Saturday, November 27, 2010

Roger's Etymology Corner

This blog will be the homepage for the crusade to have "reckonized" reckonized as a legitimate word.

If the OED doesn't add reckonized to its pages by 2012, I will unfriend it on Facebook.

We're also starting a campaign to have anyone who uses "flustrated" involuntarily sterilized, using implements that are not. (Even if it is in some dictionaries.)

Reliable Sources

The Daily Mail reports:

A increasing amount of woman have apparently requesting information from the TSA, regarding if sanitary products are picked up by the body scanners and by all accounts it does.

How can anyone question the reliability of an article like this?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thank You (Falletin Me Be Mice Elf Agin)

Without you I'm nothing.

Eh, you get the picture.

Hacky Thanksgiving

The Hack Thirty created by Alex Pareene reads like the freshman class of the Print Media wing of the Media Whores Online Hall of Fame. Although I can't improve on the list, I'd suggest an alternative lineup with some equally loathsome bloviators and a change in ranking for others:

1. Mickey Kaus

2. Howard Kurtz

3. Mark Halperin

4. Richard Cohen

5. Marty Peretz (tie)

5. Maureen Dowd (tie)

6. David S. Broder

7. Charles Krauthammer

8. Jonah Goldberg

9. William J. Bennett

10. Ross Douthat

11. John Fund

12. Thomas Friedman

13. Dick Morris

14. Thomas Sowell

15. Fred Barnes

16. Ben Stein

17. John Podhoretz

18. Michael Gerson

19. Cal Thomas

20. L. Brent Bozell

21. Bill Kristol

22. Peggy Noonan

23. Jon Meacham

24. Megan McArdle

25. Sally Quinn

26. Debra Saunders

27. David Brooks

28. Al Neuharth

29. Andrew Sullivan

30. George F. Will

Honorable mentions go to Pat Buchanan, John Stossel, Kathryn Jean Lopez, Robert Kagan, Rich Lowry, Mort Kondracke, Lanny Davis, Jeff Jacoby, Andrea Peyser and anyone who has written for Reason.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Grand Old Police Blotter: Justice DeLayed, Justice Not Denied Edition

For the sentence Tom DeLay is about to recieve, we thank you.

AUSTIN, Texas — Former U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay — once one of the most powerful and feared Republicans in Congress — was convicted Wednesday on charges he illegally funneled corporate money to Texas candidates in 2002.

Jurors deliberated for 19 hours before returning guilty verdicts against DeLay on charges of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. He faces up to life in prison on the money laundering charge.

After the verdicts were read, DeLay hugged his daughter, Danielle, and his wife, Christine. His lead attorney, Dick DeGuerin, said they planned to appeal the verdict.

"This is an abuse of power. It's a miscarriage of justice, and I still maintain that I am innocent. The criminalization of politics undermines our very system and I'm very disappointed in the outcome," DeLay told reporters outside the courtroom. He remains free on bond, and his sentencing was tentatively set to begin on Dec. 20.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Climategate!

Reports of fraudulent scholarship on climate science were all true.

An influential [sic] 2006 congressional report [by Edward Wegman of George Mason University] that raised questions about the validity of global warming research was partly based on material copied from textbooks, Wikipedia and the writings of one of the scientists criticized in the report, plagiarism experts say.

Review of the 91-page report by three experts contacted by USA TODAY found repeated instances of passages lifted word for word and what appear to be thinly disguised paraphrases.

The charges of plagiarism don't negate one of the basic premises of the report — that climate scientists used poor statistics in two widely noted papers.

But the allegations come as some in Congress call for more investigations of climate scientists like the one that produced the Wegman report.

"It kind of undermines the credibility of your work criticizing others' integrity when you don't conform to the basic rules of scholarship," Virginia Tech plagiarism expert Skip Garner says.

Weg the Fraud offers a weak as water defense:

"We are not the bad guys and we have never intended that our Congressional testimony was intended to take intellectual credit for any aspect of paleoclimate reconstruction science or for any original research aspect of social network analysis."

Ed, that defense is so shitty it makes Star Wars (SDI) seem plausible in comparison.

John Lott, Jnr. is embarassed for you, dude.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Glenn Greenwald has a very dry sense of humor:

Will Joe Scarborough's multiple GOP donations lead Howie Kurtz to stop saying that MSNBC is a one-party network like Fox is?

After Howie's two-part job interview went so well?

Update (11/21): Mister Kurtz does not disappoint. On Reliable Soreasses this morning, he opined that Scarborough's infractions were not as bad as Olbermann's because Scarborough gave to candidates for state office. One could see the angels dancing on Howie's pinhead as he spoke those words.

