I'm Going to Rehab, I Swear

Just one more on Rush, and then I quit. I promise. I want to go out with a bang, if you get my drift. Hee hee hee.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you one giant sack of shit, from his forthcoming book "I Want To Tell You":

"Based on some things that I have read, things that people have written - and I understand it, what people have said - let me try one more time, ladies and gentlemen, on the story about me and drug use. When I said Friday that I didn't yet know what I was dealing with and that when I did I would tell you everything, I meant exactly that. Some people are interpreting that to mean, well, in fact, let me just be blunt. People are saying that I'm being Clintonesque, that I'm waiting until I know everything I have to deal with so that I can figure out what I have to lie about. That's what I said that Bill Clinton always did when we were waiting for him to come forth.

"Ladies and gentlemen, that's not what is going on here at all. I am waiting to find out just exactly what I am facing legally. And until I know that, I'm not going to say anything, I can't. But as I said Friday, I asked you to trust me, and I'm asking you again to trust me now and today. When such time comes, fear not; what there is to be known will be known, and I will tell you. But until it is permissible and makes sense for me to tell you that, I can't, and I won't. But I'm not holding anything back, and I'm not determining what it is that down the road I'm going to have to lie about. Believe me, I don't even have any desire to do that, and I haven't. So this is simply a matter of waiting until it is permissible. And when - as I say - until I know what I'm dealing with, I mean exactly that." (Quoted in full; I'm not linking to this sack's website again.)

Of course, not a single word of this is true. If you're not going to lie, Flush, why wait to find out what you're "facing legally?" If you're going to tell the truth, what does it matter what the legal consequences are? You're not holding anything back? -- you're not saying anything! Nothing is stopping you from telling the truth. Silence is the smart move legally, but even your dildoheads know you're lying when you say you can't talk.

You're not Clintonesque; you're Limbaughesque.