Thanks For Asking

For those curious about Roger Ailes' whereabouts on Thanksgiving, I decided to follow the inspirational example of Geo. W. Bush. I headed to the local food bank, where I posed for pictures handing cans of food to the less fortunate. As soon my lackeys in the press got their snaps, I got the hell out of there, leaving the destitute to suffer and die in obscurity. Then I went to Tim Russert's house and received a blow job.