Achtung, Alchy

Ann Alchouse, who has never allowed herself to be photographed wearing an Eva Braun costume in public, is outraged at the liberal media for reporting that RepublicBagger House candidate Rich Iott previously pranced around the fields of Ohio in an SS uniform. Alchouse outrage focuses on the fact that Atlantic reporter Joshua Green doesn't place one of Herr Iott's "defenses" -- the claim he has also dressed as an American doughboy and a Union solider -- high enough in his report to suit her tastes.

No, seriously.

Of course, Iott also fails to mention this defense in his own defense. But Ann's willing to call Green out for the dirty Simon Weisenthal reenactor that he is.

You see, Green hasn't done enough digging to find the exculpatory evidence and turn it over to Herr Iott, who is at a decided disadvantage in explaining his own acts. Alchouse wonders aloud, "Who decides, when war reenactments are done, which side somebody plays?" It would be sheer speculation to assume that a millionaire who has his own tailored SS uniform wasn't forced into the Nazi role by, say, a billionaire who called dibs on the role of a Nazi opponent. Surely he picked up his SS kit at the local Life Uniform outlet because the U.S. Paratrooper costume didn't come in 2XL. And if Herr Iott played a Minuteman twice for everytime he dressed as a Nazi, then Alchouse can't fault him for swinging both ways.

Of course, Alchouse can't refute the facts, and doesn't find any factual errors in Green's reporting. As noted, Green publicized a supposed "defense" by Iott that Iott hasn't bothered to publicize on his own website. It's the only way Alchouse would know abut it. Green also prints Iott's other defenses in paragraphs three, four, five, nine, ten and eleven of his article, so he has to be faulted for not prioritizing Iott's excuses according to Alchouse's peculiar tastes.

Alchouse sees lefty bias like some people see a giant pink rabbit -- if it doesn't appear on its own, she knows what to do to make it appear.

(If you're interested in some truly shitty reasoning, Alchouse's heavings are found here. I've "buried" it at the end of this post because you have already stopped reading, you mental defective, you.)