this. Thanks to ifthethunderdontgetya for the tip.

Comics Time

My old Amnesty Blogger Day pal Dugan doodles off this patch of crosshatch:

Retroactive Reviews

Sure, why not go back to yesteryear, when rock was king and poseurs died a horrible death at the hands of the consume-a-tariat.

Sweet Jesus, what fuckin' decade am I talking about?

Look. I don't know Duke Ellington from Doug Martsch. I have spent 20 years buying records and I am still as square as they come. I have not entered that phase yet where say, Killing Joke, free jazz, or Delta blues has any fascination for me-but I am enough of a rock dilettante to know what good shit is. I need to smoke more marijuana-and then even the Spice Girls will open new vistas as I go thru the smoke rings of my mind. Whatever.

I just got Big Star's Third from Amazon. Took me a fucking month to get it, and when it arrived its jewel case was cracked off. Now I have three parts of the damned CD-how fitting. I have all three now, and I can safely say that the 'Mats were right when they said they couldn't go very far without a little Big Star.

Big Star purists would agree with me, no doubt(doubtful) that Radio City was their peak. You could tell that Chilton was falling apart, and it showed in his arrangements. You can feel the band reeling best in "Life Is White", and I am a sucker for commercial suicide(see Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" for a good example. I bought it, I admit it. I cannot say that I have listened to all four sides. Until I get some fabulous dank, I imagine I will not). I don't care how manic I get(yo, bipolar in the house, say ho).

So, on to Sister Lovers. It is vastly overrated. Most of the album is unfinished, save for "Thank You Friends", which some have interpreted as a backhanded compliment to all of his pals. I don't agree, I regard it as Alex's swan song. Well, not exactly-"Like Flies On Sherbet" has got to win Best Fucking Example Of A Shattered Ego Recording His Artistic Demise. Although he beat the Cramps to punkabilly, and wound up producing, strangely enough, the Cramps' first record.

All things considered, it is a good album. It brims with Jerry Lee-like piano plunking, which Big Star always had in their arsenal. If you are depressed, you will grok this puppy. "Holocaust" is the record's nadir, where Chilton sings about dead parents and the like. You get an odd cover of the Velvet's "Femme Fatale", and some more of that echoey piano in "Jesus Christ". "Kangaroo" has shards of feedback roiling through it, which is Alex's first nod to punk/metal. Alex's thin, reedy, nasal voice seems to be crying out that he wish he could quit recording this travesty.

Let me take this space to highly recommend "Set", otherwise titled "Loose Shoes Tight Pussy". Chilton is back in form, doing obscure covers in one take. Easily one of my favorite records.

I can stop this whorship of nostalgia any time. I was but a twee lad in the seventies (thank whatever), so I don't claim to understand the ethos of the time. I did, however, cut my teeth on the Beatles "White Album"... fave song? You guessed it-Revolution #9. I interspersed this with "Cookie Monster's Greatest Hits" and "Big Bird Sings!" and of course, everyone had by decree to own Rumors, at least one Billy Joel album, Frampton Comes Alive, Boston, the Disco Duck single, and Rhapsody In Blue by the Big Apple Orchestra. Maybe, with the right pot, I will break out my "Superfriends" 45 case and go back to a happier time.