Monday, July 21, 2008

Tomorrow's spin today

This wasn't supposed to happen:

The White House expressed unhappiness Monday about Iraqi leaders' public backing for Barack Obama's troop withdrawal timetable. And it said that Baghdad may be trying to use the U.S. presidential election as leverage in talks about the future of American's military presence and obligations in the war.

How do conservatives spin this?

Islamists make common cause with Barack HUSSEIN Obama.
Told you.
Told you.
Told you.

I don't blame the guy

Looks like 41 wishes he could trade lives with the probable 44:
There’s been plenty of second-guessing from Republican critics about Barack Obama's large-scale public events and speeches scheduled for his visit to Europe this week — but former President George H.W. Bush isn't one of them.

Asked today whether, as a former head of state who has a sensitivity about protocol, he has any thoughts about the appropriateness of Obama's planned events, the former President replied, "A little jealous, is all."
I guess if your children included the man whose name is synonymous with "miserable failure" and a married man who had sex with Asian prostitutes while on "business trips," you'd be jealous of just about anyone.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Why women become lesbians

Why women become lesbians

Without comment....

Gramm Cracker

Stupid fuck Phil Gramm gets ousted from the Tall Talk Express:

News broke at roughly 7:20 p.m ET this evening (July 18, 2008) that John McCain's "economic guru," Phil - whiner - Gramm, stepped down.

How many more? By the time November rolls around, it'll just be Johnny and his Robotron 9000 arm jewelry.

Another crimp in McCain's Depends:

The clear endorsement of Senator Barack Obama by Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki Saturday morning came as a strong blow to the McCain campaign.

McCain has claimed a superiority to Obama in matters of foreign policy as a major selling point to his candidacy for president, but that position is more difficult in the wake of al-Maliki's statement.

After hearing of the announcement, a sometime adviser to the McCain campaign said in an email, "We're f**ked," according to Mark Ambinder of The Atlantic.

Indeed, you are.

Y'all let me know when the clips become a little indulgent.
I Just Threw Up A Little In My Mouth

From the Weiner Nation:

"I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot.'"

"[I]f I behaved like a fool, my father called me a fool. And he said to me, 'Don't behave like a fool.' The worst thing he said -- 'Don't behave like a fool. Don't be anybody's dummy. Don't sound like an idiot. Don't act like a girl. Don't cry.' That's what I was raised with. That's what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You're turning your son into a girl, and you're turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That's why we have the politicians we have."

"[W]hy was there an asthma epidemic amongst minority children? Because I'll tell you why: The children got extra welfare if they were disabled, and they got extra help in school. It was a money racket. Everyone went in and was told [fake cough], 'When the nurse looks at you, you go [fake cough], "I don't know, the dust got me." ' See, everyone had asthma from the minority community."

Whew. That is one steaming pile of hate. But he has six thousand degrees! One of them is in botany, though-must be a fag.
Chavismo Comes To The Live Free Or Die State

Free oil, that is:

Two years ago, New Hampshire refused to accept heating oil from Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, the pro-Castro U.S. critic who once called President Bush “the devil.” But with fuel prices rising, well, free oil is free oil. With the state’s blessing, New Hampshire residents will be receiving some of the fuel this winter.

Discussion time-what is your opinion of Hugo Chavez? I like the guy. He heads one of the few countries that ignore Bush prick-waving, and never misses an opportunity to jab a finger in Chimpster's eye.

Another McCain Surrogate Opens His Big Fuggin' Trap

Yo, John Boy-does this guy speak for you or himself?

One of John McCain's fellow POW's in Vietnam defended the war in Iraq, saying, "The Muslims have said either we kneel or they're going to kill us.''In a phone call with reporters arranged by Republican Party of Florida, Colonel Bud Day added: "I don't intend to kneel and I don't advocate to anybody that we kneel, and John doesn't advocate to anybody that we kneel.

Blubbity blibber, click, pting! What fucking alternate universe are this people coming from? How do you paint 1/4 of the world's population with a brush the size of a skyscraper? Perhaps the Superman universe?

Crazy Dan

No wait, wrong Dan. Here's another Crazy Dan:

Damn, dude, at least correct yourself. Someone correct him. Jesus.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Waka Jawaka

Wingnut irony-it never fails to deliver teh laugh. NRO:

"Obama supports higher taxes for a government-run nanny state that will coddle all Americans like babies," "Obama gets support from Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Hanks, and every weenie in Hollywood," "Obama is married to a bitter, angry lawyer," etc.

