Monday, November 30, 2009

JonJon Meacham writes about the aftermath of Liz Cheney's promotion of Dick2012! bid:

After Liz Cheney's remark on Fox News, a flood of subsequent e-mails asked her, "Where do I sign up?"

Think about this for a minute.

Did JonJon actually see the e-mails? Or did Liz tell him about the e-mails, mostly likely in the V.I.P. orgy room at Morning Joe? If the latter, shouldn't JonJon have written: "Liz Cheney asserts that her e-mail box was flooded... and I couldn't be bothered to find out what she meant by 'flooded.'"

More fundamentally, who has Liz Cheney's e-mail address? Not very many people, and even fewer Dick-haters, I'd wager. So why is JonJon breathlessly spreading rumors about the contents of Liz's in box as if they have any significance? Are suck-up e-mails the new 538.com?

And, really, JonJon -- "After ... a flood of subsequent ...." Doesn't Newsweek have any editors?

Link via Blue Texan at FDL

Spencer Ackerman pimp slaps Fred Barnes:

That means by the end of Obama's first year in office, he'll have ordered more troops into the Afghan war than were there when he was elected president. Believing that Obama would oppose a U.S. troop increase under a counterfactional conditional requires actively ignoring shitloads of evidence. In fairness, if you read Barnes's book about Bush, you’ll learn that under the ex-president's stewardship, "al Qaeda and the Taliban had been subdued in Afghanistan," making this whole war thing rather hard to understand.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Headlines We'd Like to See

Golfer Woods Slams Caddy Into Tree

What, all the good headline writers took the weekend off?

Update (11/30):

Howard Kurtz: Why do you call me "Short Game," Russell?

Russell: You're all putz.

School For Scandalmongerers

This Climategate "scandal" isn't getting much traction outside the wingnutosphere. Perhaps if Jim Hoft dressed up as a pimp, and persuaded Al Roker to raise his 5-day forecast by five degrees in exchange for full service from Mark Steyn, the mainstream media would give it more attention.

I'm sure Hoft would jump at the opportunity.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Logrolling for Dick

CNN is retyping the press releases for a new "Draft Cheney" website:

Washington (CNN) – A new group wants former Vice President Dick Cheney back in the White House.

The organization - "Draft Dick Cheney 2012" - launched on Friday, and unveiled their new Web site. Their aim: To convince the former vice president to seek the Republican presidential nomination in the next race for the White House. But there may be a major roadblock to the group's pitch - Cheney himself.

"The 2012 race for the Republican nomination for President will be about much more then who will be the party's standard bearer against Barack Obama, the race is about the heart and soul of the GOP," said Christopher Barron, one of the organizers of the Draft Cheney movement. "There is only one person in our party with the experience, political courage and unwavering commitment to the values that made our party strong – and that person is Dick Cheney."

The movement's website itself looks more like a store for crap political merchandise than a credible campaign to draft Darth Dick. You can give $2,300.00 to the draft movement, and buy Cheney 2012 "apparal," but there's not much on how the movement plans to entice Dick back into the arena.

And these particular Dickophiles won't get much support once Republicans get a look at their leader:

GOPROUD, the new 527 group, will launch next week, according to a media advisory. The contact given for the group is Christopher Barron, a former Log Cabin political director who broke with the group.

"Essentially, there's no voice for gay Republicans or gay conservatives in particular in D.C. right now. Log Cabin has been completely and totally absent here in D.C. for months and months," Barron said. "It has simply moved way too far to the left and is basically indistinguishable from any other gay left organization." ...

His group would, he said, focus on traditional Republican issues like private health care and private savings accounts.

Many Republican dead-enders love dick, just not in that way. The bigots and bloodlusters who make up Dick Cheney's fan base aren't going to be led by a gay man, let alone subsidize him.

