Monday, September 22, 2008

The New Underclass

Won't somebody think of the children?

A nose job in a hospital with a private nurse in attendance had been something of a rite of passage for Joan Asher's children. But when her fourth and last child was ready for her own rhinoplasty recently, Ms. Asher asked her to postpone it.

The financial markets were simply more out of whack than her 16-year-old's proboscis.

"The other noses were more prominent," the stay-at-home mother from a tony New York City suburb in Westchester County told her 16-year-old daughter. She could get hers done when things settled down.

The financial crisis on Wall Street has New York's well-to-do reeling. The people who fuel the area's economy with their spending on art, fashion, cars, restaurants, plastic surgery and other luxe goods and services are starting to cut back once-lavish budgets. As a result, those who cater to their every whim -- from nanny agencies to jewelers to yacht builders -- are seeing clients tighten their belts on expenses from the millions to the thousands.

Fortunately, our story has a happy ending:

Ms. Asher was able to let her daughter get her nose job before school began after plastic surgeon Alan Matarasso said he could do the procedure in his office operating room on Manhattan's Upper East Side for about $2,500 less than if they went to a hospital, stayed overnight and hired a nurse. At home, Ms. Asher stayed up most of the night after the surgery, putting cold compresses on her daughter's eyes every 20 minutes. "She was fine," she says. "It came out great."

Sure, Joan had to stay up most of the night. But at least she didn't have to get a job.

The story doesn't mention whether Ms. Asher got a kickback from the freakish publicity-crazed Dr. Matarasso for yammering about her 16 year old's nose job on the front page of the Weekend Journal.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Trip To Nowhere

Shorter Sharia Palin lickspittle: We approved Monegan's travel to Washington D.C. on official business, but we had no idea why he was going there, we couldn't imagine it was for lobbying, and when we found out it was to obtain funds for a rape prevention program to benefit victims of sexual violence, we were justifiably outraged.

You can make this shit up.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

No On Hate

The will of the majority:

Opposition to a California ballot measure to ban same-sex marriage is mounting following Attorney General Jerry Brown's move to change the language on the initiative, according to a Field Poll to be released today.

The poll found that just 38 percent of likely voters support the measure, while 55 percent intend to vote no. That compares with 42 percent in support and 51 percent opposed in July.

Brown amended the Proposition 8 summary language after the state Supreme Court's decision on May 15 to overturn California's previous ban on same-sex marriage.

Golden!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Revisionist Hysteria

Special Ed Morrissey is a big, blubbering baby. The pretend seaman who called Patrick Henry a puss (scroll down) is in full tantrum mode today:

David Freddoso attempted to appear on Milt Rosenberg's WGN radio show last night, and just as when Stanley Kurtz tried to talk on the same show, the Barack Obama campaign organized a disruption of the show. The campaign sent out an e-mail to supporters in the area sliming Freddoso as an "extreme" hate monger, a "smear merchant", and attempted to silence him despite Rosenberg having an Obama surrogate on the show:

Yes, according to Blubbering Ed, Obama supporters tried to disrupt a radio call-in show and silence the show's guest by calling into the show. Because if enough people call into a radio show, the station's transmitters fail and the guest dies a painful death.

Blubbering Ed isn't even clear on whether Fredo appeared on the show; so disruptive were the telephone calls that the manful Fredo could only "attempt" to appear.

The only change Special Ed can believe in is when he soils himself.

(No link to Special Ed.)

The Expectations Game

What this country needs right now, more than anything, is a leader who can speak without reading from a teleprompter.

I think it's fair to say that this is Governor Palin's greatest accomplishment.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Coming next: McCain promises that a war with Iran will revitalize the economy.

Feel The Whoo Hoo!

Sept. 15 (Bloomberg) -- Washington Mutual Inc., the biggest U.S. savings and loan, had its credit rating cut to junk by Standard & Poor's because of the deteriorating housing market.

S&P reduced its rating on Seattle-based WaMu to BB- from BBB-, leaving it three levels below investment grade, the ratings firm said today in a statement.

"Increasing market turmoil and the related impact from managing its concentrated mortgage franchise in this troubled housing and credit cycle led to the downgrade," S&P wrote. S&P cut its rating on the subsidiary bank to BBB- from BBB.

