I Fart Huckabees
Who said this blog isn't classy?
It was a television moment that will long be remembered, Mike Huckabee's appearance on Press the Meat. Let's go to the videotape:
TIM RUSSERT (R-NY): ....But first, the 2008 race for the White House has begun. Sixteen candidates have already formed presidential committees. And this morning, it’s decision time for our guest, the former Republican governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee. Governor, welcome.
FMR. GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE (R-AR): Thank you very much, Tim.
MR. RUSSERT: Are you running for president of the United States?
GOV. HUCKABEE: No, Tim. I'm not.
MR. RUSSERT: Why?
GOV. HUCKABEE: Why what?
MR. RUSSERT: Why are you running for president?
GOV. HUCKABEE: I'm not running for president.
MR. RUSSERT: What?
GOV. HUCKABEE: I'm said, I'm not running for president.
MR. RUSSERT: You're not running... That's not what it says here. What the [bleep] are you doing here then? I cancelled a fluff for the Vice President for you.
GOV. HUCKABEE: So, Tim, how does it feel to be a material witness in a criminal trial?
MR. RUSSERT: (head visibly swelling) Jaisus, Mary and Joseph! Get your [bleeping] ass off my set! Who the Christ Almighty booked this [bleep]ing [bleep]? Who the [bleep] is next week's guest, Tom [bleep]ing Tancredo? That fecking Mormon [bleep]er?!? Jaisus Haitch Christmas on a cracker. Cut the camera. Saints [bleep]ing Preserve Us!
Okay, not exactly.
The reality was worse:
MR. RUSSERT: Let me ask you about a controversial aspect of your governorship. Wayne Dumond...
GOV. HUCKABEE: Yes.
MR. RUSSERT: ...a rapist who was convicted, sentenced in Arkansas, the parole board voted not to parole him in September of -- in August of '96. You announced that you were going to commute his sentence, and then the parole board reversed course and agreed to parole him, and you supported their decision to parole. He was, was freed, left the state, killed and raped someone else in Missouri. Do you regret supporting that parole?
GOV. HUCKABEE: You know, looking back, certainly I wish that I had known more than I knew, but here's what I knew: I never commuted his sentence; his sentence was commuted by my predecessor. When he was parole elibigle, he had not yet made parole. And I supported that he was parole-eligible. Later, the parole board did, in fact, give him their parole, supervised.
MR. RUSSERT: Did you talk to the parole board?
GOV. HUCKABEE: I did. But it wasn't about Wayne Dumond. I went there, even though there are some tabloid reports that tried to make it that I did, I went there to get acquainted with them because I hadn't appointed any of them. Out of all...
MR. RUSSERT: You never mentioned Wayne Dumond?
GOV. HUCKABEE: No, they brought it up to me. And, of course...
MR. RUSSERT: So you did talk to the board about him?
GOV. HUCKABEE: Only thing I said was this: They asked me did I think that he should be paroled, or something to that effect, and I simply said, "I think that his case has got to be given, you know, a serious look." What he apparently did when he left was horrible, Tim. But, you know, the issue is, he is a person who did a horrible thing before and after. I think all of us regret and have deep, deep, painful thoughts that someone could do something like this.
Now that's stupid even for a Republican.
Two other television highlights from today: Sean Hannity's America stops at a whorehouse, this time with a camera crew (no link); and "Doctor" Frank Luntz on After Words, expounding on how nasty blogs are, "especially those on the left." Hey, Frank. Fuck you and the toupee that rid in on you.