Corrections and Amplifications

From the Wall Street Journal, 10/29/13:

An earlier version of this post stated that Mr. Furley's wife had a taxpayer-funded abortion.  Mr. Furley was unmarried. Further, the Wall Street Journal has not been able to confirm independently the claim that Larry Dallas obtained roofies through Medicare Part D.  We regret being caught.

Roger's FAQ

Does the Affordable Care Act cover the Thighmaster?

Apparently not.

Your Articles of Incorporation Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore

Here's one part of Obamacare that's working perfectly.

Suck on it, libertarian fundies.

(Via LG&M.)

Governor P90XXXL

Chris C. meets Shaun T.:

Among [Governor] Christie’s efforts, Kulkarni certifies, is a healthy diet and regular exercise, doing aerobic and resistance-training exercise four days a week for an hour at a time.

After the February lap band surgery, Christie “has been losing weight steadily,” according to Kulkarni.

Christie/Ryan '16, the Insanity ticket. Lose the weight, keep the hate.

Correction:  I am reliably informed that it is Shaun T., not Shawn T.  It still rhymes with auntie.  I regret the error.

Update:  There does appear to be a dispute about Mr. T.'s height.  Per Google:

Shaun T

Shaun Thompson, better known as Shaun T, is an American fitness trainer and choreographer best known for his Insanity and Hip-Hop Abs home fitness programs for adults and children. He measures 6 feet 1 inch tall and weighs 175 pounds.

Wikipedia

Born: May 2, 1978 (age 35),

Deptford Township, NJ

Height: 5' 11" (1.80 m)

Education: Rowan University

Roger's Plug and Play

When you do your Christmas shopping for dear ol' Rog, be sure not to get me Critical Mass by James Wolcott (491 pages. Doubleday).  It will already be in my hot little hands and undergoing its third reading by Black Friday. 

I've also asked the local libraries to order copies, so I can read them and keep my personal copy of the tome in anal-retentive pristine condition.

Be sure to ask your local bookseller for "Wolcott's Critical Mass," lest she try to palm off the latest Sara Paretsky novel or a bicycle ride around San Francisco instead of the real goods.

Comfort Food For The Smug

At least it's not Jonah Goldberg's Boston baked beans.

Taft Punk

Every blogger and her sister has had fun at the expense of Peggy Nooners and her exclusive interview with Bob Taft's Wikipedia page.  I cannot improve on that ridicule, but I have discovered several transcription errors in Noonan's recapitulation of their Socratic exchange.  

Herewith, the record straight:  

Senator?

Oh, Christ. Not this loon. 

Go away, I'm dead. I have no powers of thought or speech.

Why did they call you "Mr. Republican"?

I was a powerful Republican Senator. You may have read about that on my Wikipedia page.

What is the purpose of a party?

To amass and wield political power. A political party is not a fucking car.

He feels more sympathy toward the tea party than the establishment. 

That's not a question. What kind of interview is this?

The establishment?

That's not even a complete sentence. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Of course I side with the establishment. My father was the fucking President. I was in politics my whole adult life. I supported big business over labor, and government activism in support of big business. I wasn't some Bible-humping halfwit like Sarah Palin or Rand Paul. I wouldn't let a bunch of amateurs and cranks tell me how to run the G.O.P.  And I wouldn't stoop to piss on Andrew Breitbart.

What should the establishment do?

You're not listening, Nooners. You're going to write some idiotic article where you claim to speak for me and characterize me as a Tea Partier, aren't you? You need to be institutionalized. 

How will a big merge happen?

I thought you had a kid years ago. I'm not a gynecologist, for Christ's sake.

See you in Hell.

You'll Never Write Anything Better Than Lanark

Happy 10th anniversary to The 100 Greatest Novels of All Time.

Don't even think about writing one of the 100 greatest novels of all time; they've already been written.

The RepubliKlan Party WIll Rise Again

Ted Cruz and Sharia Palin have joined Krazy Kounsellor Klayman and Confederate flag waving wingnuts outside the White House outside the White House to show "Respect for Our Vets."

I would do so, but geography prevents me from pissing on a Confederate's grave at present.

Update:  Who knew that a couple hundred racists and three carnival freaks = a Million Veterans?  I blame the New Math.

Hot Cross Buns

Best cross ever, from today's New York Times crossword:

2 Down:  Like a control freak (4 letters)

15 Across:  Trailing (9 letters)

Update (10/19) :   Answers:

         A
        INTHEREAR
         A
         L

Update (10/25):  This was the highlight of my month --  Will Shortz on buttseks in The Grey Lady.  I guess it's just me.

Of Being Sick and Tired

Spent the last week away from the computer on doctors' advice.  But I'm back on my feet, for the time being at least.

If I disappear again, send Ted Cruz's search party.

Ask Questions Later

This is a question that I haven't seen a good answer to:  Why was the woman who allegedly tried to illegally pass a security checkpoint near the White House shot and killed?

I'm not saying the shooting was wrong; I'm saying I haven't seen the justification for it.  She injured people and endangered people when she fled the scene, no question. It would seem that shooting at the driver of a speeding vehicle, one which has an infant inside, also risks endangering people. The question should be: were the lives of police officers who shot her or anyone else's life immediately in danger, such that the shooting was the best (if not only) way to prevent further loss of life or injury to innocent bystanders.

If the following account is correct, it appears the threat had been eliminated before the woman was shot:

Several minutes later, officers appeared to have the woman cornered in front of the western side of the Capitol facing the National Mall. But as officers, with their weapons drawn, approached Ms. Carey’s car, she rammed it into reverse.

Officers tried to dodge out of the way, but the Infiniti struck a police car and raced up Constitution Avenue, where it crashed into a barrier.

What occurred next was not clear. Ms. Carey managed to get out of the car, and was shot by several officers. According to a law enforcement official, she was not armed, and it was not known whether she presented an immediate danger.

Was not known to whom, at what time?  By the official when he was asked by the reporter, or by the officers who shot her right before they shot her?

I can see where it might be reasonable to assume that the woman had violent intentions even after she left her disabled vehicle.  But was there a reasonable concern that she had the ability to commit violence once she outside her car?

Dropped By A Deuce

The star of "The Hot Chick" didn't leave the Democratic Party, the Democratic Party left the star of "The Hot Chick."  Rob Schnider, the actor known for making "makin' copies" the catch phrase of the 1990s is no longer a Democrat, because Adam Sandler prefers working on the East Coast big government has ruined his movie career:

“The last time I made a movie in California was seven years ago,” he said. “And that’s because we’re not being competitive. I own a vitamin company with my friend and we moved out of state because of overregulation. It isn’t helping businesses.”

The Democratic Party's also the reason Rob's castmates Phil Hartman and Chris Farley haven't made a movie in seven years, amirite?  At least Victoria Jackson's still got a film career.

Rob fails to mention where his failed sitcom, his work on "Betty White's Off their Rockers" and his cartoon voiceover work were venued.  I'm guessing Alabama.

But Schneider isn't a social conservative yet.  Like Sarah Palin, he still loves the dick jokes:

I went to my doctor and told him "my penis is burning." He said, "That means somebody is talking about it."

Bill O'Reilly on line one, Robmeister.  Strike while the iron is hot!