Whoo Hoo(TM)! Who's got the shitty credit rating now?

Couldn't have happened to a bigger bunch of bastards.

The Bush Legacy

WASHINGTON -- In another unnerving day for Wall Street, investors suffered their worst losses since the terrorist attacks of 2001, and government officials raced to prevent the financial crisis from spreading. ...

"I know Americans are concerned about the adjustments that are taking place in our financial markets," Mr. Bush said at a ceremony to welcome the president of Ghana.

Bush has managed to do what the terrorists couldn't. Destroy the American economy.

Thank God that Bush's would-be successor has a firm grasp of the fundamentals:

The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should," McCain said. "I've got Greenspan's book."
He explained.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Republican Family Values: Blame It On The One-Year-Old Edition

Just say no, kids:

Newsweek published a first-person account of her struggle, but it included some errors.

"It began with Vicodan [sic]. In 1989, I had ruptured a couple of disks carrying my 1-year-old, Bridget, in a pack on my back," she wrote.

But Bridget was not born until 1991.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Dittoheads

It's always tragic when young people try to emulate their favorite celebrity. And even more so when their activities are revealed by the same newspaper that broke the news about that celebrity.

But Howie Kurtz has already said those charges are totally "bogus". So who am I to believe?

It's interesting to see that the McCain camp got out ahead of the story, through their reliable mouthpiece at the Post. But surely Kurtz investigated the charges thoroughly before pronouncing them bogus. Right?

P.S. to HBO: The West Wing meets The Waltons meets Trailer Park Boys. Call me.

Pigs (Three Different Ones)


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

So Much For Reading Comprehension

"When he took the stage, a message that appeared on the large screen behind him read, 'Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.'" -- Brad Stone, New York Times, September 9, 2008

Mary Cheney, 24/7

It didn't enter the lexicon of political scumbaggery in 2004, but it should have. Like Swiftboating, Mary Cheneying is shorthand for a deliberately dishonest political tactic. To Mary Cheney, one feigns umbrage at an innocuous, legitimate and truthful comment order to falsely accuse one's opponent of a personal attack or invasion of privacy. Various hacks in the media (see Kurtz, Howie) repeat the Mary Cheney, as do various pinheads with their own blogs, thus turning the Cheney into a "legitimate" news story. Two of the biggest stories stinking up wingnut blogs and glorified blogs such as Politico.com at the moment involve the McCain campaign Mary Cheneying Senators Obama and Biden.

Such scumbaggery will increase exponentially as we draw nearer to the election.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Talk Stupe

At the same time the RNC is keeping Sharia Palin away from all media and sharp objects, Eggs Drudge and his groupies are professing outrage that Oprah Winfrey won't interview Sharia.

I'm sorry, but there's a logical progression to these things, and it must be followed. Sharia doesn't get to do Oprah until she and her family do Montel Williams and Maury Povich, plus a sit-down with Klee Irwin and an on-the-street interview of Todd by Bridgetta Tomarchio.

Dumbpuck

WASILLA, Alaska -- The biggest project that Sarah Palin undertook as mayor of this small town was an indoor sports complex, where locals played hockey, soccer, and basketball, especially during the long, dark Alaskan winters.

The only catch was that the city began building roads and installing utilities for the project before it had unchallenged title to the land. The misstep led to years of litigation and at least $1.3 million in extra costs for a small municipality with a small budget. What was to be Ms. Palin's legacy has turned into a financial mess that continues to plague Wasilla.

"It's too bad that the city of Wasilla didn't do their homework and secure the land before they began construction," said Kathy Wells, a longtime activist here. "She was not your ceremonial mayor; she was in charge of running the city. So it was her job to make sure things were done correctly."

To be fair, George Bush has cost the country more than $1.3 trillion in the costs of unnecessary war, engineered through lies and fraud. And Rictus Johnny probably cost the taxpayers more than that in crashed fighter jets. So Palin's just a small-time incompetent fuckup.

Warning: "crashed fighter jets" link leads to John Derbyshite quoting a racist shitstain. But even assholes can get get their facts right.

It looks like someone besides James Walcott is reading -- and heeding -- the statement of the obvious profound advice of your humble correspondence.

