Shorter Nick Pistof: You Can't Criticize The Catholic Church For Protecting Pedophiles Because I Know Some Priest Who Got His Ass Kicked In Sudan

No. Seriously:

It’s because of brave souls like these that I honor the Catholic Church. I understand why many Americans disdain a church whose leaders are linked to cover-ups and antediluvian stances on women, gays and condoms — but the Catholic Church is far larger than the Vatican.

And unless we’re willing to endure beatings alongside Father Michael, unless we’re willing to stand up to warlords with Sister Cathy, we have no right to disparage them or their true church. (Emphasis added.)

Even shorter Nick Pistof: Moral distinctions are unpossible!

Pistof's next column: We have no right to disparage accused anthrax killers because of Dr. Steven Hatfill.