Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Who's The Bigger Dumbfuck, Frank Gaffney, Jnr. or A.J. Strata?

When a wingnut quotes Abraham Lincoln, the quote is almost certain to be bogus.

Frank Gaffney Jnr. starts today's column in the Moonie Times with the following:

Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.

-- President Abraham Lincoln

Gullible chuzzlewit A.J. Strata then humps the "wonderful quote" like a mad dog, asking "Now who is going to argue with Abraham Lincoln?" and stating "Alliances and connections to our brothers in the South were not a big surprise or limited, so Lincoln's comments must be seen in his desire TO END the war quickly to stop the bloodshed." (Whatever the fuck that means.)

But, of course, Lincoln didn't speak or write like a third-rate blogger with his pants around his ankles after watching 24. The quote is entirely fabricated, and it originated in another Moonie rag, Insight. And these morons didn't even spend the two seconds needed to confirm the quote is bogus.

But the facts don't really matter to these types. They lied to start the war, they lie to keep the war going and they'll still be lying after the war is ended.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Twofer Tuesday Edition

SAN DIEGO – Poway defense contractor Brent Wilkes and former high-ranking CIA official Kyle "Dusty" Foggo, childhood friends from San Diego who got entangled in the Randy "Duke" Cunningham corruption scandal, were indicted Tuesday by a federal grand jury.

U.S. Attorney Carol Lam announced the indictments at an afternoon press conference, called the charges against the two men "breathtaking in scope."

The jury returned 11 counts against Foggo and Wilkes that include conspiracy, wire fraud, conflict of interest and money laundering. It charges Foggo with using his seniority and influence within the CIA to direct the awarding of contracts to Wilkes, his lifelong friend.

A second indictment, which included 26 counts, names Wilkes and New York-based mortgage banker John T. Michael, who co-owned a mortgage company that provided loans to Cunningham. It charges Wilkes with conspiracy, wire fraud, bribery of a public official and money laundering.


Court documents allege that Wilkes provided more than $700,000 to Cunningham in exchange for the former congressman corruptly influencing the appropriation of funds and the execution of government contracts to benefit Wilkes' company, Poway-based ADCS Inc.

Michael, 35, is charged with a single charge of obstructing justice, accused of trying to influence and impede a federal grand jury investigation by providing misleading and false testimony regarding Wilkes' role in paying off the $500,000 second mortgage on Cunningham's Rancho Santa Fe home.


The indictment alleges that Wilkes paid bribes to Cunningham in the form of cash, checks, lavish meals, trips, lodging, corporate jet travel, boats and prostitution.

The indictment says that on two occasions Wilkes provided prostitutes for himself and the congressman on two consecutive evenings on a lavish Hawaiian trip.


Foggo accepted tens of thousands of dollars in meals, gifts and vacations, and a standing offer of a senior executive position with ADCS. Foggo disclosed none of this to the CIA, according to the indictment.


Wilkes was a big contributor to Republican lawmakers who developed a series of businesses that specialized in landing federal contracts, with ADCS as his flagship.

Corruption, war profiteering and whores. Foggo and Wilkes are the embodiment of today's G.O.P.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Rape For Thee, But Not For Me

Does Professor Steven Bainbridge care about prison rape, or just about prison rape when the victim is a privileged endomorph like himself?

Linking to blogger citing an Ezra Klein post on the subject, Bainbridge states that prison rape is

an issue on which I have been writing for some time, as it is an important factor in evaluating the accelerating criminalization of agency costs.

In other words, prison rape should be considered in determining to whether prosecute CEOs, because a corporate head who's merely negligent or greedy but didn't defraud shareholders might be convicted and thereafter raped. Bainbridge also bemoans the fact that "when it comes to corporate executives, many people seem to see prison rape as an appropriate sanction."

Perhaps the Professor is equally concerned about the rape of dope dealers or burglars or of those falsely accused of crimes who are convicted because they can't afford competent counsel or they're a victim of corrupt cops. But I haven't seen that post. (The other posts the Prof links to criticize the prosecution of executives rather than the proliferation of prison rape.)

What I have seen is this:

Put bluntly, Dennis Kozlowski faces spending the rest of his life worrying about prison rape.

If we were confident that prosecutors could tell the difference between corporate criminality and mere bad corporate governance, and we were confident that prosecutors would content themselves with going after only the former, we might not care if the Kozlowskis of the world spent their days looking over their shoulders (so to speak). Yet, as the Kozlowski story illustrates, it's very hard to tell the difference between criminality and bad governance.

Indeed, as corporate law has long recognized, it can be difficult to tell the difference between good and bad corporate governance. As corporate law also has long recognized, there are serious costs associated with imposing high sanctions on executives.

So Bainbridge isn't really concerned with prison rape itself as much as the indirect economic consequences caused by risk-averse CEOs who place their own interest in not being raped ahead of the bottom line. And if you're not a top exec, whether guilty or innocent, don't hold your breath waiting for the Professor to champion your cause.

The Hack Strikes Back

From deep in the bowels of his online column (keep scrolling down), the Howie the Hack strikes back:

By the way, the Air Pelosi story seems to have crashed of its own weight. Once I found out that the House sergeant-at-arms had requested her plane--and I don't know why she didn't get that out right away--I agreed with Tony Snow that the whole thing was "silly." For those who wonder why I quoted two new and obscure bloggers as criticizing the speaker--along with David Frum, who kind of defended her--I often try to look for average bloggers in their pajamas (or dorm rooms or wherever) rather than just stick with the top 100. That doesn't give them the same weight as Instapundit or Kos or Power Line or the HuffPost, but it's another way of taking the cyberpulse.

Oh, really?