Hillary Rodham Clinton has no intention of becoming a Sarah Palin attack dog — but has no qualms about going after John McCain, people close to the former first lady say.

"She's not the answer when it comes to winning conservative women — she never was — and we're not going to be anybody's attack dog against Sarah Palin," said a Clinton insider. "To be fair to Obama's people, they haven’t asked us to do that."

Slamming Palin to win back women already hostile to Obama is pointless, the insider said, because Clinton's most loyal base is working-class voters, not women in particular. "Attacking Palin is checkers, attacking McCain on the economy is chess."

I would have said it's abusing the developmentally disabled, but fair enough.

By the way, Glenn Thrush of the AP, author of the article cited above, is a giant scumsack. He twice refers to Senator Clinton as a "former first lady," but doesn't mention she's a Senator once.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Bit of an earthquake here.

That's it?

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Sharia Palin's Lying Circus

Mark Kleiman has the facts.

Drill, baby, drill!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

A Convention of Honky Moms

The Xcel Center was whiter than Malibu Staci McCain's newest hood. Though I did see a few pre-cancerous tans in honor of the nominee. And Cowboy Troy got to recite half a sentence from Dr. King during the "entertainment" portion of the evening.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Country First -- And We Know What That's Worth

Who says John McCain's doesn't have a comprehensive health care plan?

The entrance requirements are a bit revolting, but at least it's a plan.

Holy Shit

Holy Joe Lieberman's speech to his fellow Republicans tonight was so sucktacular that it probably lost McCain votes. Dems watching were reminded what a smarmy, self-interested craphound Joe is, and Republicans were reminded of all the reasons they hate McCain (campaign finance, immigration and being pals with Holy Joe). Non-partisans just wondered why such a lousy speaker was given a prominent speaking slot.

It was Joe's last pathetic hurrah; the last time anyone cares what he says or does. And I sincerely hope that President Obama isn't the nice guy he seems to be.

Added: As they say in Colonial Iraq, "embrace the suck."

Confidential to Jay Nerdlinger

Doctor Doolittle was not a real person, therefore he could not die.

He also couldn't talk to the animals.

Monday, September 01, 2008

When Did Palin Lawyer Up, And When Did McCain Know It?

This article says that Sharia Palin confirmed her retention of a shyster on Monday, September 1, and that the mouthpiece wrote a letter to the Alaska Legislature's counsel dated Friday, August 29.

This article says that the vetting process ended on Thursday, August 28, and quotes McCain's head vetter as saying he "'spent a lot of time with [Palin's] lawyer'" on Troopergate before McCain made his pick. I'd say that, at a minimum, Palin had her mouthpiece in place one week before McCain offered her the opportunity to waste two months of her life.

What I'm really wondering: What did the McCain campaign dig up on Mittens, Holy Joe and Tim Pawlenty that made McCain think Palin was the safe pick?

P.S. to the Alaska Legislature: Those chit-chats between Palin's lawyer and the McCain campaign staff aren't privileged, nor are those 40+ page single-spaced reports. Subpoena accordingly.

Juneau

I couldn't care less that Sharia Plan's kid and the kid's boyfriend were doin' the Bristol Schtupp -- although I do hope that if she gets married, the guy's last name is Meyers-Squibb.

Here's what I do care about:

ST. PAUL (Reuters) -- The 17-year-old unmarried daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is pregnant, Palin said on Monday in an announcement intended to knock down rumors by liberal bloggers that Palin faked her own pregnancy to cover up for her child.

Bristol Palin, one of Alaska Gov. Palin's five children with her husband Todd, is about five months pregnant and is going to keep the child and marry the father, the Palins said in a statement released by the campaign of Republican presidential candidate John McCain.

Bristol Palin made the decision on her own to keep the baby, McCain aides said.

A decision which Palin/Tired '08 would take away from every other woman in this country with great pride. Why is why they shouldn't be allowed within 20 miles of the White House.

Sure, the pregnancy proves that abstinence-only education, which Palin supports, is a fraud (and often hurts kids). But everyone who is honest already knows that. It's not Sharia's fault that her daughter chose to enjoy something that human beings enjoy. The daughter's pregnancy doesn't make her a bad parent; her political views make her a bad politician.

