Battlestar's On, Just Leave Me Alone And Write Twenty Pages Comparing Howard Dean to Mussolini

The Pantload is finally about to commence work on his first coloring book, I Heart Hitler:

Help Wanted [Jonah Goldberg]

I'm gonna need a meticulous, smart, diligent intern/assistant type to help me with the house-cleaning on my manuscript. In particular, I need someone to help get my copious footnotes and the like in order. There will also be some serious research-related stuff to do as we head into galley mode. It would be best if he or she -- or conceivably it -- went to school or worked in the DC area so we could meet from time to time. I haven't thought through the money question, but you can be assured it won't be lavish. But what's filthy lucre compared to a glowing mention in the acknowledgements and my eternal gratitude? Anyway, anybody interested in said gig should send an email with appropriate info (resume, experience, dancing ability etc) to JonahResearch@aol.com.

Translation: Is there anyone who can substantiate any of the shit I made up and read my handwriting? I already spent the advance on Ring Dings and Dexatrim, and if I miss my publisher's deadline again even Judith Regan won't do business with me.

I'm not kidding. The expected publication date of I Heart Hitler has been pushed back from March 20, 2007 to September 11, 2007. (An aniversary tie-in. How tasteful.) The Pantload's publisher was already pimping the slender tome as an all-but-finished product 13 months ago, in October 2005. Most of the folks who pre-ordered this pile have died of old age or stupidity by now.