Drunken Fashionblogging

If Andre Leon Talley and Ann Althouse had a child, that child would write this blog post:

Reid's face is perfectly symmetrical. But all models' faces are perfectly symmetrical. Well, somehow, this face was more symmetrical than most. Maybe this is a hint about the fall's fashions. Just take a look and see for yourself.

Do the editors of the Times Magazine have the slightest idea of who their readers are?

There's a Dolce & Gabbana loose weave "V" neck sweater, cost $3,495, plus sales tax (something like $300.) There's what's called a "dress shirt," but it's not, at $475 and jeans for $575. The tie apparently comes for free.

Reid is also wearing (on another page) a very symmetrical cashmere coat at $2,165. Another "dress shirt" for $565, which makes the D & G a bargain. And Prince of Wales check pants for $695. The checks were not noticeable. And Reid does not look like the Prince of Wales. He has a shut mouth and no evidence of buck teeth. He looks a bit dazed actually. But, then, so does the Prince of Wales.

On the first page (all Dior Homme) of the second spread, Reid is wearing a wool jacket at $1,120, a leather vest at $1,350, a cotton shirt at $355 and wool gabardine pants at $520. If you look closely he seems to be wearing a pretty sharp belt. No price. On the other page, Reid is shown in a Raf Simons double-breasted (see what I mean, symmetrical) trench coat for "about $1,550." Is there going to be a sale already, I mean, before the season actually starts, while we are all still at the Hamptons? Raf Simons pants go for $950. Raf Simons pants fit me very well. He designs for small asses.

Do you remember Louis Vuitton? The place where your rich aunt bought all her luggage to take to Europe on the Queen Mary? Well, he's still in this business. But the heavy and hard brown suitcases with the insignia (was it the fleur de l'isle? maybe not) are not up front. Also by Vuitton (which is owned by Bernard Arnault, who is also the owner of Moet Hennesy and other jewels in the crown of the Fifth Republic), a "hand-dyed ombre sweater" at $600 and "a wool cashmere ombre gabardine jacket." At what price? "Price upon request." Is this a work of art? Aren't there too many adjectives in that description?

Now, there's a lot of "ombre" in Reid's display. A Prada very symmetrical "ombre wool jacket" at $1,630, and "ombre sweater" at $1,015 and wool pants at $550. The ombre jacket is perfectly symmetrical. Jean-Paul Gaultier, you are finished.

Another "Do you remember?" question. Do you remember Burberry? That boring raincoat store. Not any more. A Prorsum (whatever that is) nylon quilted coat for $2,995. That much money for artificial fabrics. But the most uncannily symmetrical clothes in the whole lot. A wool sweater for $595, a cotton shirt at the bargain of the whole lot $275, and wool flannel pants for $450. Where did the word "slacks" go?

Yves Saint Laurent has also dressed Reid in a wool coat with Lurex lining for $3,170, cotton fleece sweat pants with shearling patches at $1,305 and a cashmere ribbed hood for $750.

I was wrong: it's not the cotton shirt at $275 that's the least expensive. It's a cotton T-shirt. But I couldn't find it on any of the eight photos of Reid. Then there were unpriced sunglasses. They cover up almost half of Reid's finely chiseled face: Balenciaga by Nicolas Ghesquiere. Not free. But no price either.

Before you click on the link, guess which small-assed person wrote this post.