On the other hand, Todd Flanders-Palin's DUI is definitely worthy of emphasis, since Todd and Sharia tried to use the Governor's office to get someone fired for an alleged DUI that happened years earlier.

Of course, the scumbags running McCain's campaign and their media allies are already planning their "Mary Cheney" moment on this story. Which is why Senator Obama has wisely declared this story off-limits for his campaign.

Update: Time Magazine tries to make the pregnancy an issue with some Steno Sue work on behalf of McCain: "Sarah Palin is a longterm member of a group called Feminists for Life, which is not opposed to birth control. So you probably can't tag her for consigning young people to unwanted pregnancies." (That opinion is from the mouth of the Time reporter, and not the best friends of trolls, Jill Hazelbaker.) Well, Sharia's opposed to birth control education, so at a minimum she's in favor of unwanted pregnancies. If she's also opposed to lawful access to birth control for minors, then she has consigned young women to unwanted pregnancies.

Palin's views should be a issue, although the daughter and her boyfriend should be left out of it.

Even though McCain would stoop to such tactics in an irregular heartbeat. Straight Talk's the one who thought it was funny to insult 19 year old Chelsea Clinton at a Republican fundraiser.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Mohammedan Candidate

I'm surprised the dhimmwit wingnuts haven't yet figured out that Sarah Palin is an anagram for:

Sharia Plan

And that thing on McCain's face looks like a crescent.

This Election Is About Judgment

[August 28] BAGHDAD — U.S. forces have arrested a deputy of Ahmad Chalabi, who was once the Bush administration's favorite Iraqi politician, and implicated him in bombings that killed Americans and Iraqis, Chalabi and Iraqi government officials said Thursday.

The U.S. military alleged that the arrested official was working with the "highest echelons" of the Iranian "special groups" criminals, referring to what the U.S. military says are Iranian-backed militias operating in Iraq.

Ali Faisal al Lami, a Shiite Muslim official and a member of the Sadrist Party who's serving as an executive of the Justice and Accountability Committee, which Chalabi heads, was arrested Wednesday at Baghdad International Airport as he returned from a family vacation in Lebanon, Iraqi officials said. The Justice and Accountability Committee screens former members of Saddam Hussein's Baath Party who are applying for jobs in the government.

The American military doesn't release the names of those it detains. Maj. John C. Hall, a U.S. spokesman in Baghdad said the arrested man was implicated in "multiple criminal acts including bombings and attacks against Iraqi targets" including the bombing June 24 of the Sadr City District Advisory Council meeting, which killed six Iraqis, two American soldiers and two U.S. civilians.

...

Chalabi condemned the arrest Thursday night. "This incident shows the need for an end to the random arrest of Iraqis by the American forces, which are against the human rights outlined in the constitution. It proves for a fact that each Iraqi might be arrested or put in prison without knowing the reasons," he said in a news release. He couldn't be reached for further comment.

From Think Progress:

A new book by Aram Roston reveals that Chalabi supported John McCain (R-AZ) for president in 2000, believing that the senator would be the most receptive to his agenda. Muckraked reports:

One of his key backers has been John McCain, who was one of the first patrons of Chalabi's grand-sounding International Committee for a Free Iraq when it was founded in 1991. McCain was Chalabi's favored candidate in the 2000 election since Chalabi knew that he would be able to free up the $97 million in military aid plus millions pushed through in Congress and earmarked for Chalabi’s exile group, the Iraqi National Congress, but held up by the Clinton State Department.

Indeed, McCain was a Chalabi backer long before President Bush took power. In 1997, he tried to pressure the Clinton administration into setting up an Iraqi government in exile. Despite opposition from the Pentagon and the State Department, the next fall, McCain co-sponsored the Iraq Liberation Act, committing the United States to overthrowing Saddam and funding opposition groups. According to a 2006 article by John Judis:

McCain welcomed Ahmed Chalabi, leader of the Iraqi National Congress (INC), to Washington and pressured the administration to give him money. When General Anthony Zinni cast doubt upon the effectiveness of the Iraqi opposition, McCain rebuked him at a hearing of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

...

Also that year [2003], McCain said of Chalabi, "He's a patriot who has the best interests of his country at heart."

And McCain's an expert on patriotism.

