During a recent holiday season, [Marine] Master Sgt. Robert Allen was stationed in Iraq, far away from his wife back home. So, he wrote a song about how much he missed her and sent it to her on Christmas Eve. According to Allen, his wife Carla “balled her eyes out when she heard it.”

Mrs. Allen, the Newt Gingrich of Marine Corps spouses.

Or, more correctly, Dan Abrams, employer of illiterate fuckheads. Mrs. Allen should take Mediaite for every penny it has.

Herb Cain, Kingmaker

And so the bidding war begins. Which GOP hopeful will put up the most cash and tenderonis to buy purchase Herban Cain's endorsement? Newt Gingrich is the only contender who will look cleaner if Herb's funk rubs off on him, Mitt Romney's desperate enough to do it, and the rest of the field can't afford Herb's lifestyle. It really is a two man race.

Cain Does A Palin

December 3, 2011 (RNN) -- As donations and tenderonis dried up in the wake of charges of adultery, Herman Cain announced today that he has suspended his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination. A julbiant Newt Gingrich (R - K Street) responded to the news by stating, "That's more action for me."

The Law Of The Land

The strange thing about this exchange, which no one seems to have noticed, is that it took place in Iowa:

JANE SCHMIDT: One of my main concerns is government support for the LGBT community. So my question is what would you do to protect GSAs in high school and support the LGBT community.

BACHMANN: Well, No. 1, all of us as Americans have the same rights. The same civil rights. And so that's really what government's role is, to protect our civil rights. There shouldn't be any special rights or special set of criteria based upon people's preferences. We all have the same civil rights.

JANE SCHMIDT: Then, why can't same-sex couples get married?

BACHMANN: They can get married, but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they're a man.

JANE SCHMIDT: Why can't a man marry a man?

BACHMANN: Because that's not the law of the land.

JANE SCHMIDT: So heterosexual couples have a privilege.

BACHMANN: No, they have the same opportunity under the law. There is no right to same-sex marriage.

Because that's not the law of the land.

Remember, this exchange took place in Iowa.

Perhaps Ms. Bachmann means that same-sex couples can't get married at the U.S. Embassay in Teheran.

TBogg is hosting a chat with James Wolcott, author of Lucking Out, on Sunday at 2 p.m. PST, 1 p.m. MST. It's nice to see the boys have settled their East Coast/West Coast feud.

Update 11/3: I seen C-SPAN2 is spending three hours "In Depth" with BoBo Brooks this Sunday. So you have you choice of two of America's greatest living writers, or BoBo Brooks.

How to Succeed In Journalism By Not Really Trying

Now I didn't go to one of them fancy journalism schools, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, but while you had Herb Cain's p.r. flack on the blower, there's some questions you might have wanted to ax said shyster:

Lin Wood, Cain's attorney, told the AJC on Wednesday that he thinks most of the messages were asking for money, which Cain has admitted to providing the Dunwoody woman who has repeatedly faced eviction. Cain has denied a physical relationship with White.

...

"Maintain common sense," Wood said in an interview. "Mr. Cain was extremely busy in his campaign. He didn't have time to send a lot of texts."

...

On Wednesday, Wood sent a letter to White's attorney, Edward Buckley, asking for her phone records to "test her credibility and motive" for coming forward to the media. Wood, in the letter, said he wanted to "ascertain whether the decision to grant interviews was politically motivated and to determine whether she has received or [been] promised money for participating."

Question One: Where are Herb's phone records, Woody Peckerwood? You know, the ones that support your premise that Herb didn't have time to use the phone.

Questions Two through Four: What makes you think that most of the messages were asking for money? Something your client said? And what was your client's response to those messages?

Question Five: If you want those phone records so bad, Woody, why don'tcha file a defamation lawsuit against Ms. White and pound out some discovery requests?

Questions Six and Seven: Who did Herb call after the story broke? Won't those calls will establish whether Herb's denials are politically and financially motivated?