Doughy D.O.A.

It's taking longer than expected for Jonah Goldberg's ghostwriter to finish his long awaited worstseller, I Heart Hitler: Without You, Adolf, I'm Nothing. Back in 2003, the Pantload's publisher was promising a 2005 release date. As 2005 passed, Goldberg promised a March 2007 release date, and then a September 11, 2007 (!) release date.

The dupes at Doubleday are now announcing a December 26, 2007 release date which, no doubt, will roll over to a 2008 date by the end of Spring.

Or maybe not. I searched the Doubleday website and could find nothing on Lucianne Jnr.'s manfesto. A page at the website of Doubleday's parent, Random House, refers to Goldberg and has a picture of the book's cover, but has no information about the Pantload's volume. And the Pantload's not one of the ten Goldbergs on the publisher's author roster.

At a promised 272 pages, this means that Goldberg hasn't managed to complete even a fifth of a page per day. Factoring in the huge margins, large type, bogus endnotes and eight to sixteen pages of red and black Crayola illustrations, it's probably closer to less than a tenth of a page. Of course, Goldberg's churned out much more than 272 pages worth of Corner Crap over the past four years (and that's not including his syndicated column and BSG slash fiction). So he's got no excuse for delivering his book 2 and 1/2 years late.

Either the publisher is refusing to publish Goldberg's steaming pile as written or Goldberg couldn't come up with enough examples of liberal fascism to fill a large pamphlet. Or both.

Meanwhile, it's appropriate that the current release date is the date known for returning unwanted crap in exchange for cash or store credit. And the start of Kwanzaa.