Campbell's Thick and Chunky

Ross Douchehat says:

The interplay of fertility, reproductive impulses and gender differences in heterosexual relationships is, for want of a better word, “thick.”

Heterosexual relationships are like Chunky Reese Witherspoon's ass. So thick you can eat them with a fork.

The "better" word that Douchehat wants to use is phallocentric -- as in this marriage is only big enough for one cock, and I'm the Dick.

But, really, who gives a fuck what Douchehat thinks? His wife surely didn't buy Ross's definition of thick -- given all the evidence to the contrary -- and neither will anyone else.

My beef here is with Ezra Klein's characterization of Douchehat:

And Ross Douthat, as humane and thoughtful a supporter of traditional marriage as you'll find....

If, by humble and thoughtful, you mean pompous and illogical.... The idea that Douthat's opposition to marriage equality is "support of traditional marriage" is laughable. The point is so obvious that it hardly needs repeating -- thoughtful supporters of heterosexual marriage can, and by definition do, support the rights of gay men and lesbians.

I'm agnostic on marriage, but I'm a holy roller on discrimination.

P.S. Yes, World-O-Crap was there first.