Why They Pay Me The Big Money

As long as we're playing political consultants, let me propose that Eric Kleefeld has it all wrong.

Hillary Clinton shouldn't waste two seconds on Palin. Obama shouldn't waste one second on Palin. Joe Biden should talk exclusively about the top of the tickets, his and McCain's. The idea that Palin will draw Hillary supporters to McCain -- beyond a handful of loons -- is absurd. If Palin doesn't self-destruct and take McCain with her, she's irrelevant, a non-issue.

If you're going to do a commercial with Senator Clinton, do one where she talks about Obama and their shared priorities. Having Clinton address Palin is unworthy of her, and a waste of her talents.

Let The Games Begin!

McCain has just shot down his own campaign. The subtext of the entire Republican Convention will be Johnny's incredibly poor judgment. Republican pols who have political careers to protect will avoid mentions of Harriet Miers Jnr. like the plague, fearing their praise of the number two will be replayed by their opponents in the next election -- or this one. The RNC can only pray that Hurricane Gustav increases dramatically in size and speed and heads up the Misissippi to lay waste to the Twin Cities.

Vetts For McCain

Who thought it was a good idea to have Bernie Kerik head up the vetting process for John McCain?

The Washington Post reports:

Gov. Palin's husband, Todd Palin, met with [Director of Public Safety] Monegan in January 2007, a month after his wife took office, to say that the trooper was unfit for the force. Monegan also said the governor sent him e-mails, but Monegan declined to disclose them, saying he planned to give them to the independent prosecutor.

Palin initially denied that she or anyone in her administration had ever pressured Monegan to fire Wooten. She said she had raised the matter with Monegan just once, relaying the allegation that Wooten made a death threat against her father.

But this summer, Palin acknowledged that a half-dozen members of her administration had made more than two dozen calls on the matter to various state officials.

...

In a TV interview in July, Todd Palin confirmed that he had talked with Monegan but said he was just "informing," not pressuring.

At a news conference Aug. 13, the governor said, "I do now have to tell Alaskans that such pressure could have been perceived to exist, although I have only now become aware of it."

The New York Times reports that others view the family Palin as slightly deranged:

A judge in the couple's custody case questioned the family's motives for filing the complaints. "It appears for the world that Ms. McCann and her family have decided to take off for the guy's livelihood," the judge said, according to a recording of a hearing.

...

Excerpts of the audio recording released by the governor showed Frank Bailey, the state's director of boards and commissions, pushing Lt. Rodney Dial in February about Mr. Wooten.

"Todd and Sarah are scratching their heads, 'Why on earth hasn't this, why is this guy still representing the department?'" Mr. Bailey said to the lieutenant.

"Todd and Sarah" is a nice touch, in a Biblically correct sort of way. And Toddy's not just a fisherman -- he's a reformer with results.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Answering A Question With A Question

Killing time between conjugal visits with Lord Black of Coleman Gaol, David Frum inquires:

If it were your decision, and you were putting your country first, would you put an untested small-town mayor a heartbeat away from the presidency?

If it was your decision, and you were putting your country first, would you write dishonest, warmongering speeches for an alcoholic dullard a heartbeat away from Dick Cheney?

But then, America isn't Frumpy's country.

Bonus Black Comedy: Squeal Amiel.

Billy Dale, Meet Walter Monegan

Something is rotten in the State of Alaska.

[Walter] Monegan, 57, a respected former chief of the Anchorage Police Department, said in an interview with The Washington Post's James V. Grimaldi on Friday that the governor repeatedly brought up the topic of her ex-brother-in-law, Michael Wooten, after Monegan became the state's commissioner of public safety in December 2006. Palin's husband, Todd, met with Monegan and presented a dossier of information about Wooten, who was going through a bitter custody battle with Palin's sister, Molly. Monegan also said Sarah Palin sent him e-mails on the subject, but Monegan declined to disclose them, saying he planned to give them to a legislative investigator looking into the matter.

Palin initially denied that she or anyone in her administration had ever pressured Monegan to fire the trooper, but this summer acknowledged more than a half a dozen contacts over the matter, including one phone call from a Palin administration official to a state police lieutenant.

Monegan didn't fire Wooten; Palin gave Monegan the chop.

