The Rocket's Red Ass

If you had a chance to talk to the man you hope will become the next president, what would you say? Here's what Johnny Assrocket of the Powerpuff Blog would -- and did - say:

John McCain was in town for a big event at the Minneapolis Hilton and a town hall appearance in St. Paul. My wife and I waited for an hour and a half for a photo with the candidate; as so often happens, he was running late. I figured I'd have ten seconds with him, so I wanted to choose my words carefully. I decided to introduce my wife and myself, and say, "Global warming is b***s***." That seemed like the most meaningful message I could convey in the short time available.

Several questions spring to mind. Foremost is: How did Assrocket pronounce the ***s in "b***s***"?

Second is: Why would he say something to the Senator that he is too ashamed to spell out on his blog?

Third: Did he realize that, if McCain was even bothering to listen, he wouldn't understand whether Assrocket was opposed to global warming or denying the existence of global warming?

Fourth: Didn't Assrocket participate in those blogger conference calls with McCain, where McCain pretended to listen at length to Assrocket and his idiot pals? Why is McCain suddenly so inaccessible to Time magazine's Blogger of the Year?

And, finally: Shouldn't Assrocket be more concerned with Our Thousand Year Victory in Iraq or the War on Muslims or reconquista or some other wingnutty obsession than the non-issue of global warming? I refuse to believe the Assman couldn't boil his most complex thoughts on those subjects down to seven syllables.