It's just as well Draft Cheney isn't going anywhere. Dicky's ticker wouldn't survive the eight more years of college and attempts at procreation necessary to avoid the draft.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Wedding Planner

Since sex and drugs are the only sane reasons to be a libertarian, how do you explain this?

I'd snark, but given Megan and I frequently make CBO jokes when drawing up wedding budgets, it's probably best I refrain.

I suppose when your livelihood involves astroturfing for Dick Armey, you take your pleasure where you can find it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Frank Rich caught the same whiff of brimstone from Palin's faux-philo-Semitism as I did:

but when Barbara Walters did ask some, Palin either recycled Dick Cheney verbatim (Obama is “dithering”) or ran aground. Her argument for why “Jewish settlements” should be expanded on the West Bank was that “more and more Jewish people will be flocking to Israel in the days and weeks and months ahead.” It was unclear what she was talking about — unless it was the “rapture” theology that requires the mass return of Jews to settle the Holy Land as a precondition for the return of Christ.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Those of you doing your early holiday shopping for your good pal Roger might wish to click here.

The one that comes with the bottle of Patrón is my favorite.

I Want My Apocalypse Now

WALTERS: The Obama administration does not want Israel to build any more settlements on what they consider Palestinian territory. What is your view on this?

PALIN: I disagree with the Obama administration on that. I believe that the Jewish settlements should be allowed to be expanded upon, because that population of Israel is, is going to grow. More and more Jewish people will be flocking to Israel in the days and weeks and months ahead. And I don’t think that the Obama administration has any right to tell Israel that the Jewish settlements cannot expand

WALTERS: Even if it's [in] Palestinian areas?

PALIN: I believe that the Jewish settlements should be allowed to be expand.

Why will "more and more" Jews be "flocking to Israel in the days and weeks and months ahead"? And why might Sharia Plain want them to?

Though there are myriad interpretations of how it will play out, the basic Christian apocalyptic countdown - as described by the Book of Revelation in the New Testament - is as follows:

Jews return to Israel after 2,000 years, the Holy Temple is rebuilt, billions of people perish during seven years of natural disasters and plagues, the antichrist arises and rules the world, the battle of Armageddon erupts in the vicinity of Israel, Jesus returns to defeat Satan's armies and preside over Judgment Day.

That would be darn awesome!

The First Lunar War

Internecine combat has broken out in Wingnuttia, between Richard "Minty" Miniter and two of the conservatismdom's biggest organs. Minty has now lawyered up with another wingnut organ, Krazy Kounsellor Klayman.

Let the games begin!

Richard Miniter, the ousted editor, made headlines this week claiming that he was "coerced" into attending a Unification Church mass wedding conducted by church's leader, Rev. Sun Myung Moon. He also claimed age discrimination—he's 42—and has said that the Times didn't want to pay his high salary. His complaint to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission was reported first by Talking Points Memo.

His lawyer, Larry Klayman, hoped the EEOC complaint would lead to a deal, but he says that hasn't happened and tomorrow he plans to step up his legal attack on the newspaper. "You ain't seen nothing yet," he says.

This isn't Miniter's first legal tussle with a publisher. Whispers learns that he recently lost a case with his book publisher, Regnery Publishing Inc., and was having his Times biweekly wages garnished. Under the court order, he was paying $1,325.08 out of each paycheck as he worked off a $159,428.28 judgment.

According to documents in U.S. District Court case No. 08-709, Regnery paid the New York Times bestselling author $238,333 in advance royalties for two books. The first payment was for Disinformation . He was to get another $116,667 when the manuscript of his second book was delivered. But the two got in a fight over the second book, and it was never written. Miniter suggested a book titled Hunting Zarqawi and said he'd need $96,206 to research it. Regnery balked, and the arbitrator agreed that Regnery wasn't required to pay anything before receiving the manuscript of the second book. The federal court ordered his wages garnished beginning in March.

Of course, now Miniter isn't being paid, the result of his ouster, and it is unclear how the judgment would continue if the Times makes a deal.

