Jesus Loves Me, Fuck You Hos

Last week, from GOP mouthpiece Elizabeth Lauten:

How I did on Twitter this week: 7 Mentions, 146K Mention Reach, 15 Replies, 6 Retweets. How'd your week go? via http://t.co/ZoxN5epJ55
— Elizabeth (@DCGopGirl) November 25, 2014

This week, Lauten decided to up her mentions by taking some teenagers to task for not loving pink, green and pearls. That casual shit don't fly in the Junior League and the D.A.R, you no class b****es.

Ms. Lauten, who is in her mid-30s, formerly worked for the Godly Joe Walsh (R-IL), and John McCain, under whose tutelage she perfected her technique. She now runs a p.r. shop called Audeamus (pronunced "Adumbass" in a Southern accent) and works for some peckerwood Congressman from Tennessee. But she's learned from her recent experience -- specifically, she learned to hide behind God's skirts and make her insults available on a "friends only" basis.

Update (12/1):  Lauten is out of her job, while John McCain remains employed.  FOX News Channel would have scooped her up already, but for the fact she fails (the other) Ailes' first test for a female job applicant. 

Update II (12/1):  Bonus fun from the Smoking Gun: "Lauten, pictured above, was arrested in December 2000 for misdemeanor larceny, according to court records. Lauten, then 17, was collared for stealing from a Belk department store in her North Carolina hometown. Because Lauten was a first-time offender, her case was handled via the District Court’s deferred prosecution program, which resulted in the charge’s eventual dismissal after the future scold stayed out of trouble for a prescribed period."

Wingnut! Don't shoot!

An American Carol

.@Reuters Photo: Police form a line in the street under a holiday sign in Ferguson, Missouri -@BuzzFeedNews pic.twitter.com/95jnav2Lm3
— Mic (@micnews) November 25, 2014

Chuckie's In Love

For his sake, I hope Nate Silver can -- and does -- demand a retraction for this:

Nate Silver even singled out Todd as one TV pundit who was elevating campaign coverage.

Meanwhile, from the same article, the least shocking sentence ever written:

On a range of issues, from the stimulus to healthcare reform to Syria, Todd weighs in on how the process looked, while devoting barely a second’s thought to the policy’s merits.

That's because weak-chin Chuck hasn't ever had a thought about a policy's merits. It's not that he's incapable of understanding ideas and their consequences.  It's that he doesn't give a shit about policy. Only losers need policy.  As long as Chuckles has skybox access, where he can chat up his paymasters and his fellow fat and pasty thought leaders about sports scores, the possibility that a policy might lead to a thousand deaths or the denial of fundamental rights for Todd's fellow citizens won't enter his misshapen little head. 

Objectivity demands ignorance. 

The Mercury Lining

If only the hack Kaus had endorsed more Republicans.

Warning: Link goes to a hairless nut.