Grand Old Police Blotter: Randian Hero 2014 Edition

Meet today's William Hickman/John Galt, the ubermensch who struck a blow for freedom in San Francisco:

An Uber driver is accused of seriously injuring a passenger by bashing him on the head with a hammer in San Francisco’s Bernal Heights neighborhood, authorities said Friday.

Patrick Karajah, 26, of Pacifica pleaded not guilty Thursday in San Francisco Superior Court to charges of assault with a deadly weapon and battery with serious bodily injury. He is free on $125,000 bail.

Karajah allegedly picked up the victim and his two friends from a bar at about 2 a.m. Tuesday. While driving the two men and one woman to their destination, he got into a dispute with the victim over the route he was taking, according to court documents.

Karajah, who was driving for the basic UberX service, stopped near the intersection of Ellsworth Street and Alemany Boulevard and forced the victim and his friends to get out, according to documents.

Once the victim was out of the vehicle, Karajah struck him on the side of his head with a hammer, and then drove away, authorities said.

When police arrived, they reportedly found the victim slipping in and out of consciousness on the sidewalk, suffering from severe fractures and trauma to the head. Karajah was later arrested at his home in Pacifica.

An Uber mouthpiece states that the company takes "reports like this very seriously," by which she means that Uber shysters are ready to shout "independent contractor, terms of service, user agreement" at the victim if he comes out of his coma. And to pay idiot bloggers to post most pro-Uber crap on their blogs.

Update (9/28): Fixed, as per comments.

#WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

Chuck E. Todd sucking up to a slander site won't improve his credibility, even if he had any. #WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

The Exact Moment Ross Douthat Lost the Pretense of the Fiction of Credibility

I’ve been mostly ignoring the various “Romney 2016!” trial balloons floated by various parties over the last six months or so (including by some of my dear friends, alas), but now that someone as sober and well-informed as Byron York

By the time he gets to citing Ben Domenech, he's just jerking the lily.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Dinesh D'Souza's America Edition

Megyn Kelly's pal Dinesh D'Souza got five years' probation and eight months in a halfway house for criminal violations of federal election laws. He also got exposed as a thug, according to his ex-wife, Dixie:

Contrary to the statement made in Mr. D'Souza's sentencing memorandum, it is my former husband who has an abusive nature. In one instance, it was my husband who physically abused me in April 2012 when he, using his purple belt karate skills, kicked me in the head and shoulder, knocking me to the ground and creating injuries that pain me to this day.

Mrs. D'Souza also charges her former husband with having their daughter submit a letter containing false statements to the court: 

Dinesh lied to me, he lied to the government, he encouraged others to lie for him, and now he has allowed our daughter to submit multiple false statements to a federal court in order to avoid punishment. Dinesh D'Souza is not a truthful person.

The only question that remains: Will the halfway house allow D'Souza to install a remote studio for his Fox News appearances?

Update:  The daughter's letter states that Dixie was "abusive" toward D'Bag and that Dixie "had an affair with multiple people [sic]."  She also claims that D'Bag "would die for me. In a way like Jesus did."  (No link because, although a public record, the Exhibits to the Sentencing Memorandum contains addresses and contact information for other persons.)

#WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

Chuck Todd is a miserable failure who didn't deserve a show on basic cable, let alone a network news program  #WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

This Is The NFL

If you thought NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell's Friday presser smelled faintly of dead squirrel, rubber cement and flop sweat, and that Rog himself had all the sincerity of Willard the Mitt making small talk with the help, this will not surprise you:

Roger Goodell was talking, but the words weren't his alone. "That speech was all Frank," says an associate of pollster Frank Luntz, lord of the dark arts of political messaging....  

As it happened, Luntz himself was watching the press conference, in his capacity as a Fox Sports 1 talking head (he moonlights as a Fox News commentator and analyst). Not long after the commissioner left the podium, Luntz gave his review.

"This," he puffered, "was language perfection."

...

And yet here was Luntz, wreathing Goodell's press conference in kudos and hosannas.  

"I'm supposed to be a professional," Luntz said on Fox Sports 1.  "I couldn't have done it as well as he did."

You are a professional, Frankie.  We're just haggling about the price.

Luntz is such conflicted whore that he and Howie Kurtz fight for the same street corner. 

Confidential to Ken Burns

George F. Will is not an expert on Teddy Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt or Eleanor Roosevelt.  He has nothing original or insightful to say about any of them.

Just becaue Will sucked up to you about your Civil War series doesn't mean you have to include him, or the deadwood from the Morning Joe/Meet the Press green room, in your doc.

Fifty Shades Of 9/11 Troof

At least they had the decency not to release Atlas Tugged III: Who The Fuck Is That Supposed to Be? Is That Billy Ray Cyrus? on September 11, 2014.  The only recognizable face in this jackknifed trailer is 9/11 Truther Ron Paul.

