Up the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences

In a blatant attempt to steal traffic from alicublog, Roger Ailes announces its predictions for the winners of the 2015 Academy Awards, aka the "Oscars."  To make this feat seem even more impressive, I have seen almost none of the films or performances nominated, and my predictions are based almost solely on my intimate knowledge of show business phonies and accounting fraud.

(By the way, Oscar, Oscars, and gold-plated vibrator are in the public domain and can be used by anyone for any purpose, at any time. For free. Legally.  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.)

Best Mot Picture:   Boyhood
Best Director:  Richard Linklater
Best Actress:   Julianne Moore
Best Actor:      Michael Keaton
Best Supp Actress:  Patricia Arquette
Best Supp Actor:  J.K. Simmons
Best Orig Screenplay:  The Grand Budapest Hotel
Best Adapted Screenplay:  The Theory of Everything
Best Cinematography:  Birdman
Best Animated Feature:  Big Hero 6
Best Foreign Lang Film:   Leviathan
Best Documentary:   Last Days in Vietnam
Best Everything Else:  One of the nominees 

You could take these predictions to the bank, except the banks are closed on Sunday.