Grand Old Police Blotter: D. Uhl Normal Edition

Strife between fundamentalist religious sects* has now led to terrorism on this Nation's shores:

A small group of protesters gathered near the funeral services to criticize the man who mobilized Christian evangelicals and made them a major force in American politics -- often by playing on social prejudices.

A group of students from Falwell's Liberty University staged a counterprotest.

And Campbell County authorities arrested a Liberty University student for having several homemade bombs in his car.

The student, 19-year-old Mark D. Uhl of Amissville, Va., reportedly told authorities that he was making the bombs to stop protesters from disrupting the funeral service. The devices were made of a combination of gasoline and detergent, a law enforcement official told ABC News' Pierre Thomas. They were "slow burn," according to the official, and would not have been very destructive.

"There were indications that there were others involved in the manufacturing of these devices and we are still investigating these individuals with the assistance of ATF [Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms], Virginia State Police and FBI. At this time it is not believed that these devices were going to be used to interrupt the funeral services at Liberty University," the Campbell County Sheriff's Office said in a release.

Mr. Uhl's fellow homcide bombers and Sons of Liberty include a soldier and a high school student.

It is now clear that these dangerous radicals known as Baptists cannot be trusted. They must be profiled, they must be excluded from participating in our government and yes, they must be waterboarded.

I AM John Doe!

* I am assuming the protesters were the Phelps KClan. The ABC article doesn't say.