How Real Reporters Do It

While the American press is full of sanctimonious apologists for power, their Brit counterparts have a healthy disrespect for authority and, apparently, everyone else. The following may (or may not) explain why certain U.K. newspapers are livelier and better written than their counterparts in the States.

The undisputed winners are those Observer staff, led by editor Roger Alton, who spent two days at a country house hotel in July pondering the question: where do we go from here? The assembled hacks quickly came up with the answer: straight to the bar. After many comradely exchanges � �you�re fucking pissed, you wanker!� � news editor Andy Malone punched business editor Frank Kane, who fell on to a fire grate and fractured several ribs. Malone himself then keeled over, dead drunk, injuring his leg.

A �team-building� football match the next morning degenerated into a riot of wild tackling and mud-wrestling, and left acting review editor Tim Adams with a broken nose. �Fuck fuck fuck,� Alton muttered despairingly on returning to the office. �What the fuck�s happening to this paper?�

Andy and Frank are the kind of guys I'd love to see invited to Sally Quinn dinner parties.