You say that:

Once I found out that the House sergeant-at-arms had requested her plane -- and I don't know why she didn't get that out right away -- I agreed with Tony Snow that the whole thing was "silly."

Maybe you should read your own hackery, How. Because on Friday morning, you wrote:

Pelosi has gone on the offensive, saying that Pentagon officials leaked the dispute for partisan reasons and that the negotiating was done not by her but by the House sergeant-at-arms. The flap made the network newscasts last night, although Tony Snow pointedly declined to pile on, calling the story "silly."

I don't see any agreement with Snow there, Howie. After you already knew that the Sergeant-at-Arms had requested the plane, and after Pelosi had gotten that fact out. (The Sergeant-at-Arms' statement had been out at least 14 hours by the time Howie's column went online.)

It's hard out there for ho, what with the internets and all. But just keep on lyin', and we'll keep on calling you on your lies.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

It's funny because it's true.

(Thanks to Liars for Bush for the link.)

The Psychotic Method

Professor Ann Althouse invents a revolutionary pedagogical technique.

I fear Ann's employment as the Larouche '08 campaign blogger is now in jeopardy.

Shut Up, Memory

Can't get your expert witness's testimony into evidence at trial? Well, then just get it into the Washington Post and hope for the best.

I have no trouble with a newspaper reporting on events of relevance to an ongoing trial, even if those matters are inadmissible at trial. It's up to the judge to ensure that jurors don't read extraneous material and up to the jurors to follow the court's instructions. But perhaps the Post's readers should be told that the court found the defense's purported expert memory testimony to be a waste of time after the prosecutor demolished the expert's credibility. Perhaps Linton Weeks just forget that.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Why We'll Never Have A President Named Jack, Bill, Dick, Jerry, Jimmy or Abe

The rest home for aging male Beltway dead-enders known as "The Politico" is taking the G.O.P.'s anti-Obama talking points out for a test drive, and putting them in the mouths of nameless "Democratic" blowhards:

Even his name offers fodder for the critics. When he was growing up, his family, friends and teachers called him "Barry." Then as a young man, he started insisting on "Barack," explaining in a memoir published in 1995 that his grandfather was a Muslim and that it means "blessed" in Arabic. His dad, who was Kenyan, had gone by "Barry" -- probably trying to fit in when he came to the States, his son figured.

What's in a name? A way for Mike Allen to pad a particularly pathetic -- and phony -- tale of Democratic infighting and dirty tricks. Somehow Abe Lincoln and Dick Nixon managed to overcome the earth-shattering relevation that their family and friends had nicknames for them, but they nevertheless chose to use their given name in professional matters.

Apart from such stupidity, the entire piece is a fraud. The title promises to take the reader "Inside the Coming Effort to Dismantle A Candidate," but the article doesn't even try to do that. The piece quotes nameless "top Democrat[s]," "Democratic strategists" and jes' plain ol' "Democrats"1 who aren't sure Obama can go the distance, and it maps out Obama's perceived weaknesses (with no new revelations). Yet the piece contains not one word about an actual effort or plan by an actual Dem rival to attack Obama on the grounds outlined in the piece. In other words, not one inside detail. Perhaps any or all of the Democratic candidates have $12 million budgeted for a series of Barry-centric attack ads2, but, if they do, you won't learn about that -- or any other actual Dem's strategy in Allen's piece.

More significantly, the piece contains not one word about the real and ongoing campaign by the G.O.P. media to portray Obama as an anti-American, radical Muslim indoctrinated at a madrassa and a phony Christian. The effort isn't coming; it has already started. Only Allen pretends not to notice.

1 Genuine Democrats who bear no resemblance whatsoever to Joe Lieberman toady Marshall Wittman, Pat Caddell and Mickey Kaus, respectively. Really.

2 My suggestion: Still shots of Obama, Dave Barry, Barry Sadler, Barry Manilow and .... dissolve to ... Barry Goldwater. Ominous VO: "Can America trust its future to a President to named ... Barry?" If you're a Republican, replace Goldwater with Barry Bonds and Marion Barry, and film in black and white.

Update: Feck! Via Atrios, I see someone has stolen my patented and wholly original idea of making fun of hacks. And backing up their ridicule with linguistic research, just to make me look lazy. These Berkeley profs. will make my life miserable until the day I die.

Howie Kurtz, G.O.P. Bitch

Writing about the fraudulent Pelosi air travel story, fraudulent journalist Howard Kurtz spins for his masters:

Here's some typical blog reaction. Radiant Times:

"With all the fuss about global warming nowadays, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is complaining that she cannot have a huge jet to traipse across the country with her immediate family and political supporters. Does she realize what a huge government jet would cost the taxpayers? Maybe not, and maybe she does not care - who knows?"

Political Retch:

"What has happened to the democrats, now they want Pelosi to be treated like a queen? She and her band of freaks are starting to sound less and less like the peoples' choice to lead the country. If the plane isn't big enough then don't go to California, or better yet pay your own damn fare on a commercial jet. Silly [rhymes with witch]!"

How typical is this "blog reaction?"

Well, Political Retch is a blog with one -- that's one -- post. The one Kurtz quotes. The blog apparently didn't exist until yesterday morning at 8:38 a.m. If you do a Google search with "Politcal Retch" in quotes, it doesn't even show up. Yet Howie the Putz somehow managed to find the blog and promote it with no trouble whatsoever. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

And Howie manages to sanitize "Bobby G.'s" quote to make it more palatable for his G.O.P base. The Putz removes the word "bitch" from the post so the author looks like less of a bigoted cretin, and also removes the even more moronic middle of the post without using ellipses.

