John Kerry may have saved wee Mickey Kaus's life -- and five city blocks in Santa Monica -- by going on vacation at the same time Howell Raines published his 20,000 word account of his tenure as executive editor of the New York Times. Forcing Mick to choose between his pet hates could have lethal consequences.

For those who can't wait for Kaus' "Skipper Service" review of Raines, it will go something like this: "Raines was an arrogant Southern prick who destroyed the New York Times through affirmative action, and liberals suck."