The Cain Scrutiny

Because Herb Cain puns are fast approaching their sell-by date.

Shorter Republican Party

Over at the Cain-Gingrich "Lincoln-Douglas Stylee" debate, Newt Gingrich was waxing poetic about the glories of capitalism with an analogy about the Quarter Pounder with Cheese: "If you open up the bag, and there's no Quarter Pounder with Cheese in there, you're going to be unhappy." Herb Cain, sensing an opportunity, asked Newt, "Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?" Newt responded by playing the experience card, stating that only one of the candidates on stage had successfully committed adultery.

We Are the 1 Percent

Todd Remis demands satisfaction:

In November 2003, Mr. Remis, an equity research analyst, and his fiancée, Milena Grzibovska, stepped into the H & H studio, which was then in Riverdale, met with Mr. Fried and signed a contract to have photographs and videotape taken of their wedding the next month — on Dec. 28 — for $4,100.

It was a small party, with fewer than 40 guests, at Castle on the Hudson in Tarrytown. Photographs show a cheerful bride and groom surrounded by delighted relatives, including Ms. Grzibovska’s mother, Irina, and her sister Alina, who traveled from Latvia.

But a month after the wedding, when Mr. Remis returned to the studio to look over the proofs, he complained that the three-person crew had missed the last 15 minutes — the last dance and the bouquet toss. He noted in a deposition last July that the employees at H & H did not respond in a courtly fashion.

“I remember being yelled at more than I have ever been yelled at before,” Mr. Remis said.

In his lawsuit {filed in 2009], he also complained that the photographs were “unacceptable as to color, lighting, poses, positioning” and that a video, which he had expected to record the wedding’s six hours, was only two hours long.
“I need to have the wedding recreated exactly as it was so that the remaining 15 percent of the wedding that was not shot can be shot,” he testified. (Emphasis added.)

Despite his evident numeracy and analytical skills, Todd hasn't worked since 2008. His wife bailed in 2009. Another victim of the Bush recession.

Shorter Wesley Pruden, Jnr.

Back in the day when there were serious newspapers, the papers wouldn't report a woman's allegations of sexual harassment until my Daddy's friends had killed the harasser.

Pricks Or It Didn't Happen

Herb Cain and his "campaign" have turned their umbrage guns from racist lyncher Rick Perry to G.O.P. house organ PoliticHo:

A Herman Cain aide said Thursday that the Cain campaign is considering its legal options over the original Politico story, which revealed that the former head of the National Restaurant Association was accused of sexually harassing at least two women during his tenure in the 1990s.

"This is likely not over with Politico from a legal perspective," a campaign official told the Post, stopping short of explaining what exactly he meant by taking legal action against the publication.

Meanwhile, the Washington Post stopped short of explaining what exactly stopped it from asking a follow-up question when fed a line of bullshit.

Shorter Dennis Prager

The women callers to my show are maladjusted head cases.