The other blogger, Radiant Times, is "a choral director specializing in working with singers with changing voices" who began blogging on February 1, 2007 and currently has a total of 93 pages visits, 30 of which are from today.

So, according to the Putz, "typical blogger reaction" to the Pelosi slander is uniformly negative, and comes from bloggers who have blogged a total of 9 days. For Kurtz, the typical bloggers -- and the only bloggers worth quoting -- are ones who spout uninformed right-wing opinion, not ones that actually searched for the facts and challenged the fabrications of the Moonie Times.

That's why you can't spell Howie without [colloquial abbreviation for a prostitute].

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Spread Too Thin

I worry that our cable networks lack sufficient resources to cover both the death of Anna Nicole Smith and the diaper-wearing astronaut story at the same time.

Jean Jeane

James Wolcott catches the Depends crew mangling Ambassador Kirkpatrick's name in an ostensible tribute to the stone cold warrior.

It's not the first time and, barring the end of wingnut welfare as we know it, it won't be the last.

The value of torture.

The spiritual forbears of Abu Gonzales and John Yoo show us how it's done.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Tom Hilton says it all.

If you can't stand the speech, get the fuck out of the blogosphere.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Dear Ms. Kakutani,

Yes, Dinesh D'Souza is a dishonest, shrill little troll.

However, the title of the August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Briefing is "Bin Laden Determined To Attack Inside The U.S." Don't give Bush a pass he doesn't deserve.

Tri-Corner Hacks

I've got to admit that the almost-never right Sully Joe got this one right:

Mickey Kaus accuses Joe Klein of having it both ways on the Iraq war. I'd say that's better than having no coherent position on the war at all, except fathomless bitchiness toward anyone who ever had the balls to take a stand. But that's Mickey - circling the drain of his own irrelevance. And bitchily attacking anyone who's trying honestly to do better.
Except that's not a drain, and we don't call it "circling" here in the United States. And Klein's as worthless as Kaus, except in writing skills. But those are minor quibbles.

The latest ploy from the hairless hack (Kaus, not Sullivan, or Klein) was to wonder who would suffer politically if the surge succeeded. Kaus's fantasy was that Dems (and Chuck Hagel, who took Kaus's spot in Vietnam) would suffer. Of course, no concern was expressed for those who have suffered pre-surge or those who would suffer because of the surge.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Here are the answers to the 2006 Roger Ailes Year-In-Review Quiz:

Part I -- Grand Old Police Blotter: The Year In Republicrime

a. Bob Ney -- 6. Conspiracy, making false statements

b. Chad Castagana -- 2. Terrorist threats

c. Jeff Skilling -- 4. Fraud, conspiracy, false statements and insider trading

d. Ted Haggard -- 7. Solicitation, methamphetamine use

e. Jack Abramoff -- 8. Bribery

f. Bruce Tinsley -- 5. Drunk driving, public intoxication

g. Bernard Kerik -- 10. Ethics violations (accepting/failing to disclose gifts)

h. Tom Noe -- 1. Embezzlement

i. Ann Coulter -- 3. Voting illegally

j. Randy "Duke" Cunningham -- 9. Fraud
Part II -- Who Said It?

1. "Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!" Steven Colbert

2. "And he [Jack Abramoff] had made substantial campaign contributions to both major parties." Deborah Howell

3. "i always use lotion and the hand" Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL)

4. "Voters know it's hard to do a risky thing like define marriage as a legal entity that can take place only between an adult human male and an adult human female." Peggy Noonan

5. "You may end up with a different math but you are entitled to your math and I'm entitled to the math." Karl Rove

6. "Considering that all of this happened almost eight years ago, and that there are no files or notes that I've kept from that brief stint, it is simply my word against the liberal blogosphere on these examples. It becomes a matter of who you believe." Ben Domenech

7. "As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else." Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA)

8. "And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes." Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK)

9. "I'm not Lee Siegel, you imbecile. If you knew who I was you and your n + 1 buddies would crap in your pants." Lee Siegel

10. "I didn't kiss him back." Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-CT)
Part III -- Multiple Guess

1. Which one of the following moronic statements by a blogger is fake:

c. "All women with large breasts are sluts." -- Ann Althouse

2. Which of the following Senators voted for the cloture motion which allowed the nomination of Samuel Alito to go to a vote of the full Senate?

a. Robert Byrd (D-VW)
b. Joe Lieberman (D-CT)
c. Maria Cantwell (D-OR) (D-WA)
d. Mary Landrieu (D-LA)
e. All of the above

3. On his low-rated radio show, Matt Drudge offered the following defense of Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL):

b. "The kids are egging the Congressman on."

4. Which of the following drunks sought treatment before his high-profile scandal in 2006?

a. Charles Kennedy (Lib Dem -- Ross, Skye and Lochaber)

5. Which of the following Presidential hopefuls supported Bush's invasion of Iraq? (Choose all applicable names):

a. Sen. Joseph Biden
b. Sen. Hillary Clinton
c. Sen. Chris Dodd
d. Sen. John Edwards

6. The biggest loser, percentage-wise, in the November 2006 elections was:

b. Sen. Rick Santorum

7. The following author/s and book were featured on Meet the Press with Tim Russert:

a. Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, co-author, Crashing the Gates

8. Which 2008 G.O.P. presidential hopeful once said "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."

d. Sen. John McCain

9. In the November 2006 election, the Democrats gained how many seats in the U.S. House of Representatives?

d. 31

10. As of December 2006, the cost of Bush's invasion of Iraq is:

a. At least 354 billion dollars in U.S. expenditures
b. At least 3,000 U.S. soldiers' lives
c. At least 52,000 Iraqi civilian lives
d. Not one second of George Bush's sleep
e. All of the above

Part IV -- Dr. Phil In The Blank

1. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

2. Willard Mitt Romney.

3. Backdating options (2006-2007 business scandal)

4. "This fellow here, over here with the yellow shirt, macaca, or whatever his name is."

