Don't Tell Phyllis That The Justice Isn't A Christian, Either

Phyllis Schlafly is off her medications once more. Here's a recent hallucination from the wizened wingnut:

[U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader] Ginsburg's writing and speaking style is usually somewhere between convoluted and obscure, but she delighted the new group with a noteworthy triple-entendre. Referring to Supreme Court decisions, she urged us to get rid of "the Lone Ranger mentality."

First, this was clearly a cut at the president because he is closely associated with the word ranger. He once was a part owner of Major League Baseball's Texas Rangers and his top-of-the-line fund-raisers are affectionately called rangers.

Second, Ginsburg's remark was a not-so-subtle sneer at the president's foreign policy, which has been impudently criticized by snooty Europeans for its unilateralism and "cowboy" approach. Ginsburg bragged that the Supreme Court is "becoming more open to international law perspectives," looking to United Nations treaties and foreign courts for guidance in deciding gay rights, death penalty and affirmative action cases.

Third, Ginsburg's comment was indelibly characteristic of the biased language of radical feminists who hate everything masculine. The Lone Ranger and the Texas Rangers, God bless them, are very masculine.

Who knew that Justice Ginsburg was such a castrating bitch?

Furthermore, Ginsburg's use of the word "Lone" was a blatant reference to Neil Bush's involvement in the Silverado scandal, and "mentality" was cruel slap at Bush for his inability to understand four syllable words.

Update (8/23): Edited to correct spelling of Justice Ginsburg's name.

In Other News

The Virgin Ben is considering a suit against Al Franken for the unauthorized use Ben's trademark, "Savin' It!"

Memo to Convicted Felons In Alabama

You're all free to go. God doesn't want you to be in prison. What you did was blessed by the Almighty and, even if it wasn't, God forgives you. The State of Alabama has no right to defy God's will. And if you have to kill a few prison guards to reclaim your God-given freedom, go right ahead. It's your duty.

A Little Chin Music

United States District Judge Denny Chin throws a high, hard one right under Roger Ailes' quintuple chins:

"There are hard cases and there are easy cases. This is an easy case," said U.S. District Judge Denny Chin, who added that the motion for an injunction was "wholly without merit."

He said it is highly unlikely that consumers would be misled to think that Fox is sponsoring the book. He also said the trademark is weak.

The Majesty Of The Marketplace

People are talking about the fundraising gimmick of stripper/porn actress/California gubenatorial candidate Mary Carey, who hopes to raise campaign funds from civic-minded persons willing to pay for $5,000 for a platonic meal.

Hesiod points out there's no quid pro quo involved. And, apparently no quim pro quo either.

Meanwhile, a dinner with George Bush goes for a more modest two grand.

It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Kane, Kane, Kane, Kane, Kane, Kane, Kane World

Madeleine Kane, parodist without equal, gives us a fair and balanced musical look at Fox News. Simply brilliant.

Another reason we love Mad Kane: Her profile of John Mortimer, author of the Rumpole stories. Mortimer is a favorite in the Ailes household.

Speed Kills

There's nothing funny about the fatal accident allegedly caused by South Datoka's Republican representative, Bill Janklow. Nor is there any particular partisan issue raised by the killing. You've got to wonder, however, why Janklow was allowed to drive.

Janklow's driving record -- including a string of speeding tickets and at least seven reported accidents -- has been a known factor in South Dakota politics for years. In his State of the State speech to the legislature in 1999, then-Gov. Janklow addressed the issue.

"Bill Janklow speeds when he drives," Janklow said. "Shouldn't, but he does. When he gets the ticket, he pays it. But if someone told me I was going to jail for two days for speeding, my driving habits would change. I can pay the ticket, but I don't want to go to jail."

If Janklow's extreme recklessness is borne out by an investigation, jail time certainly would be appropriate.

Onward, Christian Soldiers

The biblical illiterates are starting to re-arm.

Alabama's associate Supreme Court Justices might want to watch their backs in the coming weeks.

Many of Justice Moore's supporters were outraged by the other justices' action. "Does Judas mean anything to you?" Rusty Thomas, a minister from Waco, Tex., said. "Those judges betrayed a righteous man. They'll pay the price."

We all know what happens when a religious nut from Waco threatens you.

And in Florida, "pro-life" forces prepare to kill again.

The judge who sentenced Paul Hill to death in 1994 for the murder of an abortion doctor in Pensacola has received a death-threat letter containing a rifle bullet -- making him the fourth official in Florida to be targeted in a campaign to halt Hill's Sept. 3 execution.

