Nieman Watchdog, a program affiliated with the Nieman Foundation for Journalism at Harvard, is soliciting questions to be asked of Rupert Murdoch at the American Society of Newspaper Editors' convention in April.

I think I'd ask him which DirectTV offering he prefers: The Hi-Teen Club 3 or Premium Black Booty Search 3.

Or how much Bill O'Reilly paid to settle that sexual harassment suit.

Emphasis On "Tool"

Jim Capozzola takes a blue pencil to Steve Forbes' heartfelt plea for donations to Clownhall.com.

C'mon, Jim, don't be so rough. It's not like Forbes is an editor or author.

Another Victim of the Bush Economy

Why is that a journalist as gifted as James Guckert can't find a job?

Isn't Faux News hiring? Doesn't the Moonie Times have a spot for a Republican with national reporting experience? MSNBC couldn't sink any lower in the ratings if it started the Tucker/Guckert News Hour. Why isn't NewsMax or AIM offering our boy a column or a fellowship? Why won't CBN help a brother out?

Instacracker and Powerline aren't even linking to Guckert's blog. (Although maybe they're the "highly-paid legal team" Guckert brags about at his site. If Guckert's unemployed, is he paying his legal team in trade?) Perhaps WizBang could loan Guckert his blog name so James can start a new dating service.

It's shameful how the right turns its back on one of its own.

The E! Channel missed its big opportunity by failing to cast Gloria Allred in the role of Michael Jackson for its trial reenactment.

I'd even watch that.

The Matter With Hairless Hacks (Repubs)

Republican hack Mickey Kaus once again demonstrates his irrational, all-consuming hatred of the Democratic Party in the following post:

The Matter With Kansas (Dems): From Lawrence Journal-World account of DNC chair Howard Dean's visit to Kansas:

"This is a struggle of good and evil. And we're the good."

--Howard Dean

"I feel like he could have gone even stronger with his language."

--Katherine Dessert, a student and preschool teacher in the audience.

P.S.: Does Dean now come with such built-in expectations in the Righteous Anti-GOP Fury department that he inevitably fails to meet them, with the result that he is actually unable to rally the hard-core faithful he supposedly had the unique ability to rally? ... [Via Polipundit] Update/Correction: There were two Dean speeches. Dean made the "evil" remark at a closed fundraiser, while Dessert was responding to Dean's speech at a larger, more public event. ... 11:40 P.M.

Kaus is willing to attack anyone who doesn't drink the Bush Kool-Aid, even by misrepresenting their opinions. And note the weaselly "Update." The friggin' article makes it abundantly clear which speech Dessert was commenting on. There was no new information for Kaus to "update" -- he was simply wrong. Either Kaus is brain-dead or he deliberately misrepresented Dessert's statement.

Or both.

It's not even clear that Dessert is a Dem. She's quoted on the same page as saying: "This is sort of a problem I have between Democrats and Republicans: the constant language that the other side is wrong. I don't think that kind of language or approach is very effective." Hardly a rabid GOP hater.

Just imagine what kind of foul thoughts Kaus has about a real Dean supporter such as Sarah Stacey, 21, Kansas University student.

The Freeway Blogger has big plans for the San Francisco Bay Area.

One can only hope those plans include Contra Costa and San Mateo Counties.

Roger's Guide to Better Living

Whenever you read something which contains the word "kerfuffle" (except in context of expressing contempt for the use -- and user -- of the word), stop reading immediately.

Then make note of the author's name. And never read anything else written by that author. Ever.

Your life will be immeasurably better.

Roger's Mail Sac

I rarely publish reader e-mails, but this one offers a rare insight on Middle East politics:

Dear Friend,

I am Mrs. Suha Arafat, the wife of Yasser Arafat, the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment.

You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine Government.

In fact the total sum allegedly discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of about $6.5 Billion Dollars. And they are not relenting on their effort to make me poor for life. As you know, the Moslem community has no regards for woman, more importantly when the woman is from a Christian background, hence my desire for a foreign assistance.

I have deposited the sum of 21 million dollars with a Security financial firm in whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and Investment opportunity. This arrangement will be known to you and I alone and all our correspondence should be strictly on email alone because our government has tapped all my lines and are monitoring all my moves.

In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $21,000,000 that will be kept in your position for a while and invested in your name for my trust pending when my Daughter, Zahwa, will come off age and take full responsibility of her Family Estate/inheritance. Please, if you are honest, I am going to entrust more funds in your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our children. In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith and send to me your complete personal contact information.

