Monday, September 28, 2009

Eggs, Matt Drudge Style

Matt Drudge's egg-sucking fans in the wingnutosphere have been egg creaming themselves over this eggspose on the chromeheaded Republican's website:


A local TV station that reported on Chicagoans NOT wanting the Olympics has been told NOT to run the report again, insiders tell the DRUDGE REPORT!

The Chicago Olympic Committee told FOX Chicago that its broadcast "would harm Chicago's chances" to be awarded the games.

The station's news director ordered staff to hold fire after the report aired once last Thursday morning, claims a source.

Chicago, Madrid, Tokyo and Rio are mounting strong bids for the honor to host in 2016.

The International Olympic Committee makes its decision on Friday. President Obama will lead the in-person push.


Add "ordered" to the list of words Drudge and his groupies don't know the meaning of, along with "truth," "integrity," "reading comprehension," "hygiene" and "developing."

Of course, the story is providing fuel for the wingnuts' Obama as Hitler sexual fantasies, despite the fact that the egg-fucker doesn't identify anybody but the FOX affiliate "ordering" the FOX affiliate not to do anything.

(No link to the egg fucker.)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

This Just In

Mohammed Atta still was not in Prague.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

A Unified Theory of Republicanism

This could explain Republicanism in general and Bill Bennett and Dick Morris in specific.

Not Girlyman Enough

A blurb on Memeorandum

Megan Fox / New York Post:

Prez comes across as a gullible sap — President Obama yesterday did his best impression of a high-school soph omore participating in his first Model UN meeting, retailing pious clichés he learned from his pony-tailed social studies teacher. — Even Woodrow Wilson might have blanched ...

actually leads to Little Richard Lowry.

Who does his best impression everyday of an eight-year old desperate for attention from his mother, Jeane Kirkpatrick.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Hairless troll doll Mark Levin (pronounced "La-VEENE") can't stand mindless incoherence:

Beck’s opinion elicited a fierce and angry response from right-wing radio host Mark Levin yesterday. "To say [McCain] would be worse is mindless, mindless, incoherent as a matter of fact," Levin said on his radio show. He then suggested Beck is playing politics: "I don't know who people are playing to. I don't know why they're playing to certain people."

Which explains his self-loathing:

Levin is so angry with McCain that he vowed on yesterday's edition of his syndicated show to do anything in his power to prevent the Arizona Republican from receiving his party's 2008 presidential nomination. On tonight's show, he said he would rather vote for his dogs than McCain.

Of course, McCain won't lick Levin's balls when he puts dog food on them.

The balls, not the dogs.

To recap: Ball-licking dogs > McCain > Obama.

Monday, September 21, 2009

What A Barone!

Michael Barone, author of the Almanac of Made-Up Shit About Politics, rewrites history faster than Harvard scrubs the name Barone from its buildings:

Speaker Nancy Pelosi has warned us that there's a danger that intense rhetoric can provoke violence, and no decent person wants to see harm come to our president or other leaders. But it's interesting that the two most violent incidents at this summer's town hall meetings came when a union thug beat up a 65-year-old black conservative in Missouri and when a liberal protester bit off part of a man's finger in California.

These incidents don't justify a conclusion that all liberals are violent. But they are more evidence that American liberals, unused to hearing dissent, have an impulse to shut it down.

Mikey has aged Fraudney King at least 20 years. He also fails to note that the Californian lost his finger after punching someone in the face, and that there is at least a dispute as to whether Fraudney was the initial aggressor. But Barone's never been a fan of facts.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Talk To The Land

This jurist seems like the ideal replacement for Justices Scalia and Thomas.

Con Baby Gone

His last words were "Norman Podhoretz still lives ... if you call that living."

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Freedom Isn't Free

The bamboozlement economy is showing no signs of recovery:

Unfortunately, this site is no longer available due to nonpayment on the part of Kenneth's attorney, David Brown.

The site will resume normal operation once payment is received.

