Insurance Is Not Pie

The worst non-negative campaign commercial of 2006 belongs to Cruz Bustamante, California Democrat. The following is a close paraphrase of Bustamante's voiceover.

Seriously.

"I was really fat. (Photo of fat Bustamante) I made a promise to my family that I would lose weight. And I lost 70 pounds. (Photo of less fat Bustamante) I always keep my promises. And I promise if I am elected Insurance Commissioner, I will lower your insurance rates."

The spot is much worse than Diane Feinstein's ad with her granddaughter, a victory lap waste of money, since Feinstein's unbeatable. And it's worse than Phil Angelides' "Let Your Love Flow" ad for 100 Mellow Gold Hits. Only the "About Time For 89" rap is a close contender.

If Hollywood is so friggin' liberal, why can't any California Democrat come up with a decent political commercial?

A political campaign highlighting the pol's history as a former fatty isn't going to work for Mike Huckabee, and it's not going to work for Bustamante. I couldn't vote for Bustamante's opponent, anti-consumer phony Steve Poizner, who appears to have a television ad budget ten times Bustamante's. But Bustamante's defeat seems inevitable if the best he can do is talk about his weight.

Charlie Rose: Always Low-Priced

Despite the widely-held belief that I hate everything and everyone, I'm really a nice person. Having said that, Charlie Rose has always rubbed me the wrong way. Like the rest of public broadcasting, Rose is sucking up to one of his country's worst employers, Wal-Mart:

Now, less than three months later, Mr. Rose is honoring [Wal-Mart CEO H. Lee] Scott for his work on behalf of the environment at a private dinner party tonight in Manhattan, paid for by Bob and Harvey Weinstein's production company, the Weinstein Company. Mr. Rose's name appeared as a host, alongside that of Bob Wright, chief executive of NBC Universal; James L. Dolan, chief executive of Cablevision Systems; and a dozen other prominent figures from the New York media and financial industries.

Being honored by Bob Wright for your impact on the environment is like being honored by Pol Pot at the Zero Population Growth Banquet.

Rose's defense of his conduct is one worthy of his fellow ethicist, Pete Rose:

Mr. Rose agreed to be a dinner host, he said, because "Harvey Weinstein, who is a friend of mine, called and asked me to do this as a favor. I said I would do it for him as long as I do not have to do anything."

Here's hoping Harvey will ask Rose to stop doing his show.

You Can't Make This Shit Up

On the local NBC news at 11, they promoed an interview of Bush by Maria Bartiromo. In it, the anchor claimed, Bush said that he never used e-mail because of privacy concerns.

Anyone think that Bartiromo asked a follow-up?

Update (10/24): Dan Froomkin has the quote, which is a little different than the anchor's paraphrase. Bush doesn't use e-mail because of "the different record requests that can happen to a president." Too lazy to delete and shred, like his daddy done. Lawful process bad; unlawful process good.

Froomkin also links to the Google satellite image of Bush's Playskool Ranch, so we can still back and wait for the jihad of the deranged and undermedicated to commence in 3, 2 ....

Grand Old Police Blotter: The Skilling Kind Edition

Convicted Bush supporter Jeffrey K. Skilling has just become the dumbest guy in the cell. United States District Judge Simeon Lake today sentenced the unrepenitent Republican to 24 years in the penitentiary for securities fraud and conspiracy:

The judge's sentence fell within the 2000 federal sentencing guidelines. Judge Lake rejected the government's call to use stricter 2001 guidelines. But he found several reasons to increase Mr. Skilling's sentence into a range of 292 months to 365 months, or 24 years and 4 months to 30 years and 5 months.

The higher sentence, the judge said, was because he found that Mr. Skilling had lied to the Securities and Exchange Commission about the real reasons for his sales of Enron stock before the company's collapse in December 2001. Mr. Skilling said he sold the stock only because of the impact on the market of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

So 9/11 didn't change everything.

It's a shame Jeff didn't apply his considerable talents where they would have been appreciated -- for the Coalition Provisional Authority.

See you in 2030, Jeff.