May God bless you and your household.

Yours sincerely,

Suha Arafat
Reply to sshaa_43@yahoo.it

Roger's Farm Film Blowup

I still haven't seen any of the nominated films, so I don't care who/what wins.

But an Oscar for Million Dollar Baby would be a nice Guckert shower ... right in Michael Medved's ignorant puss.

Once again, I must apologize for not being able to post due to other commitments. Believe me, I'd rather be doing almost anything than what's occupying nearly all my time. And I've no doubt you're sick of these lame I'm busy posts.

Don't file for divorce just yet. I promise I'll be more attentive and responsive to your needs, and won't bring work to bed with me ... very, very soon.

Just like old times.


Please, baby.

An Embarassment Of Riches

I've delayed posting this so that my vast influence wouldn't skew the voting. Or because I didn't realize voting had already closed.

One of those.

The only problem with the 2004 Koufax Awards is that there are too many good blogs to choose from.

Take Most Humorous Blog. Voters have to choose between TBogg, World O' Crap, Jesus' General and Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness. (The others are all great too.) When was the last time the Motion Picture Academy had to choose between four such equally qualified nominees. Because they were equally good, that is.

I'd have to say TBogg is most in synch with my sense of humor, but they're all consistently brilliant.

Every one of the nominees in the Best Writing category is a gifted writer. My vote is going to Jim Capozzola, but I envy the talents of all the nominees.

As for the new blogs, as Dwight Meredith says, "Now, there are so many new blogs of such high quality that it is impossible to be familiar with them all."

If only there was enough time to read them all.

Sully Joe Says Uncle

Sully, who, when he said he was giving up blogging meant he was giving up blogging about shaven-head Bush apologists who look for love on the 'net under assumed names, weighs in the Larry Summers controversy. He writes:

I let rip on the academic Stalinists baying for Summers' blood ....

And then he says some more shit, but I think I'll stop right here.

Academic Stalinists?

Is Larry about to be shot in the back of his head by the Academic NKVD?

Is Lar going to be tortured to death in a prison camp in Academic Siberia?

Will he be going to Intellectual Starbucks with an Academic Beria?

I can't remember Sully comparing the demands for the firing of Howell Raines or Jordan Eason or Trent Lott or Ward Churchill to the Great Purge. In fact, it was Sully who -- more jackass that wolf -- was braying for blood in the Raines and Lott cases. There's more Stalinism in Sully's retroactive editing his earlier writings than there is in the remarks of those taking issue with Summers' assertions.

(No link. He's given up blogging, you know.)

Ezra Klein has a funny post reviewing Hugh Hewitt's book, Blog. I looked for a copy of Blog at Borders yesterday, but couldn't find it. Must've been sold out, or in the fiction section.

I did come across el-Bent Bozell's cleverly-titled Weapons of Mass Distortion : The Coming Meltdown of the Liberal Media, and briefly contemplated reviewing it. But I'd rather castrate myself with a rusty spork than spend $25.95 on Bozell, so I just skimmed it.

Opening the book at random, I landed on a chapter subhead reading "What A Difference A Lawsuit Makes." The title did not refer to the million-dollar settlement Bozell's PTC group paid to settle the WWF's slander suit, but rather the supposed liberal media bias against Larry "Krazy Kounsellor" Klayman. According to Bozell, when the self-identified conservative, Klayman, filed numerous suits against the Clinton Administration and Clinton associates, the debbil media called Klayman a conservative and wasn't interested in the merits of the suits. Of course, neither was Brent, since his book didn't go on to report the outcomes of those suits. But when Klayman sued over access to the minutes of Dick Cheney's secret energy task force, the media wasn't so hostile.

If Bozell wasn't such a dishonest hack, he would have mentioned that Klayman's anti-Clinton suits went nowhere, and that Judicial Watch is joined by a legitimate organization, the Sierra Club, in prosecuting the suit against Cheney's task force. He might also have mentioned that Klayman's no longer with Judicial Watch.

Maybe Bozell mentioned these facts elsewhere in his slim volume of fairy tales. To be frank, I wasn't going to stand around in a store all day reading Bozell's crap.

Perhaps a sympathetic employee of Bozell's publisher, Clown Forum, could send me a review copy before the piles of remainders are sent to a hazmat site for proper disposal. It would be the perfect revenge for having to work with asswipes like Major Garrett and Michael Medved all day. Bozell's overdue for a bitchslapping, and I'm just the bitch to deliver it.