Miniter is also involved in another case with Eagle Publishing Inc., in which he and others claim they weren't paid proper royalties.

Is there such a thing as a cesspool of vipers?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Real America

Wes Pruden's dad, being a natural-born citizen, was able to show little Wes what the real America is all about:

Born and raised in Arkansas, Pruden has a deep-rooted affection for Dixie. His father, the Rev. Wesley Pruden Sr., was a leading spokesperson for Little Rock's racist Capital Citizens Council, which fought bitterly against school desegregation in the 1950s and 1960s. During the landmark confrontations at Little Rock High School in 1957, when President Dwight Eisenhower sent National Guard troops to protect nine black teenagers as they entered the white school, Pruden Sr. reportedly told the assembled mob: "That's what we've got to fight! Niggers, Communists, and cops!"

Little Wesley learned his lessons well, stating in 1988, "God bless the Confederate States of America." He regrets only that his daddy didn't lynch the President's father when such things were the order of the day in "the American mainstream."

Monday, November 16, 2009

Meet Your Liberal Media

Chunky David Faustino (or it is Chunky Kenny Craig?) has been given a blog by The New York Times, where he's allowed, if not encouraged, to spout drivel such as this gem declaring that anti-choicers are the new feminists.

Next up, Scott Roeder is the new Sojourner Truth, plus Ross' letters to Frumhouse Forum (NSFW).

Ross has wisely decided to moderate comments to his blog, so no one can remind Times' readers of the quality of Ross' work before he was given a Times column. Although it can't hurt to try.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Query

Did the RNC's health insurance coverage pay for the nineteen rubber johnnies that Blake Hall disposed of on his former girlfriend's lawn?

If so, will he be forced to resort to direct deposit now that the policy's being changed?

For I Was Hungry, But The District Recognized Gay Marriage, So You Let Me Starve to Death

The very Christ-like Catholic Church takes a stand:

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.

Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.

"If the city requires this, we can't do it," Susan Gibbs, spokeswoman for the archdiocese, said Wednesday. "The city is saying in order to provide social services, you need to be secular. For us, that's really a problem."

Then don't take the millions of dollars ($8.2M from 2006-2008, according the article) that the District gives you. That money can be given to actual humanitarian organizations, and you can spend your parishoners' money on the Pope's latest Prada outfits, incense and buying the silence of former altar boys. Ptoblem solved.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Grand Old Police Blotter: Blake's Semen Edition

If you're a Republican, a little thing like a criminal conviction's not going to keep you from collecting a public paycheck:
But [Blake] Hall, 56, will keep his $31,000-a-year job as the civil attorney in nearby Fremont County, according to Prosecutor Joette Lookabaugh, a Republican who hired Hall in January.

Lookabaugh said she told Hall he would keep his job "unless or until his ability to do an outstanding job for Fremont County citizens is compromised."

In a news release, Lookabaugh suggested Hall was singled out because of his notoriety.

"I understand that political figures are held to a higher standard," she said. "What is disturbing is the fact that often people who have devoted their lives to public service are not given the same benefits, or are treated more harshly, than the public at large. There seems to be a certain amount of political glee in striking down the well-known for any real or perceived foible."

And what made Hall so notorious, foible-wise?

Blake Hall, a leading figure in Idaho and national politics for 25 years, was fired Monday as a deputy prosecuting attorney in eastern Idaho and has resigned from the Republican National Committee.

Hall, a former member of the state Board of Education, pleaded guilty Friday to stalking a former girlfriend and is serving a 15-day jail sentence. He also was sentenced to a year of supervised probation. A six-month jail sentence was suspended.

Idaho Falls police reported that witnesses said Hall disposed of used condoms on the lawn of the woman's house. Nineteen condoms were turned over to police, collected on 10 different dates, according to a police report. Both Hall and his lawyer acknowledged the condoms belonged to him, according to a police report.