The Anchorage Daily News also says:

Todd Palin called a meeting with Monegan to specifically talk about Wooten shortly after his wife took office in December 2006, Todd Palin said on Friday.

Monegan says Todd Palin talked to him several times after that about Wooten. Todd Palin said, though, he couldn't recall if he had any conversations with the commissioner about his ex-brother-in-law outside of that initial meeting.

"But I know I've never told him to fire trooper Wooten," Todd Palin said.

The meeting occurred in the governor's office, but the governor was not there, Monegan said

And why in the hell is Todd Flanders even talking to the Commissioner of Public Safety? Does just any schmuck in Alaska stroll into the governor's office and "call a meeting" with the Commissioner of Public Safety? 'Cause he's got a hard-on for his brother-in-law? Is the Commissioner the personal flunky of the Governor's spouse?

Even on Countdown they were calling this a non-starter -- with only a tenuous grasp of the facts -- because the trooper was allegedly an abusive asshole. No dice. If someone is accused of a crime, the Governor doesn't order someone to fucking fire that person. The alleged victim makes a report to law enforcement and law enforcement does its job. Due process. Rule of law. Trial. Right of confrontation. Presumption of innocence. I could go on.

Of course, if the allegations against Trooper Wooten are true, the John McCain Administration would likely hire him and put him in charge at Gitmo.

More: Here's my uniformed speculation of how this unfolds -- Palin steps down as Governor, ostensibly to devote herself to the McCain campaign full-time, but actually to avoid the embarassment of the investigation, testifying under oath, etc. Once out of office, she and her allies claim there's no need for an investigation, and pretend that she was the victim of a partisan witch-hunt.

Palin Was For The Bridge To Nowhere Before She Was Against It, But Only In The Sense That She Was Never Against It

Bradford Plumer has the details.

Ramesh Pornmumu's not happy:

Palin has been governor for about two minutes. Thanks to McCain's decision, Palin could be commander-in-chief next year. That may strike people as a reckless choice; it strikes me that way. And McCain's age raised the stakes on this issue.

McCain doesn't care; he won't have to live with the conseqeunces.

Can anyone say with a straight face that Palin would have gotten picked if she were a man?

Yeah, but the same thing could be said about Clarence Thomas.

The other Special Needs bloggers seem satified with her campaign pledge that, if elected, she will not have an abortion.

Troopergate II: Electric Boogaloo

Well, at least McCain's got Ted Stevens' vote, assuming he still has one in November.

Palin/Tired O8'

Shorter Rictus Johnny: Yes, I do think the American people are stupid. Incredibly stupid.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

You Bitter You Bet

Pearls of wisdom from the Special Needs Blog:

Normal Americans ... Are telling me it was a "mean" speech.

LAME. This is a very weak candidate.

A Lot of People ... Are emailing me to say that they have made their first McCain donation tonight.

Instead of "I Have a Dream" ... I have a grievance.

When I lay my head to the pillow tonight, I will dream that John Kasich takes the stage with McCain tomorrow in Dayton. If that happens, you can close the books on the presidential race and start looking at whether the coattails will bring us one of the two houses.

(All quotes guaranteed accurate!)

We Have A Winner

And it's not John McCain.

I'm talking about the winner of the widely popular Roger Ailes Veepapalooza Veepstakes contest. Rumors have Johnny Rictus selecting Tim Polenta as his bland, mushy heartbeat away, although the candidate's official announcement will be made on 5-and-1/4 inch floppies sent out to supporters bulk mail rate.

Unless Johnny R. picks Joe Lieberman as his number two, the contest winner will be Mike Nilsen, who was the first to call Senator Joe Biden as Senator Obama's running mate. Once McCain's pick is confirmed, Mike can e-mail me to collect his prize (unless Lieberman's the one, in which case "John" is the winner).

Congratulations, Mike!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Fates Conspire Against Me

I haven't caught much of the convention. On Tuesday, I had to work late. Tonight, the power goes out. While I'm in the shower. In a windowless bathroom. Took a towel rack down with me as I groped my way out. At least I didn't impale myself or crack my skull open. Or break a hip, like Bob Novak.

Tomorrow can only bring electrocution.

The only thing that might redeem this week is John McCain's vice president pick. If it's Muff or Holy Joe Lieberman, this could be the best week ever.