Homeland Defense For Dummies

In his latest Tech Central Station column, Mastapundit G. Reynolds offers several suggestions as to what "individual citizens can do to prepare for a role in responding to, and preventing, terrorism." Unsurprisingly, each suggestion is stupider than the one before it.

1. Watch for suspicious behavior "[Terrorists] profess sympathy to Al Qaeda (a pretty good giveaway), they make threats, they brag to strippers, and they engage in various other kinds of behaviors that don't add up."

Patrick Ewing, Howard Stern and Bob Barr: the new Axis of Evil.

2. Watch for suspicious and nonsuspicious behavior "Short of that, just get into the habit of noticing what's going on around you. Scan for people who look suspicious, or who are acting oddly, unattended bags or packages, and so on. (For practice, try to notice something distinctive about each person you see - a tattoo, a crooked nose, whatever.)

Hey, look, there's a law professor who's got nothing to say. This is easy!

3. Carry a cell phone, a video camera and a gun (while staring at people).

And then watch people report you for looking suspicious.

4. Learn first aid

Okay. Not a bad idea, but it doesn't have much to do with preventing or responding to terrorism.

Of course, everyone knows the real secret to ending terrorism: Sitting on your ass and writing a "warblog." That'll bring al Qaida to its knees.