Doggy Dick Morris Barks For His Master

Here's the kind of anal-penetrating analysis FOX News Contributor Dick Morris provides ... for a fee!:

This election will hinge on what Americans want in a president.

Okay. It's easy to take a sentence entirely in context and mock it. When it's written by a moron. So let's dig deeper.

Bush has to hope for neither too much success nor too much failure in his efforts to eradicate terror, pacify Iraq and curb the ambitions of North Korea and Iran. Too much success would erode the importance of these issues and let domestic questions come to the fore, to Kerry's advantage. Too much failure would besmirch his ratings on fighting terror and could cripple his key advantage, as April's outbreak of violence in Iraq hobbled him in the spring.

Kerry has to hope Bush will succeed so well in fighting terrorism that it disappears as an issue. Only if voters feel genuinely safe will they be willing to reject the man who brought them safety and take a chance on a man they don't entirely trust on the issue.

Should another terrorist attack hit our shores, Americans will likely react the opposite from their Spanish counterparts — we'll rallyaround the president both as an act of patriotism and as a recognition that his skills at fighting terror are still needed.

So the candidate who hopes the most will win.

The flabby foot fetishist repeats two Administration lies in the guise of analysis: That Bush brought this country safety and that Spanish voters were influenced by terrorist attacks.

His last sentence is a classic: If there's another domestic terror attack, voters will recognize Bush's skills at fighting terror. And if you play fetch with another prostitute, Dick, we'll recognize how much you love your wife.