Grand Old Police Blotter: The Ballad of Reading Crap Written in Gaol Edition

Perjurer and honorary Republican Lord Jeffrey Archer is being released from prison today, undoubtedly ready to inflict more of his shite novels on unsuspecting readers. Archer has already earned �10 million from the sale of his prison diaries, which fortunately don't contain any sex scenes. The Guardian reports:

Prisoner FF8282 has not been idle during his two years in jail. The disgraced Tory peer, author, fantasist and convicted liar also known as Jeffrey Archer has built up a fighting fund of investments stretching from a retail park in Cumbria to a luxury holiday complex in Majorca, an Observer investigation has discovered. When Archer is released from Hollesley Bay open prison in Suffolk tomorrow he will immediately tap into the �60 million fortune that has expanded in prison along with his waistline. The money will be used in the fight to clear his name, settle scores with old enemies and publicise his new favourite cause: prison reform.

Archer will make a short statement tomorrow before driving to his home in Grantchester, near Cambridge. It is likely to contain a strong expression of his commitment to prison reform following his first-hand experience. The Howard League for Penal Reform confirmed that Archer would be speaking at a conference held by the prison charity in September, if his parole conditions allow.

It appears Mary was unsuccessful in getting Lord Jeff a position in Iraq.