Wednesday, December 09, 2009

A White Christmas

The usual bedwetters are up in arms that the New York Times has published an supplement pandering to consumers which highlights on one page "gifts created for and by people of color this holiday season." These automatic splutterers are outraged that non-whites not only manufacture and purchase merchandise, but also are allowed to recieve and enjoy gifts.

Said bedwetters have not yet turned their fauxtrage to the National Review's promotion of merchandise to pale parents which contains the following colorful dialogue:

“Yasser. Fokes dunner w’at bin yit, let ’lone w’at gwinter be. Niggers is niggers now, but de time wuz w’en we ’uz all niggers tergedder.”

“When was that, Uncle Remus?”

“Way back yander. In dem times we ’uz all an us black; we ’uz all niggers tergedder, en ’cordin’ ter all de ’counts w’at I years fokes ’uz gittin’ ’long ’bout ez well in dem days ez dey is now. But atter ’w’ile de news come dat dere wuz a pon’ er water some’rs in de naberhood, w’ich ef dey’d git inter dey’d be wash off nice en w’ite, en den one un urn, he fine de place en make er splange inter de pon’, en come out w’ite ez a town gal. En den, bless grashus! w’en de fokes seed it, dey make a break fer de pon’, en dem w’at wuz de soopless, dey got in fus’ en dey come out w’ite; en dem w’at wuz de nex’ soopless, dey got in nex’, en dey come out merlatters; en dey wuz sech a crowd un um dat dey mighty nigh use de water up, w’ich w’en dem yuthers come long, de morest dey could do wuz ter paddle about wid der foots en dabble in it wid der han’s. Dem wuz de niggers, en down ter dis day dey ain’t no w’ite ’bout a nigger ’ceppin de pa’ms er der han’s en de soles er der foot.”

Just like the gifts in the Times, the Complete Tales of Uncle Remus can be given by or to anyone. Unlike the Times selections, Uncle Remus will be repulsive to people of every hue.

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