More here on 'Bagger "Buttons" Brown, hearse chaser, at this link.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Kibbes 'N' Shits

The lying sacks on the record, and that record should be repeated incessantly:

Matt Kibbe, president of FreedomWorks, the conservative organization behind the event, told the protesters that ABC News was reporting that 1 million to 1.5 million people had showed up. At the same time, the U.K.'s Daily Mail put out an estimate of up to 2 million people attending the day's festivities.

At that point, the floodgates of enthusiasm washed through the blogosphere. Predictable cheerleader Michelle Malkin wrote that she heard the turnout was estimated at 2 million. (She wasn't at the event but that didn't stop her from hitting the "publish" button.) By Saturday night, however, ABC printed a story denying it had ever reported the 1 to 1.5 million number. (Malkin later published an acknowledgment that FreedomWorks was in error.)

Newsbuster's [sic] Matthew Sheffield was equally exultant but put out a lower estimate. "Estimates for crowd sizes are starting to come in. We're talking at least a million people, folks," he wrote.
As Nate Silver says, "[Kibbe] lied. He did the equivalent of telling people that his penis is 53 inches long." Or 3.
The exception to Godwin's Law that proves the rule.

You Lie

Conservative activists, who organized a march on the U.S. Capitol today in protest of the Obama administration's health care agenda and government spending, erroneously attributed reports on the size of the crowds to ABC News.

Matt Kibbe, president of FreedomWorks, the group that organized the event, said on stage at the rally that ABC News was reporting that 1 million to 1.5 million people were in attendance.

At no time did ABC News, or its affiliates, report a number anywhere near as large. reported an approximate figure of 60,000 to 70,000 protesters, attributed to the Washington, D.C., fire department. In its reports, ABC News Radio described the crowd as "tens of thousands."


As a result of Kibbe's erroneous attribution, several bloggers and commenters repeated the misinformation.

You should apply the same proportions when adjusting for a wingnut's claims as to i.q., hit count and genital size.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Grand Old Police Blotter: Instacracker's Heroes Edition

A true Clenn Reynolds Republican demonstrates his family values:

Steve Nunn, a former Kentucky GOP lawmaker and gubernatorial candidate was found by police this afternoon with slit wrists in the cemetery where his parents lie buried. Hours earlier, Nunn's former fiancée had been found shot to death in a Lexington parking lot.

According to the local sheriff, Nunn, 57, placed mementos on his parents' graves, moved several feet away, then cut his wrists. The sheriff, Chris Eaton, said Nunn had initially told police he had shot himself, and was found in possession of a handgun, but had no gunshot wound. Nunn was taken via ambulance to the hospital.

Nunn's former fiancée, Amanda Ross, was found dead this morning. A neighbor told reporters she heard five shots and screams at 6:11 a.m. in a courtyard outside Ross's condominium. Ross was 29 and worked for the state's Department of Insurance. A police spokesman said investigators have leads.

Nunn was arrested after being taken to the hospital, for allegedly violating a protective order against Ross, by carrying the handgun. Eaton, who said he's been a friend of Nunn for around 20 years, said Nunn's mood was "solemn to a point" and "at that time didn't make any comments" about Ross's shooting.

Nunn is the son of Louie Nunn, the state's last GOP governor, from 1967 to 1971, until Ernie Fletcher was elected in 2003. Steve Nunn -- who spent what he has called his "formative years" in the governor's mansion -- received just 13 percent of the vote running against Fletcher in the gubernatorial primary that year. He is also a former state legislator.

Dr. Mrs. Instacracker no doubt suspects that Ross was the real culprit.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

An Incredibly Bad Idea

Kidnapping suspect Phillip Garrido recorded love songs years ago that suggested he was fond of young girls, a former customer of Garrido's home-based printing business said.

Former Antioch glass shop owner Marc Lister said Friday that he dug up the music after Garrido, 58, and his 54-year-old wife, Nancy Garrido, were charged in the alleged kidnapping and rape of Jaycee Lee Dugard. Both Garridos have pleaded not guilty.