Obama "projects weakness," and not just "the vacillating, flip flopping weakness of your garden variety politician," but a "screaming, flashing, neon light on the forehead weakness."

Kirsanow also finds weakness in Obama's "attitude and demeanor." He doesn't really explain, though he does mention famous bachelor Adlai Stevenson, claim (without supporting examples) that "when Obama tries to talk tough it sounds either silly or plaintive," and make a jerking motion with his fist near his mouth while poking his cheek with his tongue.

Yeah. Because the NRO stable is full of testosterone breathing, bucking studs.

Make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream!
The Dude Bomb

Dr. James Ketchum tested a potent form of synthetic marijuana on soldiers to develop a secret weapon in the '60s. Now he's telling the tale.

Ketchum was referring to his work at Edgewood Arsenal, headquarters of the U.S. Army Chemical Corps, in the 1960s, when America's national security strategists were high on the prospect of developing a nonlethal incapacitating agent, a so-called humane weapon, that could knock people out without necessarily killing anyone. Top military officers hyped the notion of "war without death," conjuring visions of aircraft swooping over enemy territory releasing clouds of "madness gas" that would disorient the bad guys and dissolve their will to resist, while U.S. soldiers moved in and took over.

Now there's some collateral damage I would not mind being a victim of.
Hear Hear

Stickers available at BartCop.
Let's Go To The Movies

I watched the Fellini Satyricon last night.

Oh my dog, what a trip. I don't think I've seen anything this profoundly fucked before. I'm a big David Lynch fan, but this outpaces even his skullfuckery. Even weirder than El Topo. You will want to keep the bong and the amyl nitrate close for this mammyjammer.

The storyline is...


I have no idea. Slave boys, gibbering midgets, luxury drunk Roman consuls, priapism, spotty subtitling, lavish, deranged sets-Fellini deserves credit for keeping the whole mess in control. It's a filmic travesty, and an insult to good taste-so see it.
No Mention Of Wes Clark...Interesting

The latest Zogby poll results on who voters would like to see as Obama's Vice President is a little odd. Leading the pack? Colin Powell.

Likely Voters



More Likely

Less Likely

More Likely

Less Likely

More Likely

Less Likely

Colin Powell







Hillary Clinton







Bill Richardson







Joe Biden







Kathleen Sebelius







Tim Kaine







Evan Bayh







I assume that most of you are Obama supporters. I thought Taylor Marsh's behavior was an absolute disgrace. I didn't know Democrats were capable of such rancor and bile. Being a recovering conservative myself, I knew what those cocksuckers were capable of-I had no idea that the smarter half of the electorate could be so petty and venal.

Back to the survey. Powell has had it with politics. He faithfully served Republican administrations for over 20 years, and for his efforts he was presented with being the man who lied to the UN about Iraq, providing the impetus for America's stupidest war. Somehow I doubt he's going to be excited about a return to the political grind. Fool him once-he can't get fooled again.

When the county won't give you no more methadone

From Lileksville, USA, comes a sordid little story about someone accused of stealing narcotic medication. Refreshingly, this time Cindy McCain doesn't seem to be directly involved:
A nurse who works at the Hennepin County Jail and is married to a sheriff's deputy was charged Thursday with two felony theft counts for allegedly removing methadone from the jail dispensary.

Sarah DeSpiegeleare is charged with stealing methadone intended for an inmate on two occasions over several hours, according to Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman. She also was charged with one count of drug possession.

DeSpiegeleare's husband, Hennepin County Deputy Steve DeSpiegeleare, a courthouse and jail guard, is well regarded by his colleagues and was recently assigned to work on logistics for the Republican National Convention.
The Republican National Convention? Maybe this is related to the Baroness of Budweiser after all.

(Cross-posted at Yazoo Street Scandal.)
Almost As Good As The Cameron Banana

Plato had his cave. Leibniz had his monads. Anselm had his ontological argument. In that spirit, I present you Grandpa John and the Electric Pickle.

You will want these four minutes back.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Another Johnson heard from

Hi, I'm Anthony Cartouche of the obscure blog Yazoo Street Scandal. Last year Roger was kind enough to allow me to serve as one of his fill-ins while he was on vacation. Apparently Roger learned nothing from that experience, because he's letting me do it again this year.

