Which Simpsons Character Are You, John Ashcroft?

"So many of the foibles of 'The Simpsons' are projections of what happens in my life, and in our family. I see both the humor and the tragedy in everyday existences in the lives of Homer, Lisa, and Bart. Marge may be my favorite character. She is so pure in her life, she tolerates the nonsense and just stays right in there.

"Ned Flanders is another character I like. He seems naive, but keeps chugging on with his positive approach to life. Instead of being victimized by all of Homer's schemes and abuses, he ends up doing well, which confounds Homer. What's interesting to me about 'The Simpsons' is that it's about people of pure motive and perseverance who keep plowing ahead in spite of the lunacy that surrounds them." -- Attorney General John Ashcroft

Ashcroft then declared that Apu Nahasapeemapetilon was being detained indefinitely, without bail, for questioning as a material witness.