5. "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp."

6. Saparmurat Niyazov, also known as Turkmanbashi

7. Loans for Peerages scandal

8. Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid

9. "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

10. "John McCain, what a maverick! Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you it wasn't a salad fork."

Part V -- WTF?

1. Dubai Ports World

2. Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act

3. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

4. Open Source Media (Open Sores Media or Herpes L. Simonplex II will also be accepted)

5. International Atomic Energy Agency

6. Voice-over internet protocol

7. Six Party Talks

8. Iraq Study Group

9. Whiny-ass titty baby

10. American Israel Public Affairs Committee

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Programming Notes

Having spent the last twenty minutes trying to sign into Blogger (a common occurrence with the "new" Blogger), please note:

1. The answers to the Year-In-Review Quiz will be posted tomorrow; and

2. Yes, Tom DeLay was House Majority Leader. I'm a moron.

Oh, and: Blogger sucks.

Roger's Super Bowl Prediction

I confidently predict that I won't be watching the Super Bowl this year. I haven't seen an entire Super Bowl since XX, when Mike Singletary and Sweetness led the Chicago Bears in 46-10 rout of the New England Pats. My interest that year was primarily in someone else who was attending the same viewing party, and only Tony Eason's 0 for 6 completions kept me from being the biggest loser of January 26, 1986.

I don't even know which network it's on this year. So I'll probably spend the time writing scathing letters to my HMO or (finally) posting the results of the 2006 Year-in-Review Quiz.

Not In This Dick's Armey

How low has Tom DeLay, the tiny toxic Texan, sunk? Well, now even Dick Armey thinks he's a scumbag:

I have my own understandings and feelings about Tom DeLay. ... I don't believe he's a good person, and I don't believe he ... should have been in public office.

Thanks a wad, Dick, for letting us know before DeLay became Speaker of the House.

(Link via Talking Points Memo.)

Thursday, February 01, 2007

It's Not About The Putz

Yesterday, Howard Kurtz wrote about Judy Fucking-Miller's appearance under subpoena at United States v. Libby trial on Monday:

"The last person Judith Miller probably wanted to see yesterday was me."

Let's see. Prosecutor who imprisoned Miller for violating the law vs. annoying, egomanical yutz with a bad rug. Who would Miller rather not see?

And another question: Who's paying malpractice artist Bob Bennett since the New York Times canned Miller? A competent reporter would find out, but the Putz was too busy having daydreams of grandeur to do any reporting. The greasy-wigged hack must have been covering arrivals for the TV Guide Channel, because he spent the entire day at the trial and didn't report a second of the proceedings in the column.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The Sound Of One Hannity Clapping

In the New York Times, Alessandra Stanley critiques Sean Hannity's first televised visit to a whorehouse, which I alluded to last Sunday:

Underneath the flag-waving swagger, Mr. Hannity’s show is riddled with leftist subliminal suggestion and degrading, un-American images of violence and pornography. Last Sunday Mr. Hannity toured the Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada and stood over two prostitutes lolling on a bed in skimpy lingerie, their hands placed between their legs, and asked them if they believed in God.

"Every week we will bring you a different side of the country you love," Mr. Hannity promised on the show's premiere on Jan. 7. Mostly, however, he seems to be exposing the worst excesses of godless capitalism.


But the Bunny Ranch visit was the last straw. While Mr. Hannity, who attended Roman Catholic parochial school, interviews scantily clad prostitutes, ostensibly urging them to quit and go to law school, the camera slowly moves from prostitute to prostitute, lasciviously lingering over the one with the largest, most exposed breasts.

"Is it all about the money?" he asks one young woman. "Yes," she replies patiently. "Any job is about the money."

The show was taped several weeks ago, but the prostitutes are still trying to wash the Hannity off of themselves.

I almost feel sorry for the other Roger Ailes. Neil Cavuto and John Gibson have been in his office every day, pitching specials on the peep show industry and begging for rolls of quarters.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Operation Moonshark Edition

The Reverend Sun Myung Moon, convicted tax criminal and the man Wes Pruden and Fran Coombs call both "God" and "Daddy," has been caught violating United States law again, according to Moon's co-conspirator, the Reverend Kevin Thompson:

The pastor of the Bay Area Family Church in San Leandro [Thompson] confessed to investigators almost immediately after he was caught, telling them that he and a few of his congregants had been hauling baby leopard sharks out of San Francisco Bay for more than fifteen years. Pet dealers from around the world paid handsomely for the beautiful and exotic fish and sold them to people for their home aquariums. One of Thompson's followers estimated they had hooked more than six thousand shark pups in all; the feds pegged the street value of the local church's operation at $1.2 million.

From the get-go, however, Special Agent Roy Torres of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration uncovered evidence that the shark ring extended beyond Thompson. Among his more telling discoveries was the close tie between the pastor and True World Foods, the nation's largest supplier of sushi-grade fish. Moon's followers launched True World in the 1980s after the church leader issued a series of lectures, extolling the virtues of fishing. While Moon's followers call him "True Father," he calls himself "King of the Ocean."


None of this circumstantial evidence, most of which Torres detailed in federal court records, established a direct link between Thompson's sharks and the King of the Ocean. But the pastor voluntarily made that link himself. In a 2003 sermon captured on audiotape, Thompson said he personally informed the True Father about the shark enterprise. "When I had the chance to tell our founder Reverend Moon about it ... he told me, you know, 'You need twenty boats out there fishing!'" he boasted. "He had this big plan drawn out, you know." Thompson, a Brit who speaks with a Scottish accent, also said he had to convince the excited Moon not to expand the operation, apparently out of fear that it would attract notice.

