Roger's News Break

A weeping Patrick Kennedy (D-U.I.) announced this afternoon that he was seeking treatment for addiction. In a brief statement to reporters, Kennedy said, "My God, I'm no better than Rush Limbaugh, except that I didn't buy my pills illegally, from my maid. Does anyone have Roy Black's number? No? How about Nan Talese's?"

In response, former U.S. Representative Bill Janklow (R-SD) and First Lady Laura Bush issued a joint press release condemning reckless driving.

In other news, Dick Morris celebrated in anticipation of increased face time as the Fox News Channel's Senior Prostitution Analyst.

This Roger News Break was brought to you by Atree, the maker of Aleve.