Besides guesting at Roger's place, my fifteen minutes of bloggy fame came last fall, when both Atrios and the HuffPo linked to my post noting that Earl Sinclair Hickey of the NBC sitcom My Name Is Earl had been assigned the same prisoner number that Scooter Libby was supposed to get before he got pardoned his sentence was commuted by the Asshole-in-Chief. That catch on my part increased my readership from an average of three to an astronomical eight or ten. Sadly, despite my best efforts, this did not translate to a lucrative book contract for me, nor was I invited to join the stable of writers at The Atlantic. Judith Regan never even returned my calls. But hey, life goes on.

Thanks, Roger, for letting me crash on your couch again.

I look forward to joining Ron and Kikuchiyo Jones as we try to fill Roger's sensible but stylish shoes. I hope we can entertain and amuse you, gentle blog reader, while Roger is gone. If not, fret not—he will be back soon.

Corrections: As commenter ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© notes, Libby was not pardoned; rather, his sentence was commuted. Further, commenter Stitch notes that on the show, Earl's name is Hickey, not Sinclair, thinking perhaps I was making some joke that he didn't get. No, just good old human error on my part, Stitch. I attribute it to a flashback to the times I spent watching this show with my children.

Two stupid mistakes in my first post. Boy, I bet Roger will be proud.

Suddenly...The Decider Is Listening To The Generals

Suddenly...The Decider Is Listening To The Generals

Well, not in the way we hoped:

President Bush and Iraq’s prime minister have agreed to set a “general time horizon” for bringing more U.S. troops home from the war, a dramatic shift from the administration’s once-ironclad unwillingness to talk about any kind of deadline or timetable.

I'm telling you, either Bush is sober or on the sauce again...many of his recent moves defy the Bush reality. Naturally, we're going to see a series of reversals aimed at making the new GOP nominee more "at home" with the voters. Fortunately, for us leftist scuzz, it's all aimed at the mushy center, and let's face it, we could use the shift.



I am also not Larry, Scott, or Charles, or RonB for that matter and I have also been given the keys to RogerAiles LLC while Roger undergoes that painfully embarrassing operation visits relatives.

I promise to keep it short and pithy just like mom used to make.

In the meantime, and for the record, although I am disappointed to see that Matt Yglesias is leaving The Atlantic, I think that we can all rest assured that the Voices department at The Atlantic Online will continue to be devoted to the important issues of the day.

Introductions Are In Order

I'm not, Larry, Scott, or Charles, but I have been invited to blog.

Ron. Pleased to meet the Ailes gang.

I'm still an active duty soldier in the Army, so if you want to know what Iraq was like, feel free to ask.

The Shi'a are gracious and nice people. I did not meet any Sunnis. Based on what I know about Islam, I imagine they are no different. I find Islam to be the second most kind religion on the globe. I've read the Koran. Allah is kind of a dick, but he obviously has done some good in teaching Arabs modesty and humility...hospitality and mercy. If only the Christians actually listened to their Christ.

Hm. I don't want to come across too seriously. I have a decent wit, just not today. I promise I will provide some marginally spotty snark as befits this blog. I'm a Blog-City blogger, so I am doomed to obscurity-that's why I'm glad Roger let me post. I have posted previously on Grouchy's Liberaltopia, and that's the extent of my resume. Well, there was one time when skippy the bush kangaroo was very helpful with a few links, and I was a major antagonist in the KT Cat flareup. In case you are unfamiliar with this dustup, KT said that statistically speaking, blacks have destroyed society at the molecular level. Alicublog pounced, and the rest is insignifcant blog history.

Thanks for letting me in the door, Roger, and I hope that everyone has a little fun while Roger is away. I promise, lighthearted snark is on the menu. I may not have Roger's depth of sarcasm and reference, but I'll do the best I can. Let the colosseum bay and clamor as they may!
I'm off to the soon-to-be ex-Red States. Your substitute hosts, Charles, Scott and Larry, will be posting or not as they see fit.

Please give them a warm welcome.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

What's more worthless than MoDo and a priest on marriage? Kathryn Jean Lopez and the Pope on sex.
Cosmo [Mona Charen]

Funny you should mention that. I was in the supermarket yesterday with my 14-year-old son who asked "What's up with Cosmopolitan? What is that?" I replied, "It's a magazine for sluts."

I hate to break it you, Mona, but what the kid said was "What's up with Cosmolepolitan?" And quitely laughed his ass off.

Why Do People Hate Matt Pressman?