With this evidence, if the Feds decline to issue a warrant for Moon's arrest and demand extradition, the only rational conclusion is that the Bush Administration had given the edict not to pursue the messianic malefactor. But I'm not holding my breath. It wouldn't be the first time wingnut welfare trumped American justice.

The incriminating audio is here.

(Thanks to my reader for the tip.)

Sunday, January 28, 2007

We Want Pre Nupt

Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz's fascination with the financial side of marriage surfaces once again:

Why doesn't Jane just retire from the business of giving the American people moral advice? She could live on the millions in royalties from her 23 exercise videos and God only knows how much Ted Turner gave her in alimony.

It's $80 million, Marty. But you don't have to call me G-d.

I Fart Huckabees

Who said this blog isn't classy?

It was a television moment that will long be remembered, Mike Huckabee's appearance on Press the Meat. Let's go to the videotape:

TIM RUSSERT (R-NY): ....But first, the 2008 race for the White House has begun. Sixteen candidates have already formed presidential committees. And this morning, it’s decision time for our guest, the former Republican governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee. Governor, welcome.

FMR. GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE (R-AR): Thank you very much, Tim.

MR. RUSSERT: Are you running for president of the United States?

GOV. HUCKABEE: No, Tim. I'm not.


GOV. HUCKABEE: Why what?

MR. RUSSERT: Why are you running for president?

GOV. HUCKABEE: I'm not running for president.


GOV. HUCKABEE: I'm said, I'm not running for president.

MR. RUSSERT: You're not running... That's not what it says here. What the [bleep] are you doing here then? I cancelled a fluff for the Vice President for you.

GOV. HUCKABEE: So, Tim, how does it feel to be a material witness in a criminal trial?

MR. RUSSERT: (head visibly swelling) Jaisus, Mary and Joseph! Get your [bleeping] ass off my set! Who the Christ Almighty booked this [bleep]ing [bleep]? Who the [bleep] is next week's guest, Tom [bleep]ing Tancredo? That fecking Mormon [bleep]er?!? Jaisus Haitch Christmas on a cracker. Cut the camera. Saints [bleep]ing Preserve Us!

Okay, not exactly.

The reality was worse:

MR. RUSSERT: Let me ask you about a controversial aspect of your governorship. Wayne Dumond...


MR. RUSSERT: ...a rapist who was convicted, sentenced in Arkansas, the parole board voted not to parole him in September of -- in August of '96. You announced that you were going to commute his sentence, and then the parole board reversed course and agreed to parole him, and you supported their decision to parole. He was, was freed, left the state, killed and raped someone else in Missouri. Do you regret supporting that parole?

GOV. HUCKABEE: You know, looking back, certainly I wish that I had known more than I knew, but here's what I knew: I never commuted his sentence; his sentence was commuted by my predecessor. When he was parole elibigle, he had not yet made parole. And I supported that he was parole-eligible. Later, the parole board did, in fact, give him their parole, supervised.

MR. RUSSERT: Did you talk to the parole board?

GOV. HUCKABEE: I did. But it wasn't about Wayne Dumond. I went there, even though there are some tabloid reports that tried to make it that I did, I went there to get acquainted with them because I hadn't appointed any of them. Out of all...

MR. RUSSERT: You never mentioned Wayne Dumond?

GOV. HUCKABEE: No, they brought it up to me. And, of course...

MR. RUSSERT: So you did talk to the board about him?

GOV. HUCKABEE: Only thing I said was this: They asked me did I think that he should be paroled, or something to that effect, and I simply said, "I think that his case has got to be given, you know, a serious look." What he apparently did when he left was horrible, Tim. But, you know, the issue is, he is a person who did a horrible thing before and after. I think all of us regret and have deep, deep, painful thoughts that someone could do something like this.

Now that's stupid even for a Republican.

Two other television highlights from today: Sean Hannity's America stops at a whorehouse, this time with a camera crew (no link); and "Doctor" Frank Luntz on After Words, expounding on how nasty blogs are, "especially those on the left." Hey, Frank. Fuck you and the toupee that rid in on you.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Scooter Libby is a real mensch:

[Cathie Martin] recounted a senior staff meeting at the White House in which Stephen J. Hadley, the deputy national security adviser, expressed anger after receiving a query from Andrea Mitchell of NBC. Ms. Mitchell had heard that the White House was blaming the C.I.A. for causing the president to inaccurately say in his State of the Union address that the British government had confirmed Iraq's efforts to buy uranium in Africa.

Ms. Martin made it clear earlier on Thursday that it was Mr. Libby who had gone out of his way to take on the task of speaking to Ms. Mitchell about that issue.

But at the July meeting in the White House, she said, Mr. Hadley made a point of turning around and looking directly at her as if to signify he knew she was Ms. Mitchell's source.

Ms. Martin was asked by Patrick J. Fitzgerald, the prosecutor, whether she was, in fact, the source.

"No," she said.

Mr. Fitzgerald asked what Mr. Libby was doing when Mr. Hadley was all but accusing her.

"He was looking down at the floor," she said.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

And All The Crow You Can Eat

Perhaps I was too hasty in bashing Marty Peretz. I fear I've blown my big chance to snag a coveted dogsboy slot at TNR:


THE NEW REPUBLIC is looking for reporter-researchers for the 2007-2008 internship program. Job duties include reporting, research, and fact-checking for TNR and TNR Online stories, formatting articles and blog posts for the Web, and occasional clerical tasks. Reporter-researchers get to work with writers, editors, and have an open invitation to pitch magazine or Web articles. Political journalism experience is preferred (but not imperative); fluency with LexisNexis and other search techniques is mandatory. The yearlong job begins in late summer 2007 and pays $264 (plus substantial overtime) per week with health insurance.