What's the difference between the other Roger Ailes and the Hindenburg?

Friday, November 19, 2010

Most. Superfluous. Request. Ever.

Don't touch my junk

By Charles Krauthammer

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Howard Kohr Porn

AIPAC claims that Rosen, who was director of foreign policy issues at the lobby and one of its most senior and well-known employees, had engaged in viewing pornography on AIPAC computers at the lobby's Washington offices. Partial transcripts of the lengthy videotaped deposition of Rosen, which were made public as part of AIPAC's motion, show Rosen admitted to surfing pornographic websites from work. But AIPAC's lawyers insisted on more details.

“Q: What type of pornography?
A: Sexual pornography.
Q: What type? Man on man, man on woman?
A: Anything. Anything that occurred to me.”

Rosen also added more details than, perhaps, the attorney for AIPAC had bargained for.

“I witnessed [AIPAC executive director] Howard Kohr viewing pornographic material, [Kohr's secretary] Annette Franzen viewing pornographic material, probably a dozen other members of the staff,” Rosen said in his deposition. He added that, according to a Nielsen survey, more than a quarter of Americans regularly view pornographic websites at their workplace.

Later in his deposition, the former lobbyist also said he had heard from directors at AIPAC about their visits to prostitutes and he claimed executive director Kohr had routinely used "locker room language" at the AIPAC offices.

How big is the Israel lobby? Depends on what they're looking at.

Bonus query: Do a quarter of Americans regularly have access to a computer at their workplace?

Friday, November 12, 2010

Joe Loserman

Weak teabagger Joe Miller enlists a racist scumbag
to fight his losing battle:

Conservative political consultant Floyd Brown, acting as what he called a "volunteer strategist" for Miller, said the campaign had opened a voter fraud hotline to collect reports he said were flowing in to conservative radio talk show programs claiming bullying of voters, threats of job losses and other forms of purported intimidation aimed at garnering votes for Murkowski.

"There have been serious allegations of voter fraud, voter intimidation, voter bullying," Brown told reporters at the large warehouse where counting of write-in ballots, 98% of them for Murkowski so far, was winding up its second day.

"We encourage people who have been bullied themselves, people who have been told they would lose their jobs ... to call and share their story," Brown said. "Let me just say that Joe Miller takes these allegations of fraud and voter intimidation very seriously."

Retroactive voter intimidation. The number to call is 1-800-356-6887, or 1-800-FKN-NUTS.

How bad is Jim "Third Worst Cartoonist Ever" Davis?
(CNN) -- Jim Davis, the creator of the widely-syndicated "Garfield" comic has issued an apology for an ill-timed strip that ran on Veterans Day.

The strip, which appeared in newspapers nationwide Thursday, shows a spider's thoughts as Garfield the cat is about to crush it with a rolled-up newspaper.

"If you squish me, I shall become famous!" reads the thought bubble in the strip's first panel.

"They will hold an annual day of remembrance in my honor, you fat slob," the spider continues, referring to the pudgy orange cat.

The last panel shows the spider dangling above a teacher's desk while he addresses a group of other spiders: "Does anyone here know why we celebrate 'National Stupid Day?'"

Davis called the strip's appearance on Veterans Day "the worst timing ever."

So bad that CNN's writer didn't get the "gag." The spider in the third panel is supposed to be a different spider, one which is referring to the spider from panels one and two as the reason for commemorating "National Stupid Day." But Davis' artist drew both spiders alike. Not that the joke would be better if he had executed it correctly, but still...

Davis says that particular strip was created over a year ago, presumably meaning he recited the idea into a dictaphone or e-mailed it to the people who actually make the strip in 2009. Of course, this means that if Davis dies tomorrow, this dreck will be running until the end of 2011.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Beast With Three Hacks

Looks like Mickey Kaus and Howard Kurtz soon will be sucking up to the same boss, Tina Brown.

Maybe Tina will get Meghan McCain to edit them both. Couldn't hurt.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

A Sincere Defense of American Exceptionalism

Reality TV star Kim Kardashian has her sights set on the world of finance - she's launching her own credit card in a bid to teach teens how to spend sensibly.

The wealthy socialite has lent her name to the Kardashian Prepaid MasterCard, which will let parents give their kids a small amount of credit so they can keep an eye on their finances.

A representative for Mobile Resource, which is launching the card, says, "Teens do not spend their money as their parents think they do. And, drugs are a huge problem in this country. I give my son a small amount of cash and track his spending on his card."

Kardashian will launch the card at a party at Pacha nightspot in New York on Tuesday night.