Because he tries to answer the question of why people on the left hate the New York Times by asking the Doughy Fucking Pantload.

Go back to fetching Graydon Carter's cigarettes, Matt.

Shorter MoDo

Screw the economy, Americans want a president I can laugh at.

MoDo pats herself on the back again, pretending she's the only one with the courage to make fun of the elitist Negro. Is it any surprise she much prefers the comedy stylings of John "the Diceman" McCain?

Yeah, Maureen, OldieMac is the kind of guy who just loves harmless teasing.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Grand Old Police Blotter: Weldon, Thou Bad and Faithless Public Servant Edition

It's a family affair. It's a family affair.

For the East Coast Duke Cunningham, that is:

A federal investigation into alleged corruption by former ex- [sic] Rep. Curt Weldon (R-Pa.) appears to be closing in on the former lawmaker, as a Pennsylvania lobbyist close to Weldon was charged Tuesday with destroying evidence.

Taking a page from the "How Not to Handle Evidence" handbook, lobbyist Cecilia Grimes allegedly threw documents in the trash after they were subpoenaed by a federal grand jury and also threw away her Blackberry at a fast-food restaurant, on the theory that such a stealthy move would prevent the feds from reading her email.

Weldon earned the dreaded appellation "Representative A" in papers filed by the Justice Department in federal court, and his former chief of staff has already pleaded guilty to federal charges and is cooperating with the investigation. The ex-lawmaker, an expert on Russia, has been accused of steering federal money to Grimes' clients and of helping his daughter, Karen Weldon, win lobbying contracts with Russian companies and a controversial Serbian businessman.

Karen Weldon's home and that of another supporter of her father were raided by the FBI just weeks before the 2006 election. Weldon lost his reelection race that November to current Rep. Joe Sestak (D).

Weldon closed his campaign committee in May, after transferring nearly $80,000 to a legal expense trust.

Some of you might remember Crazy Curt from The Hunt For WMD. Maybe Karen's Russian clients were the ones who smuggled the WMD out of Iraq.

A Coup

Roger Ailes, the blog, has scored a coup: Three remarkably gifted and well-respected bloggers will be providing content in the editor's absence. I don't want to give away too much, so I'll just refer to them as Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson.

Department of Clarification

Gang members involved in knife crime should be seen as 'moronic' rather than as glamorous figures like Shakespeare's Mercutio, Boris Johnson said today.

Now there's a mistake I won't make again. Thanks, Boris.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

News You Can't Use

MoDo and a priest give marriage advice.

Whose is more worthless?

Iraq War Survivor Passes Away At 53

More here.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

The Heart of Redness

As part of Roger Ailes' commitment to provide its readers with the finest campaign coverage on the internet, your humble correspondent will take a trip at the end of the month to one of the reddest states in America. There, I will take the pulse of Bush/McCain dead-enders who hope to retain the Chateau Blanc. I will be reporting from the safety of a Blue Zone, and will employ a cadre of armed guards and press sycophants, Saint John-style, should I venture out to any shopping malls or flea markets for phoney photo-ops with carefully-vetted natives. If and when I return safely, I will post exciting dispatches about my exploits.

Due to recent layoffs, however, this blog will have to go dark while my investigation is underway. Fortunately, readers will not be able to differentiate this trip from all the other times when I just couldn't be bothered to post for a week. Nevertheless, if anyone cares to blog-sit in my absence, drop me a line at the address and I'll be happy to hand you the keys.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Adams Looking 4 His Eve

Some at the festival were on a more personal mission.

Timothy Adams, a 54-year-old on disability who drove from Daytona, Florida, with his motorbike on a trailer behind his camper van, had placed a placard on the windscreen of his vehicle reading: "Wanted: Stalwart Christian woman 4 wife."

He said he hadn't heard back from any women.

"There's a lot of guys who are looking for wives," Adams said, wearing a T-shirt that said "Satan Sucks," partly obscured by his long beard. "It's hard to find a Christian woman, there's so few of them around."

They must've been at the Aspen Ideas Festival, dude.

Dead On The Fourth of July

Unlike the p.r. flacks manipulating the corpse of Jesse Helms, the proprietors of the Liberty Film Festival couldn't bother maintain the fiction that the festival survived to see the Fourth:

July 3rd, 2008

Dear Liberty Film Festival friends and supporters,

The Liberty Film Festival is currently on hiatus. We want to thank all the filmmakers who have submitted their projects to us. Films submitted to us through July 3rd, 2008 will still be considered for screening events, but we are no longer accepting submissions at this time.

