John Leo, Computer Illiterate

John "White Teeth" Leo cheesed off that a "mildly kinky" Republican who can't close the deal has been denied his birthright.

"Judging by the Trib's self-righteous prose, you could be pardoned for thinking we were discussing the Pentagon Papers, not a mildly kinky sexual request that was never acted upon. How is this the business of the news media?"

Maybe Jack Ryan can spend his free time teaching basic computer skills to John Leo.

"It puts 'anything goes' philanderers off limits and targets only the backers of traditional moral values. The hypocrisy excuse was a low hum in the background of the Jack Ryan case. One of the Tribune's legal briefs identified him as a 'family values' candidate (the evidence for this perilous status did not turn up in my computer search), so apparently it was somehow ok to go gunning for him."

Yeah, Johnno. You have to search as far as ... Jack Ryan's website ... to see him identified as a "family values" candidate:

Don't go looking for this show on any network. It's not TV -- it's not even reality TV -- it's real life; the life of Jack Ryan, Republican candidate for U.S. Senate.

It's a life shaped by family values. Jack grew up in a family of 8, went to Dartmouth College, earned degrees from Harvard Law and Harvard Business School. Spent fifteen years in investment banking, made partner, and then Jack gave it all up -- to teach at an African-American high school on Chicago's south side. And last year, 100% of their graduates went on to college.

Jack's values taught him the importance of every child's life and his time in the inner city only made it stronger. To find out more about Jack, visit jackryan2004.com.

And then there's these endorsements.

Oh, well, there's no victim like a Republican victim.