Red carpet infestivities here. Even Libertarian Fonzie can barely give a shit.

Thug Life

I'm beginning to sense a pattern:

George Zimmerman, who once shot dead an unarmed teen, threatened to kill another driver during a road rage incident in central Florida this week, police say.

“Do you know who I am?” the 30-year-old asked the unnamed complainant during the incident Tuesday in Lake Mary, Fla., the driver told cops.

The man called 911 again two days later to report that Zimmerman was waiting outside his work.

And this: 

The Palin family was asked to leave the party after Track Palin, 21, allegedly attacked another party guest who had previously dated his younger sister, Willow Palin, Thompson said. 

“I heard Sarah Palin yell do you know who I am?"

When will this thuggery end?

Grand Old Police Blotter: Punch Drunk Repugs Edition

Saturday night's all right for fightin'.

Sarah Palin and her family were at the center of a lively party last weekend that erupted into a fight, with daughter Bristol Palin allegedly throwing a right hook, a man who says he was a guest at the party told ABC News.

“She was punching him [another man] in the face like six times; it was an assault if I’ve ever seen one,” Eric Thompson said, adding that he was among 70 guests at the birthday party in Anchorage Saturday.

“It wasn’t a light punch either. She was really hitting him. I’m surprised he just sat there and took it.”

Political blogger Amanda Coyne reported that Sarah Palin, along with husband Todd and kids Bristol, Willow and Track, arrived in a stretch Hummer and that the fighting started as the beer started flowing.

The Sarah Palin Channel's first pay-per-view!

I look forward to the MRA outrage about this. Paging "Doctor" Helen. "Doctor" Helen Smith, white courtesy phone.

The Palin family was asked to leave the party after Track Palin, 21, allegedly attacked another party guest who had previously dated his younger sister, Willow Palin, Thompson said. 

“I heard Sarah Palin yell do you know who I am?"

"I coulda been somebody! Erick Erickson once gave me a mug!"

Anyone e-mailing the Anchorage Police Department incident report to your correspondent will receive a free lifetime subscription to this blog.

N.B. -- This blog has withheld snarky comment on these baked Alaskans pending an on the record statement from a percipient witness.  We aren't Jim Hoft.

The Teacher (And English Graduate) Who Admits - I'm Illiterate And Therefore Well-Qualified to Write About Education Policy For The Daily Mail

This piece of happy horseshit is the most fraudulent thing the Daily Mail has published in hours.

And none of the commenters even question the premise of the article.

(An example: This twit expects us to believe that she and the other teachers at her primary school had to rely on the "head" to correct spelling errors in the end of term reports that were sent to parents. In and after 2005. Were these reports prepared on computers without spell-check?  Did the head re-type entire reports? Did the head happily proofread hundreds of reports for spelling errors, without consequence to the teachers who wasted her or his time?  Ms. Smith makes Michelle Rhee sound credible.)

As one subliterate wingnut at John Hawkins' website puts it: "This is a scorching indictment of Liberalism that not only applies across the pond but also her in America." (sic, baby!)

If It's A Lie, It's Meet The Chuck

Chuck Todd plays pocket pool on the JV team #WhatPeopleInWashingtonAreAfraidToSay

From the official Sept. 7 Chuck the Meat transcript:

PRES. OBAMA:

I'm preparing the country to make sure that we deal with a threat from ISIL. Keep in mind that this is something that we know how to do. We've been dealing with terrorist threats for quite some time. This administration has systematically dismantled Al Qaeda in the FATA.

ISIL poses a broader threat because of its territorial ambitions in Iraq and Syria. But the good news is coming back from the most recent NATO meeting is the entire international community understands that this is something that has to be dealt with.
....

CHUCK TODD:

You've not said the word, "Syria," so far in our conversation. Obviously, if you're going to defeat ISIS, you have used very much stronger language [sic]. It's gone through the week during your trip to Wales. You have got to go to Syria in some form or another.

Of course, that's the transcript of the edited interview. According to this site, in the unedited interview the President said the word "Syria" four times before Chuck said he hadn't.

The only rational conclusion is that Chuck had that scripted gotcha ready to roll in honor of the late Fathead Tim, and wasn't going to let the facts get in his way. Obviously Chuck's video editor failed him and let a presidential mention of Syria see the light of day, exposing the lie. I remember that heads rolled at NBC News when a misleadingly edited version of a 911 call was shown on Peacock TV. I doubt that a goateed head with male pattern baldness will be bouncing 'cross the floors of NBC as a result of Chuckie's failed stunt. 

It's not good optics.

