Queer As A Five Dollar Bill

Everyone from Gore Vidal to Richard Brookheiser is weighing in on the question "Was Abraham Lincoln Gay (or Bisexual)?" Adam Yoshida has penned a subliterate essay, riddled with inaccuracies and grammatical errors, on the subject (no link), and even the Nation has a strange cartoon with Abe's head on the body of a voluptuous woman. The controversy even has loathsome homophobe John Derbyshire confessing that he has slept with men.

So: Was Honest Abe the Old Tailsplitter? Did he call his beard Mary Todd? Did he Plow-the-Speed? Given the historical record -- the absence of chat line recordings, a highly-paid chief of staff, or a sexual harassment lawsuit -- we may not find a definitive answer. And it may not matter. With today's neo-Confederate G.O.P., the outrage from the right side would be greater if we learned that Jeff Davis carried a cross-shaped torch for Robt. E. Lee.