If I suggest replacing "fluency with LexisNexis" to "proficiency with LexisNexis," can I have an editor's job?

On the other hand, it's nice to see TNR fill Peter Beinart's job while he's serving in Iraq.

Desperate Housewives

Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz is getting quite catty. Last night, the Harvard hairless hissed:

John Forbes Kerry is not running for president, and that's because no one was following him in his race. Well, maybe Teresa. But maybe not.

No such trouble for Marty. When he's kept, he stays kept!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Well, I certainly didn't vote for failure, but there he was on my radio, giving the State of the Union Address.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Write Your Own Joke

Current top "Latest News" headline on CNN.com:

CNN Hummer: $1.25M for charity

Howard Kurtz, Illiterate Hack

Howard Kurtz has a problem with the First Amendment. He's never read it.

On this morning's Reliable Republicans, Kurtz interviewed Mike Stark of Calling All Wingnuts about Spocko's brilliant campaign to expose KSFO's brand of bargain-basement bigotry to unsuspecting ad buyers. At one point, Kurtz said to Stark, as a statement not a question,

"but you seem to have a problem with the First Amendment."

Yes, a media critic who doesn't understand the First Amendement. Of course, Stark, a citizen holding no political office, couldn't violate the First Amendment if he tried. And Stark didn't call upon the government to silence KKKSFO. But for Kurtz, the mere act of criticizing the haters who call for the murder of Nancy Pelosi, Bill Keller and millions of Muslims is not an act of free speech but a violation of the constitution.

To be fair, Howie did select Fred Flintstone to provide the counterpoint to Stark. But since Howie was making all the points Fred couldn't manage to spit out, Fred was superfluous.

(Link to transcript when it becomes available.)

Update: Link added above. The exact quote was "you seem to have a problem with the First Amendment," not "It seems to me that you have a problem with the First Amendment." Same thing.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Hope Is Not A Platform

I didn't an e-mail from his staff, but since Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) also announced his Presidential candidacy today, I thought I'd give him some of the spotlight too. Here's Sam on Iraq:

After my recent trip to Iraq, I am even more convinced that the situation there is precarious, but hopeful. I see hope in the Iraqi people. I believe this hope will be the foundation of a new Iraqi society. Much remains to be done, and I think we need a plan to turn this country over to its citizens. I will continue to work with the leaders in our country, as well as leaders in Iraq, to find a solution that protects the future of Iraq, and the pride and dignity of its citizens.

Profound. If the G.O.P. nomination eludes Sam's grasp, there's always the Miss America Pageant.

Socks and The Nazi

TNR sock monster sprezzatura has reemerged in the pages of The New York Times Book Review, penning a long-ass review of Norman Mailer's novel The Sex Life of Adolf H.. Scenes from Mailer's opus deemed worthy of analysis include the following:

After (unforgettably described) sex with Adolf's future father, Alois Schicklgruber, Hitler's future mother, Klara Poelzl, experiences a guilt that is "as heavy as a waterlogged tree."

In a travesty of nature and procreation, the young Adolf Hitler likes to masturbate on leaves.

Somewhere along the line, Dieter remarks on "that curious human nature, which forces its way into existence between the hazards of urine and excrement, yet will later dream each night of a noble life." Inter faeces et urinam, another of this novel’s themes, is a further twist on "nakedness" and on mortal helplessness.

.... Adolf, whose onanistic sessions are like "being shot out of his own cannon."

In the midst of the review, sprezzatura returns to a favorite theme:

Ours is an age of mockery and sarcasm, when even irony is belittled for being secretly sincere about its lack of conviction.

Mockery, sockery! If you write about Hitler beating off as lit-ra-chure, you've got to expect to some snark.

The Power Broker

Top Democratic Presidential hopefuls are personally having their staffers vie for the Roger Ailes endorsement in the all-important Roger Ailes Primary. They know this blog can deliver more than 1,200 of the smartest and most civic-minded blog readers on a daily basis. (1,201 to be precise.)

Here's a personal invitation I recieved just this morning from my close personal friend, Peter Daou:

I wanted to personally invite you to visit hillaryclinton.com and view Sen. Clinton's announcement that she will form an exploratory committee to run for President. And I'd like to invite you to join the senator for a live conversation with America – an unprecedented series of video webcasts beginning Monday, January 22nd at 7pm EST for three nights. We are also asking people to submit posts in preparation for the upcoming launch of the official campaign blog – one entry will be selected as our first guest post.

As you may know, I've been communicating with bloggers and online activists on behalf of Sen. Clinton since last summer and I'd like to extend an invitation to you to contact me directly with any feedback, questions, comments, criticisms, compliments, or anything else you'd like to tell the campaign as we move forward.

I can be reached here: [gmail address removed to prevent spamming]

I'd also like to say that I'm excited to be working with several colleagues who you may be familiar with: Judd Legum (who will be the campaign's research director), Crystal Patterson, and Jesse Berney.

I look forward to hearing from you…



P.S. Please feel free to pass this along to fellow bloggers.

The ball's in your court, Senator Dodd.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Racist Profiling

Wide-load bigot Jonah Goldberg is so filled with hate that he can't be bothered with the facts:

Re: The Flying Imams: [Jonah Goldberg]

My apologies. Earlier this morning — pre-coffee - I posted about how the Flying Imams would get a refund. I was wrong entirely and utterly, misreading the article and the email in which it was forwarded. It was a different group of Muslims, on a different airline. Rather than foment more confusion, I took the post down. Again, I regret the stupidity on my part.

