The Father and Papa

Veteran Vatican-watchers at the Moonie Times have a unique vantage point from which to observe Catholic politics and policy -- the inside of The Father's ass. Witness the Moonie rag's witless prediction concerning the papal selection, published on April 18, before the Cards' first vote:

The College of Cardinals meets today to pick the 265th pope of the Roman Catholic Church. Because John Paul II was the first non-Italian pope in 455 years, speculation is high that church fathers may break new ground again -- perhaps by picking a non-European, an African or the first Latin American to be pope. The media constantly states that the only certainty is that this supposedly conservative college will pick a conservative pope. This prediction is unlikely because the cardinals are actually very liberal.

...

... Overall, John Paul II's cardinals are poised to take the Catholic Church leftward.

Brilliant.

By the way, what happens what the Reverend Moon kicks the nut-bucket? Beside the world becoming a better place, that is. Do the Unification Church and the Moonie Times deserved die with the felonious Moon? Or is there some ritual whereby Moon's sucessor is chosen by his flunkies and white smoke comes billowing off of Wes Pruden's flaming cross to signal the selection?

(Thanks to a reader for the link.)