Also, between March and August, Hall repeatedly followed the woman to restaurants, the movies and her home, and he ignored her repeated requests that he leave her alone, according to police and court records.

But that's not the part that was disturbing to Joette.

Rest assured, members of the Idaho State Bar. If you're a nobody who stalks and harasses a woman and deposits your used scumbags on the woman's lawn, you'll get just the same consideration of your resume from Fremont County as does a politically-connected sex offender applying for the same position. And apparently the State won't yank your license!

Blake's got some mad civil litigation skills, too, according to the police report (see sidebar in above link):

I asked Hall if he left the condoms on the _________ property. Hall told me that he did not. I aksed him if we would find his DNA within the bodly fluids inside the condoms. Hall paused, and then told me it was possible that __________ had gotten into his trash, removed the condoms, and placed them on her own lawn (over a period of several weeks). Hall told me that this might possibly explain how the condoms did originate from him.

A genius like that could tell a jury anything. Although I suspect he'll have trouble finding many people who will make a handshake deal with him.

It won't surprise anyone that Hall owns a red BMW, a red Lexus and a purple Honda Ridgeline.

(Link via Wonkette.)

The Rasmussen Distort

Is there a more worthless polling organziation than Rasmussen? (Don't worry, Frank Luntz, we haven't forgotten you and your grease-laden rug!)

Here's Scotty Rasmussen's latest dump:

Sixty percent (60%) of likely voters nationwide say last week's shootings at Fort Hood should be investigated by military authorities as a terrorist act.

The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that just 27% want the incident investigated by civilian authorities as a criminal act. Another 13% are not sure.

In order of importance:

Does that 60 percent want military authorities to conclude that the shootings were a terroist act? If so, they don't want an investigation at all.

In the real world, the options aren't simply (1) investigation by the military as a terrorist act or (2) investigation by civilian authorities as a criminal act. The military investigates crimes which aren't terrorist acts and civil authorities investigate crimes which are terrorist acts. Both can investigate either, and they can investigate simultaneously. The question forces the respondents to make a false choice, except for that 13 percent that undoubtedly told Scotty Rasmussen to go fuck himself with a bent poll.

And why is Scotty polling likely voters? Do we get to vote on who conducts the investigation?

It's obvious what's going on. Scotty knows that most people understand a shooting by military officer who kills military personnel on a military base will be, and should be, investigated by the military. But he wants people to say the shooting was a terrorist act. So he drafts a question that gets people who recognize the former to say the latter.

Scotty's just another scumbag who exploits a tragedy for political purposes. No wonder he's got Mickey Kaus' endorsement on his website.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Shorter Ann Althouse: Harvey Levin is a Jewy un-Christian Jew. Who seeks to destroy young Christian women through his un-Christian acts.

This from the dimwit who claimed that Michael Moore's latest film was anti-Semitic because some of the capitalists featured were Jewish. As ever, Alchouse speaks out of both sides of her ass.

At least she hasn't given up her obsession with young women's breasts.

Warning: link to the Alchouse.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

I hate shit like this:
One Democratic strategist said that shortly after an appearance on Fox he got a phone call from a White House official telling him not to be a guest on the show again. The call had an intimidating tone, he said.

The message was, "We better not see you on again," said the strategist, who spoke on condition of anonymity so as not to run afoul of the White House. An implicit suggestion, he said, was that "clients might stop using you if you continue."

In urging Democratic consultants to spurn Fox, White House officials might be trying to isolate the network and make it appear more partisan.
And by shit, I mean journalism by Peter Nicholas.

The first paragraph asserts a claim from an anonymous source, concerning an unnamed offical, and the second and third paragraphs assume the claim to be true. The article makes no effort to inform the reader as to what motive anon. might have in making the claim, what anon.'s political views are, whether anon. had another candidate in '08, etc. By refusing to identify the "White House official," the author makes it impossible to rebut the claim with an unequivocal denial. And, of course, any douchebag can call him or herself a Democratic strategist (see Marshall Wittman, Dan Gerstein, etc.).

