Meet Your Liberal Media

The editorial board of the Los Angeles Times is appearing all week as the opening act at the Laugh Factory in El Segundo.

So the war in Iraq (remember that?) went well, which means quickly. But now, weeks after victory, neither plodding United Nations arms inspectors nor eager American weapons hunters can seem to find Saddam Hussein's suspected hidden caches of weapons of mass destruction. The reason is clear as day: You've got men looking for these things.

Recall those prewar videos of U.N. inspectors poking through unused Iraqi factories as cluttered with meaningless litter and refuse as any teenager's room? They were all men. Did you see any of those men stopping to ask for directions? Of course not! Real men don't ask for directions. Fact is, most men are terrible at finding things, even in their own closets. They stand there helplessly waiting for someone to offer help in spotting a favorite blue tie, which is hanging right in front, and hand it to them. "Oh, there it is," they say with engaging obliviousness.

And men are even worse in front of the refrigerator. Have you noticed? Again, they stand there with the door open, chilling the entire kitchen, looking and looking with those blank faces and silent mouths, apparently unable physically to move even the tiniest jar in their not-so-diligent search. When help arrives, again, the sought-after item is typically right in front.

The Bush Administration lies to the American people to justify its war against Iraq, thousands of people are now dead and wounded, and all the purportedly liberal Times can do is recycle some Dave Barry meets Phyllis Diller meets every stand-up comedian on Comedy Central.

Manufacturing a pretext for invasion is not an outrage. Besides, it's funny because it's true, am I right, ladies?

What's next, Times? The Bush economy is a lot like airline food? John Kerry reminds you of your mother-in-law?

Thank you, and don't forget to tip your waitress.