To be followed by the Lindsay Lohan adjustable-rate mortgage and the Montana Fishburne Capital One Personal Auto Loan.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Reaming Joe

Keith Olbermann:

I did not make them [the campaign donations] through a relative, friend, corporation, PAC, or any other intermediary, and I did not blame them on some kind of convenient ‘mistake’ by their recipients.

Now that's what I call a curb stomping.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

The "Doctor" Is Out

Howie Kurtz's Charm City lickspittle, David Zurawik, is crapping himself over this bit of programming information. I'm sure Zurawik will be back online to splutter after he gets finished polishing Howie's toupees.

Favorite Zurawik quote: "Really, in all the seminars I had to take to earn a Ph.D. I never heard one person talk the ridiculous hotdog way O'Donnell and Maddow do on these videos -- and a lot of the folks in those seminar rooms were pretty smart. This isn't about intelligence." Really, it isn't, "Doctor" Zurawik. Really really. Zurawik's post sounds like it was written by an elderly, incontinent Holden Caulfield, but without the benefit of J.D. Salinger's talent.

Update: First link fixed.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Rogertainment Tonight

In showbiz news, Randy Quaid has inked a two-picture deal to star in the Jack Brickhouse biopics, Hey Hey and Back to the Warning Track.

The parts of Vince Lloyd and Lou Boudreau have not been cast.

Friday, November 05, 2010

Journalism At Its Finest

From PoliticHO:

But Alabama state campaign finance records show a $5,000 contribution in April from Scarborough, the former Republican congressman who now co-hosts an eponymous morning show on MSNBC and writes a weekly column for POLITICO, to Alabama state legislative candidate John Merrill, who said the two have been close friends since they attended the University of Alabama together.

That contribution should have been in the name of Scarborough’s wife, Susan Scarborough, according to Scarborough’s co-host on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Mika Brzezinski, as well as John R. McGregor III, a representative from the Scarborough’s [sic] Pensacola, Fla., bank.

"The Scarborough's [sic] expect John Merrill will amend his campaign report to accurately reflect that reality," said Brzezinski. "If he does not, I will recommend they file an ethics complaint against him."

Brzezinski also challenged Merrill's recollection of having brought Scarborough to Tuscaloosa for an August 2009 fundraiser for the county Republican Party, which Merrill said "was unbelievably successful. We raised a ton of money that we used to help local candidates."

That event was "was billed as a tribute to Gov. Bob Riley on his retirement from politics," said Brzezinski, noting that Riley and Scarborough served together in Congress and asserting, "Any suggestion that Joe Scarborough went to the University event to raise money for a political party is false. Sadly, many politicians try to elevate their standing by exaggerating their connection to Joe. This is one of those cases."
Survey says - Brzezinski lies:
This year the dinner will honor Governor Bob Riley, who has brought positive recognition to the Republican Party and served our state with admiration and distinction. The Tuscaloosa County Republican Party is privileged to have the opportunity to honor a man of his character and integrity. All funds generated by the dinner are used by the Tuscaloosa County Republican Party to strengthen the Republican Party and help elect Republicans at the local, state, and national levels. We are certain The Fourth Annual Lincoln Reagan Dinner will be our most successful year yet.

When Joe was told that a Lincoln Reagan Dinner was a vehicle to raise money for the Republican Party, you could have knocked him over with a lying sack of shit.

Oh, and about that "on his retirement from politics" business?

Bob Riley is the present Governor of Alabama.

But wait, there's more:

But earlier in the day, Merrill, who cruised to an easy win this week, was under a very different impression when he spoke with POLITICO.

"We've been friends for 28 years and we stayed in touch all those years, when he was in Congress and when he got the show," Merrill said of Joe Scarborough. "When I announced, he told me he was going to help me and he wanted me to be successful,” Merrill said, recalling Scarborough's offering to lend his star power to the campaign.

Somebody needs to put an accurate script in front of Brzezinski. Because this making shit up business isn't working any better than Scarborough's hiding behind his wife.

Update (11/6): PoliticHO has corrected its (not it's) punctuation and made other changes to the linked article since this post was published, without noting that such changes were made. It is the practice of this blog to cut-and-paste directly from any source quoted in a post. Roger Ailes always quotes sources accurately, and is not responsible for the shitty writing on other websites.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

What do Mickey Kaus and Carly Fiorina have in common?

They're both Republican losers.

Carly still has her hair though.

Welcome to the Era of the Weeping Boehner

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Detovi

Don't let my horrific polling place experience stop you from voting.

The Onion elaborates:

Election Day Voting Tip: The new electronic voting machines are complicated, but don't worry. Octogenarians will be on hand to troubleshoot any technological problems you might have.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Skullfucking Of Irony

Megan McArdle:

why can't spammers write coherently?

We get the opinion leaders we deserve.