The Bugchaser's Buddy

Republican Jack Abramoff, the man who will sell Tom DeLay to federal prosecutors for a mess of pottage, speaks:

Abramoff also seems to see himself as an innocent victim. "Of course, I have made mistakes," he told me. Yet it's not quite clear what he thinks those mistakes are. Abramoff insisted that his hunger for riches was driven by charitable impulses. "I have spent years giving away virtually everything I made," he said. "Frankly, I didn't need to have a kosher delicatessen. That was money I could have bought a yacht with. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle. I felt that the resources coming into my hands were the consequence of God putting them there." And he has a ready explanation for much of his behavior. When asked, for instance, how a religious man who reportedly loathed Hollywood profanity could send e-mail messages playfully calling Scanlon a "big time faggot" or declaring, apropos one intransigent tribal client, "We need a beautiful girl to send up there," Abramoff suggested that he dumbed down his words to motivate Scanlon. "I didn't have a lot of time to articulate things," he said. "Sometimes I would find myself speaking to people in the language that they speak." He likened himself to the Biblical character Jacob, who dressed in his brother Esau's clothes. Jacob did this, Abramoff told me, as "a more effective means of communicating with Esau." (In fact, Jacob's goal is to deceive his father.)

And the racism implied in calling tribal leaders "monkeys" and "troglodytes"? Abramoff responded: "That's probably the thing that hurts me the most about all this. It's just so opposite of who I am."

[Abbe] Lowell interjected: "When he uses the word 'monkey' to describe one part of a faction, he is referring to an opponent, not Native Americans in general."

And when I use the phrase "lying turd" to describe Abbe Lowell, I mean Lowell is a lying turd.

And yet Abramoff only seems ready to embrace his faith more fully. He said he wants to have another try at making movies -- this time "for the audience that was rediscovered by 'The Passion.'" He has already written a few treatments, he said.

Uh, Jackoff, the audience rediscovered by The Passion thinks you killed their Savior.