Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Bottom of the Barrel

Correction (3/22): When I read the Mediaite post, I read the quoted passage as referring to "I" (meaning the author, Tommy Christopher), and not "I.E." an individual Christopher was referring to. Although reference in Christopher's post could have been changed after my post was written, it is possible, and more likely, that I misread it. Thank you to John Borrego for pointing this out.

When last we saw Tommy Christopher, the clown who plays a liberal at Mediaite, he was exchanging e-mails about Anthony Weiner's dick with non-existent teens. Somehow this activity proved he was a better parent than Markos Molitsas, who wasn't exchanging e-mails about non-existent teens about Anthony Wiener's dick. Now, Tommy's found a way to make the tragic shooting of Trayvon Martin all about Tommy:

If I had met up with George Zimmerman (and Zimmerman somehow managed to avoid having that 9mm shoved up his ass), how different would this story be? What if he was shot dead, and instead of holding Skittles, he was holding a couple of joints? No grieving parents, no angelic file photo, no gut-wrenching cries for help.

That's mighty white of Tommy, acknowledging the slim possibility that Zimmerman might "somehow" have avoided being sodomized by Tommy if he'd tried that shit on him. Zimmerman might have managed to murder a healthy and intelligent seventeen year old, but there's no way he could have taken a developmentally disabled, chain smoking lard ass blogger twice his age. Here on earth, it's much easier (but equally pointless) to imagine that Mediaite, if not the world, would be missing one subliterate blogger who defines tragedy as not being the center of attention.

Tommy also previews his material for the cable teevee guest shot which will never come. "To be outraged by the conduct of the Sanford Police, who took Zimmerman's claim of self-defense at face value, without even asking 'From what? Hollow-point Skittles? Full Metal Snapple?'" rim-shot! It's funny because a young man died holding snacks, says Tommy.

P.S. to Tommy: Those photographs of Martin were not "file photos" because Martin was not a public figure or a media whore or a blogging wanna-be media whore. They were family treasures kept by humans who cared for persons other than themselves.

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