"I'd Rather Snitch Than Fight"

The chickenhawks are on the defensive again. Not that they've changed their minds on the War Against Not-Iraq. Rather, the chickenhawk defense industry has been working overtime to explain why they are morally superior to those who oppose warfare, even though they can't be bothered to break a nail in the cause of war.

In Slate, Chris Hitchens earns the dubious distinction of being more ignorant of American history than Macho Mike Kelly. Repeating Kelly's fraudulent argument that those who criticize "armchair generals" are arguing against civilian control of the military, Chris writes:

"One hopes that the next implication is inadvertent, but the clear suggestion is that there ought not to be civilian control of the military. What�have callow noncombatants giving brisk orders to grizzled soldiers? How could Lincoln have fired the slavery-loving Gen. George B. McClellan, or Truman dismissed the glorious Douglas MacArthur?"

The canard that President Lincoln avoided military service has already been discredited. He served in the Illinois militia during the Black Hawk War. And, contrary to Chris's slander, President Harry Truman saw combat in several key battles in World War I, as a captain in the National Guard.

Snitch also advances the intellectually bankrupt argument that criticizing "armchair generals" and "chickenhawks" is an unfair criticism of women, the disabled and the elderly, who cannot serve in combat. But he does not and cannot cite a single instance when the terms have been used to characterize people in those groups. (Fakes like Rush and his anal cyst don't count.) Chris is simply hiding behind those groups to deflect criticism from healthy, able-bodied men such as himself and his chickenhawk pals, who opposed warfare (at least for themselves) when their asses were on the line and are now all for it.

Chris would appreciate it if you call him an "intellectual militant" instead of a "chickenhawk." But his intellect is AWOL, so just call him a militant. He's ready to fight the war against Saddam, as long as it doesn't involve any actual fighting on his part, he doesn't have to make any sacrifice, and he gets paid by the word to endorse it. And don't forget to invite him to the after-party, where he can take all the credit. But don't worry about thanking him. It's the least he can do.

Update (11/13): Tbogg does it longer, harder and better.