Hate is the default setting on Goldberg's dessicated brain. The Los Angeles Times must be very proud.

If anyone's got a copy of the deleted post, let me know. It must have been quite vile for the pantload to run from it so fast.

Here's the story the pantload couldn't bother to read. Different continent, different destination, different circumstances, different date, different everything. But to Goldberg, they all look alike.

Value Subtracted

The flip-flopping Tool, Scott Johnson, was for the slander before he was against it.

Scott "Not Asssocket" Johnson is counselling caution concerning Neal Sher's smear of former President Jimmy Carter. (See below.) "No story should be accepted based on Sher's word alone," declares the newly-prudent prat.

Which is funny, considering Johnson was pimping "Sher's invaluable recollection" based on Sher's word alone just two weeks ago. The price of a Sher has fallen almost faster than Powerline's credibility.

Warren Bass on Dickless D'Souza:

D'Souza, the author of the bestselling Illiberal Education, has no particular expertise on terrorism, which may explain why he writes twice that there are U.S. troops in Mecca (someone should probably alert Bob Gates) or why he thinks that President Reagan's 1986 airstrikes on Libya "convinced Qadafi to retire from the terrorism trade," despite the bombing of Pan Am 103 by Libyan agents two years later. But D'Souza's inexperience doesn't explain why he so badly misreads bin Ladenist ideology, despite the peppering of jihadist quotes that he uses to lend the book a sense of authority.

Is there any amount of incompetence of dishonesty which will deny a book contract to a right-winger? The publisher of this crap isn't WorldNutDaily or some Scaife whorehouse, it's Doubleday.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Radio Kills

Jennifer Strange, a mother of three from suburban Rancho Cordova, died last Friday of apparent water intoxication just hours after a failed bid to win a Nintendo Wii video-game system for her kids in a promotion dubbed "Hold Your Pee for a Wii."


A tape of the program, known as the "Morning Rave" on KDND-FM (107.9) "The End," reveals that the potential fatal effects of drinking too much water were raised during the course of the contest, with one on-air host mentioning the 2005 death of a college student during a hazing ritual in Chico. A listener also called in to advise against the stunt.

Strange -- one of 20 contestants -- initially joked lightheartedly with the show hosts as she and the rest chugged bottled water. But as the hours wore on, it came down to Strange and one other woman for the grand prize, and she admitted to having a splitting headache and feeling wobbly. Strange quipped on air that "it looks like I'm pregnant again."


A preliminary review by the coroner found she likely died of water intoxication, also called hyperhydration. People who drink too much water too fast can dilute their bodily fluids, creating potentially deadly shifts in their electrolyte levels.


Officials at Entercom Communications Corp., the station's Philadelphia-based owner, fired 10 people from KDND on Tuesday, including station manager Steve Weed, promotions chief Robin Pechota, producer Liz Diaz and the five on-air personalities involved in the show -- Adam Cox, Steve Maney, Patricia Sweet, Matt Carter and Pete Inzerillo. None returned calls for comment.

Alberto Gonzales has already offered them jobs at Bush Justice.

Here's some of the wacky radio banter soon to be known as Exhibit "A":

Female caller named Eva: "I want to say that, um, that those people that are drinking all that water can get sick and possibly die from water intoxication." DJ: "We're aware of that." DJ: "They signed releases, so we're not responsible. It's OK."

Sher and Smear Alike

Various wingnuts are drooling over the allegation in this article claiming that then-former President Carter allegedly requested leniency for a Nazi war criminal living in the United States.

Here's what we know about the accuser:

Now, the 56-year-old [Neal] Sher is unemployed. And, on Aug. 28, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit stripped him of his D.C. law license. The move comes roughly one year after Sher conceded he had made "unauthorized reimbursements" of travel expenses from the International Commission on Holocaust Era Insurance Claims, where he served as its chief of staff. He resigned from that position in June 2002.


In 1998, several European insurance companies reached an agreement with Holocaust survivor groups, state insurance commissioners and the Israeli government to pay the families of Holocaust victims, who had earlier been denied insurance benefits. The insurance companies pledged millions of dollars, and the International Commission on Holocaust Era Insurance Claims was created to help evaluate claims and disburse the money. Sher was hired as its chief of staff.

The commission came under fire early on for taking too long to process claims and for its refusal to make its finances public. In May 2001, the Los Angeles Times, citing internal commission documents, claimed that the commission had spent $30 million on salaries and outreach efforts, while paying out just $3 million. Later that year, a House committee held hearings at which Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., threatened to subpoena commission records. Commission Chairman Eagleburger, however, maintained that Congress had no authority over the group.


Two and a half months after the divorce was filed, The Baltimore Sun published a lengthy investigative article on the commission's expenditures. The article, which relied upon internal commission documents, reported that Sher had claimed to spend $136,653 in travel expenses in 1999. The article stated that the airfare alone for trips to Rome and Berlin often was $5,000 or more per trip. The article also noted that Sher had quit the commission just a few weeks prior to the article's publication.

Some details about what happened between Sher and the commission are still unclear. Eagleburger, in his statement to Legal Times, said that Sher was placed on administrative leave after admitting to the improper travel expense reimbursements. The commission's outside counsel, Thomas Howard of the D.C. office of Ballard Spahr Andrews & Ingersoll, conducted an internal investigation. Howard's findings were then reviewed by one-time FBI director and former federal Judge William Webster III of the D.C. office of Milbank, Tweed, Hadley & McCloy. Sher paid back the commission, including the money it cost for the group to conduct the inquiry, and quietly resigned. According to Eagleburger, Webster recommended that no further action be taken.

