Friday, April 30, 2004

Reinventing The L.A. Times Editorial Page

TBogg posts Hugh "Jass" Hewitt's Los Angeles Times op-ed page Dream Team, which Huge recommends to the page's new editor, Michael Kinsley. Huge's picks:

Roger L. Simon

Dennis Prager

Patt Morrison

Susan Estrich

Laura Ingraham

Max Boot

James Lileks

Charles Krauthammer

George Fwill

Mickey Kaus (but only if he learns to write)

So we have eight bats right, one bats left and one switch hitter. Oh, and a "guest column from the ranks of the bloggers," in case Kaus is caught using steriods or corking his head. The Times might as well just print the URL for Clownhall and save the cost of ink and paper.

Not only are Huge's choices convservative, they're also conservative. If the Times is going to make a change, why not line up some fresh voices, some up-and-coming talents, instead of fossils like Will, Prager and Kaus?

Why not recommend federal courts/gastrointestinal specialist Kaye Grogan:

With all due respect to the United States Supreme court, I don't think it sets a good example to be selective in what cases they will hear and won't hear. They should hear all cases that come before them. In the ongoing battle between what is really the meaning of separation between church and state, Virginia Military Institute (VMI) in Virginia, has been hanging out on a limb for quite awhile now, with no resolution in sight. What alternative is left after being rejected by the highest court in the land to hear their case? They could be hung out to dry. . .permanently

For many years the military institution has been saying grace before meals, until a lower federal court ruled the mealtime grace was unconstitutional. Baloney! Has anyone ever considered getting nauseated or heartburn after meals could be associated with not thanking God for their food?

Sure. The makers of Prilosec did, but they conspired with the ACLU to surpress the information for commercial gain.

Or how about European history expert Barbara Stock:


Oh, for the days when knights wore shining armor and came to the rescue of damsels in distress. They slew mythical dragons and searched for the Holy Grail. The world has a different kind of knight these days. King Arthur would take an axe to the Round Table if he were alive today.

And who would blame him for decapitating Billy Sardell?

Or to opine on L.A.'s primary industry, showbiz savant Richard Mullenax:

However, some of the celebrities that were at the [March for Women's Lives] flabbergasted me: Ashley Judd, Lisa Loeb, Salma Hayek, and Amy Jo Johnson, who starred in the once popular kid's television series ''Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.'' It was sad and disappointing for me to see such talented people support an unholy act of human ignorance. After all, these are the entertainers we give our hard-earned money to so that they may entertain us.

Dick lists the celebrities who "backed" the march, urges his reader to "[w]rite firm, but non-threatening, letters to any if not all of the entertainers and express your disappointment in them." And in Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie.

Sure, the average Hewitt listener may lack the ability to grasp such subtle writing, but we can't dumb down everything to the level of the Jassheads.

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