Lister, who hired Garrido to print his business cards and invoices, said he plans to share the music with law enforcement if they want it but also hopes to raise money from it for abused women and children.

Perhaps Mr. Lister will call it "Rock and Roll Part 3."

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Secret Police Wanted: Apply Within

Now that he's finally mastered breathing, libertarian moron Clayton Cramer turns his thoughts to Big Brother. He quotes the following post from Ken "Boehm Boehm" Boehm at the "National Legal and Policy Center."

NLPC has uncovered a plan by the White House New Media operation to hire a technology vendor to conduct a massive, secret effort to harvest personal information on millions of Americans from social networking websites.
The information to be captured includes comments, tag lines, emails, audio, and video. The targeted sites include Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, YouTube, Flickr and others – any space where the White House "maintains a presence."

In the course of investigating procurement by the White House New Media office, NLPC discovered a 51-page solicitation of bids that was filed on Friday, August 21, 2009. Filed as Solicitation # WHO-S-09-0003, it is posted at [REDACTED].com [sic]. Click here to download a 51-page pdf of the solicitation.

Try to stop laughing.

Now picture Clayton as he strokes his beard and muses, "If The Bush White House Had Let A Contract Like This...."

Now try to stop laughing again.

(DO NOT GO to the site named in this blurb, as it tries to load some sort of spyware on your computer. The correct name of the site ends in .gov.)

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Bedlam Is Dreaming Of Rain

A placard reads "the end of days"
Jacaranda boughs are bending in the haze
More a question than a curse
How could hell be any worse?
The flames are stunning
The cameras running
So take warning!

When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
Palm trees are candles in the murder wind
So many lives are on the breeze
Even the stars are ill at ease
And Los Angeles is burning
His Mouth Is Moving

Michael Goldfarb reporting something that's not true?

He's learning well from his master, Bill Kristol.

Update (9/2): Goldflab goes on the offensive! He criticizes the Daily News for "caryring water for the group [WWF] without asking any tough questions...." Funny, since Goldflab published first, and never asked any questions later.

What a Barone!

Simpering wingnut Michael "The Barone-ass" Barone is outraged that the Washington Post is publishing the actual words of his fellow Republicans:

Item number one on the Macaca Watch is the Sunday front page story on the thesis Bob McDonnell wrote in 1989 at Regent University where he obtained a masters degree in public policy and a law degree. This is, as the story acknowledged, a publicly available document and its contents would certainly be a legitimate part of an article on McDonnell's background and the evolution of his political views. But the first paragraph of the story, prominently on the front page, sends the culturally liberal voters of Northern Virginia in the Post's local circulation area a pretty clear message: you better not vote for this guy. He went to an "evangelical" school (Regent University Law School), described feminists as "detrimental" and "said government policy should favor married couples over 'cohabitors, homosexuals or fornicators.'"

The Barone-ass is particularly outraged that a media outlet would engage in such politically biased reporting without writing him a paycheck.

The Barone-ass doesn't accuse the Post of misrepresenting the facts -- after all, he's not talking about a Krauthammer/Will/Cohen column. No, he's enraged because the Post is reporting facts which liberals might enjoy reading more than his fellow wingnuts. But Barone hasn't finished spluttering yet:

Item number two on the Macaca watch is Tuesday's front page story headlined "Governor's Race Erupts Over McDonnell’s Past View." The "eruption" consists of a bunch of emails sent out by Democrats quoting from McDonnell’s thesis and a McDonnell conference call with reporters answering questions — pretty routine campaign stuff, hardly front page material.

Is a conference call in which reporters answer questions really a routine campaign event, or is Barone just a shitty writer?

Yes, sending e-mails and taking reporters' questions are routine campaign events. It's the subject of the e-mails and questions -- McDonnell's repulsive bigotry -- which makes them front page news. Sexism and hatred of gays isn't front page news in The Barone-ass' G.O.P. circles, of course. It's the public disclosure of such rancid views that offends Barone.