(And no, Chuckie's simpering post-clip statement -- "He had mentioned it, but he hadn't said whether he was taking military action there" --doesn't cut it. He played his assertion, even though false, but deleted Obama's multiple mentions of Syria to bamboozle the viewers. Chuckles didn't ask Obama whether he was going to take military action in Syria. Chuckles couldn't be more dishonest if he tried.)

#WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

No one gives a shit about Joe Scarborough's idiot opinions #WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

#WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

"Big Russ and Me" was a steaming pile of horseshit #WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

#WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

Meet the Press is still weaker than Chuck Todd's chin  #WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

#WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

Tim Russert was a Cheney lickspittle #WhatEveryoneInWashingtonIsAfraidToSay

Sunday In the Park with Optics

If anyone thought that Chuck the Roast with Chuck E. Todd was going to be any different than Meet Dancin' Dave or Meet Pumpkinhead, I pity that fool.  Todd is simply the latest on the conveyor belt of pasty fatheads whose love for the country Republican Party is exceeded only by his love for seats in the owner's skybox at FedEx Field.

I caught the last 15 minutes of the program, in which our man Chuckles focused on the number one issue of nobody ever: optics.  Or, as it is more commonly known, Black Man Golfing. 

That was followed by a segment entitled "What Everyone In Washington Knows But Is Afraid to Say," in which the assembled courageous truthtellers spoke the unspeakable: Hillary Clinton is running for President.  If there is any fatuous blowhard in D.C. who hasn't said Clinton is running for President before Chuckie's program today, I'd like to know what she or he looks like, because she or he has never appeared on U.S. television. 

To be fair, perhaps the first 45 minutes of the program contained news and insightful analysis. To be fair, that would be contrary to everything in the last 10 years of Chuckie's career.  

Go Bills!

Allen Abduction

Is anyone surprised that Mike "Slappy" Allen's avatar at PoliticHo is an imbecilie running with scissors?

Does anyone else see the irony in the lying son-of-a-Birch Allen commenting on plagiarism in journalism, given Slappy's documented propensity for re-transcribing right-wing press releases and calling it a column? Or are we just haggling about the price?

Via sans Dios.

Too Late, So Thad

Chris McDaniel was late once again, announcing his soon-to-be rejected appeal in a Friday dump rather than last Tuesday, as he promised.  But at least he did it was class!

As his lawyers appealed dismissal of his election lawsuit to the state Supreme Court on Friday, Chris McDaniel referenced Nazism on his Facebook page.
"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil," McDaniel, who was reportedly out of state, posted Friday, quoting Deitrich Bonhoeffer, a Lutheran reverend and anti-Nazi dissident in World War II Germany. "God will not hold us guiltless … Not to act is to act."

In your case, McDaniel, not to act was malpractice.

Don't worry, Teabags, MickeyD has vowed to fight on until your money runs out. God will not hold you guiltless if you don't bon hoeffer, open wide and pony up!

As noted at The Week, McDaniel misspelled Bonhoeffer's first name.  Not to be a spelling Nazi or anything.

Fuck Them If They Can't Take They're A Joke

Here's one for that ancient sot Peggy Nooners and the other wingnut fans of Joan Rivers:

Rivers said, “Sarah Palin, I think she’s not my all time favorite. You know how you have a car sign that says be careful handicap person. I think when they have a retarded person driving a car it should be a picture of Sarah Palin with a line through it.”

That was a month ago. And it wasn't new material.  

The Palinically-challenged, like John Nolte (no link to Hoft Jnr.) simper about "Speech Enforcers" in their eulogies of Rivers. But it was FNC who booted Rivers from an appearance after she stated the obvious about Sharia Plain.  (See the new material link.)

Nooners is surely relieved that she wasn't famous enough for Rivers to say of her, “Number one, the girl made it on her back fucking the president, we all know that....Whatever she is, she’s a drunk."1 (At least in public.) Nooners just laps it up because it's not directed at her, and because her d.t.s cause her to forget she often pretends she's above all that.

In honor of Ronnie Veagan, call it "The Return of Senility." 

1 Rivers speaking of Chelsea Handler, in another context, in two separate quotes.

More News From The Federal Courts

"As we have been at pains to explain, the grounds advanced by Indiana and Wisconsin for their discriminatory policies are not only conjectural; they are totally implausible."

Also: "Heterosexuals get drunk and pregnant, producing unwanted children; their reward is to be allowed to marry. Homosexual couples do not produce unwanted children; their reward is to be denied the right to marry. Go figure."

Grand Old Police Blotter: Bob's Your Cellmate Edition

Two hours ago, according to this PoliticHo puffer, Gov. Bob McDonnell was "remarkably at peace." Now, Bob's unremarkably convicted. On 11 counts.

Somewhere in Hell, Eric Cantor laughs. Delayed gratification is everything.