The Undergraduate

(Inspired by a true story.)

I can't do this.

You what?

This is all terribly wrong.

Benjamin - do you find me undesirable?

Oh no, Mrs. Schlafly. I think -
I think you're the most attractive
of all my parents' friends.
I just don't think we could
possibly --

Are you afraid of me?

No - but look - maybe we could
do something else together,
Mrs. Schlafly - would you like
to go to a movie?

Benjamin, is this your first time?

Is this - what?

It is, isn't it? It is your
first time.