Let's look closer:

However, the respondent [Neal Sher] admitted in his affidavit of consent to disbarment, which was annexed to the petitioner's notice pursuant to 22 NYCRR 691.3, that on 20 occasions between August 1999 and March 2002, while serving as the chief of staff and chief counsel to the ICHEIC, he filed claims for reimbursement which contained deliberately inflated statements regarding expenses incurred for air travel. The respondent admitted retaining $106,426.53. This sum was the difference in the price of coach class airfares that he actually purchased, as opposed to business class fares that he submitted as claims for reimbursements and which he was authorized to purchase, but did not.


Based on the evidence adduced, the motion and cross motion are granted to the extent that the Special Referee's report is confirmed. Notwithstanding the mitigation advanced by the respondent and the remorse expressed, he is guilty of serious professional misconduct which involves dishonesty, fraud, deceit, and misrepresentation. This misconduct warrants a one-year suspension.

Stealing from a Holocaust survivors' compensation fund. Dishonesty, fraud, deceit and misrepresentation.

Being a wingnut means never having to say you're a gullible dipshit.

Republican Idol

It looks like there's a three-way race for the quintessential Alan Keyes podium at the G.O.P. presidential debates:

Nobody seems very sure why Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.), the anti-immigration crusader, has thrown his hat in the ring for the presidency. No one believes he can win. A key lesson of 2006 is that the immigration issue is not an automatic winner for Republicans, and Tancredo is also not expected to raise the kind of money needed for a serious race. Many also believed that he would stay out after Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) announced his candidacy, since that put an immigration hawk in the race. But in fact, Duncan's presence in the race had less effect on Tancredo than the decision of libertarian Rep. Ron Paul (R-Tex.) to seek the nomination.

Tancredo got in anyway. He won't have the immigration issue to himself, but as long as he stays in, he may have to himself the anti-Bush mantle in the GOP primary. It is not expected that any of the other candidates (except maybe Paul) will denounce Bush for the GOP's decline, as Tancredo did Tuesday in an appearance on Tucker Carlson's afternoon program.

Of course, the inclusion of these loons will allow the G.O.P. and its media allies to claim that the party's more-polished loons, Willard Romney and John of Arc, are middle-of-the-roaders. But these chumps don't even have the amusement potential of Steve Forbes or Gary Bauer. Come back, George Allen, your party needs you.

(Quote from Novakula, click here at your own risk.)

Some Gave None

At last, someone has discovered the substantial personal price that "Doctor" Condoleezza Rice has made in re: Iraq. Debb Saunders has the details:

Actually, Rice is paying a personal price. She has not lost a son, but Rice has had to live with whatever policy mistakes she helped make, and she has put her life at risk when visiting Iraq.

Kind of like those doctors who kill so many patients they have to live with added malpractice premiums. Of course, Condi gets to live with the mistakes she made, while those on the recieving end of Condi's mistakes don't have that burden at all. They should be thanking Condi, those decomposing ingrates.

The rest of Debb's column contains not only the usual clownish distortion of Boxer's remarks, but also manufactures an entire new army of strawmen which have nothing to do with Boxer's remarks. Saunders quotes Faux journalist David Assman, who criticizes those who call U.S. soliders "kids" (which Boxer didn't do), a solider's mother who says Boxer doesn't speak for her (which Boxer didn't claim to do) and the mother of a deceased solider who's pissed off she doesn't get as much teevee time as Cindy Sheehan.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Soup Nazis

When I first heard the rumors about Hot Soup and its high-minded malarkey, I thought they must have been some alcohol-induced hallucination. Which was odd, because I haven't taken a drink in years.

But apparently Hot Soup exists. Julia has the details on Hot Soup's Gerald Ford Challenge(TM), which reads as follows:

In honor of Gerald Ford, his decency, and the tremendous sacrifices he made to heal this country at a time of division, I pledge to spend 2007 working towards a similar depolarization – by cooperating with peers from opposing camps, by putting my countrymen's needs before my party's, and by making sacrifices if necessary. We stand stronger when united, and I pledge to lead my country by good example, just as I have been led by Gerald Ford's good example. I pledge to spend 2007 working towards that strong unity, and I dedicate that work to Gerald Ford's memory.

I don't have any great dislike for Ford, but the legacy of Gerald Ford is not a legacy of putting his countrymen's needs before his party's or making sacrifices. The Nixon pardon was what the Republican Party needed, not what the country needed, no matter how many thousands of Beltway monkeys type that line for a thousand years. Ford may have sacrificed his own chance to be elected President (which were non-existent at best before he was named V.P.), but his pardon immunized the Republican Party from the disclosure that its corruption was party-wide and deep, and not localized to the White House.

As for Hot Soup, I don't need a bunch of p.r. firm whores to tell me how to think about America. Those clowns wouldn't know sacrifice if it was rammed up their expense-account-padded fat asses.

Right now on Hot Soup (no link for you!) such unity-minded, self-abnegating non-partisans as Newt Gingrich and Mary Matalin are addressing the pressing issue of what they would do if Bill Gates gave them $10 billion dollars. (Playing along, Newtie and the Beast don't mention their dream of a privately-funded nuclear annihilation of Teheran.) For the Soup Nazis, partisanship is a character deficit exclusive to those you don't break cocktail weenies with.


Today on Press The Meat, Pumpkinhead Russert repeated the slander that Joe Lieberman (Me-CT) is a Democrat.

Lieberman repeated the slander that anyone who opposes the escalation is a 9/11-terrorist-loving loser. Oh, and he's supporting the escalation for his children and his grandchilden, apparently because they're too busy to do it themselves.