The article goes on to quote Pat Caddell, DILDO (Democrat In the Last Decade Only). (Yes, this is incorrect, because Caddell hasn't been a Dem. for more than 20 years (see below), but DMT20YAO is not as snappy.)
But Patrick Caddell, a Fox News contributor and a former pollster for Democratic President Jimmy Carter, said he has spoken to Democratic consultants who have been told by the White House to avoid appearances on Fox. He declined to give their names.

Caddell said he had not gotten that message himself from the White House. "They know better than to tell me anything like that," he said.
Very butch, Pattycakes! Just like the White House knows better than to tell Sean Hannity not to appear on FOX News. There's some people you just don't push around.
Here's what Nicholas fails to tell you about FOX News' own Jack Elam:
In 1988, Caddell left the Democratic Party after an acrimonious lawsuit with a Democratic consulting firm. Republicans would often cite Caddell's tirades against the Democratic Party on the floor of the House and the Senate.
...

His analysis on polls and campaign issues often puts him at odds with the current leadership of the Democratic Party. He has been criticized as often attacking Democratic politicians and predicting the downfall of the Democratic party. Critics point out that he has defended the Bush administration by claiming that Republicans did not exploit the issue of gay marriage in the presidential election of 2004. He also referred to Democrats in the House who voted against the Palm Sunday Compromise, which sought to reinstate Terri Schiavo's feeding tube, as "cold blooded" and denounced them.
Nicholas quotes an anonymous (and most likely, pretend) Dem. and a Frozen Caveman Dem. from the Miami Vice era to bash the Obama White House. To be any more dishonest, he'd have to disinter Strom Thurmond and have his remains denounce Barry X on behalf of the Democratic Party.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Ailes Exclusive: Stills From THE TAPE

I didn't realize it was so public.

That's what I call "Values!"

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Grand Old Police Blotter: Guiliani Partners In Crime Edition

The homeland feels more secure already:

Bernard B. Kerik, New York City’s former police commissioner, is expected to plead guilty on Thursday to a single conspiracy charge in an agreement that would resolve the three pending federal criminal trials he faces in New York and Washington, people with knowledge of the matter said Wednesday. The deal, they say, could send him to jail for almost three years.

I wish no harm to Judy Regan's consort, but I'm guessing the man is feeling nostaligic for the Green Zone right about now.

P.S. Heh.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Here's how you hold onto a seat:

In early returns, Garamendi led Republican David Harmer by 57 percent to 38 percent. Green Party candidate Jeremy Cloward, American Independent Jerome Denham and Peace and Freedom candidate Mary McIlroy were far behind.

Like a contested congressional race in New York and gubernatorial showdowns in Virginia and New Jersey, conservatives sought to portray the election results in the Bay Area congressional contest as a referendum on President Obama's administration and a harbinger of voter attitudes for the 2010 midterm elections.

Actually, most wingnuts realized Harmer was in for a gigantic ass-kicking, and pretended the race didn't exist. But here's some good news:

Garamendi said a representative from Pelosi's office urged him to fly to Washington, D.C., today so he could be sworn into office on Thursday.

"I may very well be there this weekend to provide a critical vote on health care," Garamendi told The Chronicle Tuesday. "I would be very happy to make that yes vote my first vote in Congress."

David Hasselhoff No Longer The Biggest Loser With "Hoff" in His Name

Kudos to the Republican Party for losing a lock twice, first with their own candidate, and then with their adopted one.

As for you, Doug E. Fail, the next time you run for election, try doing it with campaign workers smart enough not to drive over broken glass and without the racist dregs of the internet and basic cable.

Monday, November 02, 2009

The best revenge would be to offer Christie a wafer-thin mint.

(Yes, I am sure 100 people have already proffered this gag.)