Kinsley vs. the Law

The usually astute Michael Kinsley engages in some sloppy reporting here:

Last week a federal appeals court ruling upheld a lower-court order that Miller and Cooper must testify or go to jail.

That is a travesty. These two public-spirited journalists promised anonymity to sources at a time when the law about "journalists' privilege" was unclear. Having made that promise, they feel obligated to keep it. If they shouldn't have made that promise, society should have sent them a clearer message to that effect. The message is still a muddle. Why these two, who never published the secret name, and not others, including some who did? Before we start jailing journalists for keeping promises, we need to decide when such a promise should be made.

Uh, the Branzburg case was decided by the Supreme Court in 1972. The Court held:

The First Amendment does not relieve a newspaper reporter of the obligation that all citizens have to respond to a grand jury subpoena and answer questions relevant to a criminal investigation, and therefore the Amendment does not afford him a constitutional testimonial privilege for an agreement he makes to conceal facts relevant to a grand jury's investigation of a crime or to conceal the criminal conduct of his source or evidence thereof.

What part of that holding is unclear to Kinsley?

You might want to take some remedial law classes, Mike. I hear U.S.C. has a night school; it might even be accredited.

Frivolous Republican Lawsuits

James Guckert sues reality ... for a divorce.

"Jeff Gannon is considering suing liberal interest groups, bloggers and others for a 'political assassination' that drove him from his job as a reporter for a conservative news outfit called Talon News, he told NEWSWEEK. Gannon, whose real name is James Guckert, singled out Media Matters -- a 'well-funded' liberal group headed by longtime 'attack dog' David Brock. ('Everything we wrote about him came from the public record,' Brock replied.)"

I look forward to discovery.

Wingnut Bloggers Humiliated By Mainstream Media Bully

(Story via Atrios)

John Fund, the man who taught Jonah Goldberg everything he knows about being a doughy pantload, has pissed off an already pissy bunch of rightwing bloggers. No, he didn't date them and then start punching them. He dared to use their laptop computers at the CPAC Conference without their permission.

This really got Kevin McCullough's y-fronts in a knot. Who? Kevin McCullough, the deservedly obscure twat who was last seen making shit up about Ed Asner's supposed affinity for Uncle Joe Stalin.

The third-rater rants at length here, after consulting with fellow whiner Robert Cox, idiot father of that idiot brainchild, The National Debate. Kev sneers that Romeo Fund isn't even a credentialed blogger, but rather a nasty old MSM man. Fund also committed the unpardonable heresy of "thrice" referring to his online column as a blog, when it is not, is not, IS NOT!

Kev was so outraged by the trespass that his command of the language ... well, actually, I think it stayed the same:

"Bloggers have a right to make a statement about the arrogance of the big media with which we are treated. Whether they be for us or against us from an idealogical standpoint is really beside the point."

Cox, meanwhile, chides Fund for thoughlessly leaving Cox's computer logged onto the Wall Street Journal server after finishing his work, even though it was Cox who stupidly left his laptop available for Fund to access.

Now, if I had a laptop, Mr. Fund wouldn't be touching it. So why couldn't these conservative hardmen keep Fund off their machines? You'll never get Michelle Malkin to return your calls, Kev, if you can't even top John Fund.

Update (2/21): Kevin McCullough e-mailed me to point out that he corrected his claim about Ed Asner when he learned he was mistaken. If you follow the "making shit up" link, above, through Atrios's link to the original WorldNetDaily article, you'll see Mr. McCullough's original article and correction.

Release the Hounds

I'm not sure about these new limits on fox hunting.

Why shouldn't hounds be allowed to tear Hannity and Roger Ailes limb from limb if they can catch them?

Helter, Schmelter

Actually, I think they're comparing Bush to Charles Manson.

Wead Smokes Bush

Now that's news!

"Why should my past prevent me from having a future?"

In the past:

He lied about a Democratic presidential candidate.

He lied about Democratic congressional leaders.

He lied to his employer and his readers when he plagiarized White House press releases.

He lied when conducting interviews, if you believe his current lies.

He lied about his identity.

When he got caught lying about his identity, he lied about the reasons for lying about it, and lied about being harassed.

He lied about his past.

He lied to cover up his lies about his past.

He lied about being subpoenaed by the grand jury, either when he said he had or he said he hadn't been.

He lied to the White House, if you believe the White House.

He lied to his potential johns.

You're absolutely right, James.

Your past shouldn't prevent you from having a bright future as a conservative journalist.

In fact, it should guarantee it.