Breaking! Must Credit Roger Ailes!

According to ABC's Jake Tapper, Sharia Palin just tweeted to Mark Leh-VIN, that she will not be seeking the G.O.P. nomination for President. Of course, communicating with hairless troll doll Mark Leh-VIN disqualifies anyone from holding any public office. Palin wrote that the office of the President was too confiney, restricty and wedgie for her ultimate aspiration, which is not to be the biggest laughingstock in recorded history.

Update: Full drivel here.

Update (3:35 p.m.): Apparently, Conservatives4Palin didn't get the inside scoop on Palin's latest failure. RedStain and Gwen Stacy McCain are also asleep at the switch.

Update (3:43 p.m.): Greta Van Sustern will now return full-time to her search for Natalie Holloway.

Update (3:56 p.m.): Sucker SarahPAC is still open for business, because grift never sleeps.