If "The Straight Story" Starred A Freeper

Dwight Watson is a Freeper with followthrough:

Four years ago, Watson said he brought his tractor to Washington and tried to meet government leaders. "I did it the right way. I came up here and talked to them, but the government ignored me. Before any government officials put me on my knees, it's going to be a war."

He referred to government leaders as "Nazis" and alluded to incidents in Ruby Ridge, Idaho, and Waco, Tex., where government agents used force to end standoffs with civilians. And he said he was acting alone but also hoped Americans would rally behind him. "I want to be able to lay down and know I made the best effort I could," he said. "If people don't want to accept it, that's fine, but I want to know I sounded the alarm."

The man has declared war on America and has shut down portions of the nation's capitol with his threat to detonate explosives. I have only one question: Where is Johnny Asscrack?