Hackowe'en

Mickey Kaus, who is still alive, has snuck back into the e-pages of Slate.com, with this anonymous missive to "Dear Prudence:"

Dear Prudence,

I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?

-- Halloween for the 99 Percent

"Are there no sweatshops and child sex traffickers?" Kaus left unsaid. 

Kaus' query recalls his White Fright fantasy from nearly a decade ago:

There was a large gang fight on Halloween in the lush heart of L.A.'s affluent suburban West Side, I'm told. Dozens of teenagers, some wielding bats and chains, from rival black and Hispanic outfits battled each other around 26th Street and San Vicente, on the border between Santa Monica and Brentwood, the latter probably the most expensive neighborhood in Los Angeles. Police were called to the scene in force.

After blasting the L.A. Times for failing to report his delusions,
Kaus later weaseled, "just because the police don't respond doesn't mean nothing happened."

Urchins, if you stop by the Kaus condo this Oct. 31, be sure your toilet paper is recycled. And well-used.