Please return to this website for further announcements regarding the Liberty Film Festival.

Thank you, and best wishes,

Jason Apuzzo & Govindini Murty

LFF Co-Founders & Co-Artistic Directors

This is puzzling indeed. Why, it seems like just seven days ago that LFF was crowing about its amazing growth and success:

The first festival featured 20 films and 3,000 people turned up, with "people saying, 'This is our Woodstock,'" said Murty. "Each year, we saw our submissions doubling." This year, Liberty's Internet presence is increasing, with trailers, shorts, features, streamlining, DVD sales and film reviews from conservative critics.

And nothing increases one's internet presence like going on hiatus and refusing submissions. Or failing to post any content to your site the six months before that.

The proprietors don't explain the reasons for the "hiatus," but it would irresponsible not to speculate.

Did "Dirty Harry" take the Betamax equipment with him?

Did Govindini pull the plug on Apuzzo's vacuum cleaner fetish?

Did the rising price of gasoline result in layoffs at the car wash where Apuzzo was employed?

Fortunately, film fans can still enjoy the Libertas blog, where Apuzzo provides the invaluable service of posting the Turner Classic Movies schedule verbatim. Never has the new media shone brighter!

(Via Scott M. in alicublog comments.)

Andrew McCarthy was a former AUSA, but he's still a dumbfuck. Here he demonstrates the special skills that qualifies him for membership in The Corner:

Relevant to the issue we've talked about here and on Bench Memos, the Post says it takes the vote of five justices to rehear a case — although the editors do not say how they know that.

Yeah. It's a big fucking secret. The Post must have a mole deep inside the Supreme Court who gives them all the unwritten, super-confidential insider secrets.


Another East Coast/West Coast feud is brewing:

As thousands of singers converge on Nashville for an international convention of barbershop harmony music, the old-fashioned music style is facing discord among its fans.

The 70-year-old Barbershop Harmony Society moved to Tennessee last year from Kenosha, Wis., as a part of a move by leadership to recruit more youth and modernize the organization.


But traditionalists of the a capella chorus music that dates back to 1900 have accused leaders of forgetting the past. Some members have started the Barbershop Quartet Preservation Association, a parallel organization with its own convention and meetings.

"What others want to do, we take no exception," said Jack Martin, the newer group's chairman. "We just want to do our thing."

The signature sound of four unaccompanied male voices singing in harmony has been the roots of the style, but modernizers want new blood and fresh ideas. Supporters of the traditional style are also known as "kibbers," for the slogan "Keep It Barbershop."

Martin's quartet will premiere its newest single, "Fuck Kenosha," at the convention. And the Dad's Root Beer will flow like Cristal.

The article also mentions that the average barbershop singer is only slightly younger than John McCain.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Patriotism At Its Finest

Jesse Taylor shows an elderly blogger how to write, reason and amuse:

76,000 people "blindly" screaming "Defense" a week and a half later, though, is as American as apple pie in a motherfucking Camaro parked on Mahmoud Achmedinejad's balls.

If the senile old gent could write like that, he'd still have a book contract rather than a wingnut welfare grant.

Friday, July 04, 2008


What do you say when a vile racist and homophobic bigot dies, a man who opposed integration, civil rights and research into a cure for AIDS?

Update: At The Corner, John J. Miller soils his sheets while reading the Times obit of Senator No More. Says Miller: "'opposed civil rights'? Uh, no. He opposed a particular vision of them."

Uh, yes, he did:

"To rob the Negro of his reputation of thinking through a problem in his own fashion is about the same as trying to pretend that he doesn't have a natural instinct for rhythm and for singing and dancing," he wrote in 1956, according to the AP."

It's a shame Helms didn't live to see the election of President Obama.

To Confirm A Thief

Wingnut legal scholarship in a nutshell: Steal someone else's intellectual property, collect power and prestigious friends among the rabid right, and lie like hell when caught. (Also known as Goegleining.) The punishment for the crime? Lifetime tenure on the federal bench.

The shoe is now on the other foot. President Bush nominated Mr. [Michael] O'Neill to be a judge on the Federal District Court here last month, and there are signs that his nomination might be a difficult one as well.

Last year, a peer-reviewed legal journal, the Supreme Court Economic Review, issued a retraction of an article by Mr. O'Neill in 2004. "Substantial portions" of the article, the editors wrote, were "appropriated without attribution" from a book review by another law professor. In addition, at least four articles by Mr. O'Neill in other publications contain passages that appear to have been lifted from other scholars’ works without quotation marks or attribution.

Long passages in the 2004 article are virtually identical to the book review, which was published in 2000 in the Virginia Law Review and was written by Anne C. Dailey, a law professor at the University of Connecticut.


Emily A. Lawrimore, a White House spokeswoman, said Mr. O'Neill had been "completely forthcoming from the start of the vetting process and had “expressed remorse for his actions."

"He was highly recommended to President Bush," Ms. Lawrimore said of Mr. O’Neill, "and the president is confident he will make an excellent judge."

Of course he is.

This explains quite a bit.

Friends and colleagues describe Mr. O'Neill as a creative, fair and exceptionally able lawyer. He is a graduate of Brigham Young University and Yale Law School, and he served as a law clerk to Justice Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court and Judge David B. Sentelle of the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. He is working on a master's degree in writing fiction.

Clarence should be able to give O'Neill tips on giving perjured testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Or maybe O'Neill can just call the proceedings a high-tech lynching. Without attribution.

Rip O'Neill give a partial Shalit defense:

Mr. O'Neill was contrite about the duplications, blaming "a poor work method." He said he often mingled research materials and his own work in a single computer file. "I didn't keep appropriate track of things," he said. "I frankly did a poor and negligent job."

LEXIS makes thievery so easy.

I await with anticipation the chorus of outrage from conservative legal bloggers such as Instacracker, Althouse and Assrocket. I'll just sit back and enjoy this beautiful CD of cricket sounds while they compose their posts.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

A common sight for those who frequent the less reputable watering holes and more reputable dinner parties in Our Nation's Capital.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Message: McCain Is Not Old

Even McCain contest winners are on message discipline. From a McCain campaign e-mail:

Dear Rick [Davis, McCain Campaign Manager],

Thank you and everyone involved for both putting together the contest and for the wonderful time that Elliot and I had on the bus! We are still very inspired and overwhelmed by the time we spent with Senator McCain, his family and staff. They were all very gracious and made us feel like we had known them for years. We have a new understanding and an increased appreciation for what political candidates go through on a day to day basis. The schedule is grueling. Senator and Mrs. McCain do it with grace and make it look easy . . . but it is not.

When we finished at the luncheon, we went back to our hotel and took a nap. I am a seasoned nurse and thought I had a lot of stamina, but I was drained. We have both told many people about our experience and what a personable, hard-working, and good-humored person Senator McCain is. We have been John McCain supporters for many years and will be doing our best to work at the grassroots level on his behalf until he is elected as our next president in November.

Again, thanks and best wishes to all for the awesome time.

Vivian and Elliot

If too many of her patients start dying after lunch, Viv can always get a job in p.r.

Monday, June 30, 2008


Oh, oh. More Americans will die because of unelected judges from the Reagan and Bush administrations:

With some derision for the Bush administration's arguments, a three-judge panel said the government contended that its accusations against the detainee should be accepted as true because they had been repeated in at least three secret documents.

The court compared that to the absurd declaration of a character in the Lewis Carroll poem "The Hunting of the Snark": "I have said it thrice: What I tell you three times is true."

"This comes perilously close to suggesting that whatever the government says must be treated as true," said the panel of the Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit.

The unanimous panel overturned as invalid a Pentagon determination that the detainee, Huzaifa Parhat, a member of the ethnic Uighur Muslim minority in western China, was properly held as an enemy combatant.

"Whatever the government says must be true" pretty much defines the Bush Administation's governing philosophy. And it's the exact opposite that's true.

Always Be Your Own Person

I'm guessing(*) Terrebonne Parish is a G.O.P. shithole stronghold:

HOUMA, La. (AP) -- School officials in Terrebonne Parish are considering a policy that would require all commencement speeches to be in English.

The proposal comes after Hue and Cindy Vo, cousins who were co-valedictorians at Ellender High School, delivered part of their commencement addresses last month in Vietnamese.

Cindy Vo, the daughter of Vietnamese immigrants, spoke about high-school memories, friends and the future. Then Ms. Vo, 18, recited a sentence in Vietnamese dedicated to her parents, as they watched. She told classmates that the line, roughly translated, was a command to always be your own person.

David Bourg, the secondary education supervisor with the Terrebonne Parish School District, is forming a committee of educators to study the graduations at the four high schools and to make recommendations to the school board. Officials are also considering other proposals, like requiring a prayer during the ceremony.

Congratulations to Ms. Vo for her accomplishments, and for escaping that cracker hellhole.

* I guessed right.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Roger's Bible Study

On this holiest of days -- the day off -- we turn to matters theological. Our lesson this morning is from the Gospel of Saint James, whose author recalls the woman taken in adultery:

I don't question Quinn's grief or the sincerity of her gesture, though I suspect that Quinn may have also queued up to receive Communion because it would give everyone at the service an opportunity to get a good look at her on such a somber, star-studded occasion.

Well put!

Seems like Sally Quinn took a bite out of Christ during the Tim Russert Farewell Tour even though she's not a Catholic, and hilarity ensued. Wolcott points out that Quinn, the Marion Davies of Our Beltway Betters, was given charge of the Washington Post's On Faith e-section even though she lacks a certain grasp of the fundamentals. What Quinn does have is connections to a higher power, namely, droning God-botherer Jon Meacham. To Quinn and her ilk, religion is another neighborhood/private school/gala charity ball where knowing the right people gets you in -- and by "you," she means her and not you.

Meanwhile, there are growing hopes that there will be a peace settlement between the Jews and the Presbyterians:

Seeking elusive balance on Middle East issues, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) General Assembly on Friday urged its members to become "nonpartisan advocates for peace" and "a voice for the victims of violence in both Israel and Palestine."

But disagreement also erupted over the assembly's decision to endorse an Arab-Israeli peace proposal that Jewish leaders say would spell the end of the state of Israel. The high emotions around the resolutions underscored tensions in a denomination that traditionally has identified strongly with the Palestinian cause but has made an effort recently to be more sensitive to Jewish concerns.


Several Jewish groups issued a joint statement Friday welcoming the Presbyterians' move "toward balance" on its policies in the region but raised concern about the endorsement of the Amman Call. Jonathan Bernstein, director of a San Francisco-based regional office of Anti-Defamation League, echoed that view.

"It's a sign to me that we need to do more dialogue in educating with the Presbyterian Church," Bernstein said [somewhat incoherently -- RA].

Blessed are the cheesemakers indeed.

(By the way, Quinn's article on Pumpkinhead's passing contains multiple nuggets of found comedy gold, especially Tim's Friday Random Ten, the miracle at the memorial, and Tim's advice on heart health.)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

We've Lost Pixar

Digital Animation Studio Objectively Pro-Terrorist, Cries Kiddie-Film Watching Moron

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Brand Jesus

Another Christian educator has fallen victim to political correctness. John Freshwater wanted to make Our Savior relevant to the youth of Mount Vernon, Ohio, and there's nothing that middle schoolers love more than body modifications. But Satan said "No":

A Mount Vernon teacher undermined science instruction in the public school district by discrediting evolution in his classroom and focusing on creationism and intelligent design, an investigation has found.


For 11 years, other teachers in the school district and people in the community complained about Freshwater preaching his Christian beliefs in class and slamming scientific theories, a school administrator told investigators.


The report confirmed that Freshwater burned crosses onto students' arms, using an electrostatic device, in December.

Freshwater told investigators the marks were X's, not crosses. But all of the students interviewed in the investigation reported being branded with crosses. The investigation report includes a photo of one student's arm with a long vertical line and a short horizontal line running through it.
Not only did the kids learn a valuable lesson about the regenerative properties of skin cells, they learned the basics of tattooing as well. What pre-teen doesn't want to look like his or her favorite death row inmate or member of Fall Out Boy? And it's not like Freshwater had reason to believe it was dangerous to burn human flesh.

Sadly, there are some backsliders who refuse to support Freshwater fully:

Freshwater's friend Dave Daubenmire defended him.

"With the exception of the cross-burning episode.... I believe John Freshwater is teaching the values of the parents in the Mount Vernon school district," he said.

You can't be a true Christian or a true American if you don't support cross-burning, Daubsy.

Freshwater also gave students extra credit for watching the movie Expelled as well. I smell sequel! And get those folks from Liberty Film Festival on the blower!

I'm guessing John the Baptist's got a entire basement full of spanking videos, and not just The Passion of the Christ, either. Let's hope his coreligionists in the wingnutosphere take up John's crusade so he can get back to suffering the little children by the beginning of the school year.