Where is Johnny Asscrack when all of this is going on?

Ludi Boeken, King of the Jews

Poop Ruiz, in the comments section, notes that the comparison between Arnold S. and the golem was the observation of one Ludi Boeken, movie producer. I haven't yet confirmed that Mr. Boeken is the spokeperson for the Jews on matters Schwarznegger, but apparently Suzanne Fields has.

And who is Ludi Boeken? He's a Dutch film producer whose credits consist mainly of French films. He's also the director of "Britney, Baby, One More Time," a film summarized as follows:

Singing transsexuals, car crash mayhem, dancing truck drivers, and a certain midriff-baring teen pop idol are all part of the campy fun in Dutch director Ludi Boeken's fairy tale/road movie/drag extravaganza. Mark Borschardt and Mike Schank, previously seen in American Movie, star as independent filmmakers Dude and Mike. Hired by a Milwaukee TV station to interview none other than Britney Spears, they dream of using their pay for the gig to finance their dream project. Unfortunately, the interview does not go well, with the Dude asking Brit a very inappropriate question that gets the interview terminated before it even begins. Despondent, the intrepid -- and incompetent -- pair repair to a restaurant, where they have the good fortune of running into none other than a Britney look-a-like who just happens to be a drag queen (played by Robert Stephens, aka Angel Benton, whose experiences the movie was based on). Before you can say 'not a girl, not yet a woman,' the Dude decides that all of his problems can be solved by having Stephens pose as a the real singer, and to film the drag diva on a road trip whose footage will reap in big bucks. Britney, Baby, One More Time wascreened [sic] at the 2002 Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. ~ Rebecca Flint, All Movie Guide

Boeken also co-produced a 1997 film starring Steve Gutenberg, a dog and a dolphin, and a 1998 "French-Belgian-Romanian-Dutch comedy-drama, set in Central Europe during the summer of 1941," in which "Yiddish-speaking Jews purchase a train, forge identity papers, and leave town...[p]osing as both prisoners and Nazis...." The latter film has been described as "a comedy fantasy that resembles Hogan's Heroes crossed with Fiddler on the Roof."

It appears Fields has conflated Mr. Boeken with "Jews" in general. (I can't even confirm that Boeken is Jewish, but if he is, Fields should say "a Jew" or "one Jew" has compared Arnie to the golem.) Maybe Fields didn't want to mention that the quote originated in the Moonie Times' competitor, the Washington Post.

And They Call Cruz Bustamante "The Next Governor"

In a recent column, Suzanne Fields claims that Jews call Arnold Schwarzenegger "the golem." When did this happen?

Writes Fields:

Jews, for example, call Arnold the "golem." The golem was a large robot, a mythological figure forged of clay in the Middle Ages. He was programmed to do whatever the rabbi who created him wanted him to do for the benefit of the Jews, but the robot-like invention would occasionally run amok and turn not only on his creator but on the Jews he was created to defend.

A New Blog Which Deserves A Look

MWO has tipped Felonious Elephant, although actually I came across it independently. It looks very promising.

I also ran across Nader Watch logging into Blogger. It's less than a day old, so the jury's still out on this one.

Rectum? -- I Nearly Made 'Im A Best-Selling Author

I don't want to overestimate the influence, or the audience, of this blog, but Dr. Jensen's Guide to Better Bowel Care: A Complete Program for Tissue Cleansing Through Bowel Management has risen nearly 500 spaces on Amazon.com's sales rankings since I first referenced the tome just five days ago. (And the book's been around for 5 years already.)

Roger readers have the cleanest colons in the blogosphere.

Where's How-do?

It would be irresponsible to speculate as to where Howie "Conflict of Interest" Kurtz went when he went "away," or why.

Or, as Nooners would say, "It would be irresponsible not to."

Any thoughts?

Y Donnie Kan't Read

As the Washington Post lurches rightward, the paper's standards also decline. Witness:

Blair Aid Reveals Debate Over Iraq Threat

The only thing saving the Post from becoming the joke of D.C. daily journalism is the Moonie Times.

I'm Not That Interested

The liberal New York Times has a Sunday magazine spread with Britney Spears wearing $14,000 dresses and showing some cleavage and thigh. (Warning: Links contain photographs of Britney Spears' cleavage and thigh.)

As you read this, Brent Bozell and Michelle Malkin are preparing their outrage. No doubt the right will see this celebration of extreme materialism and consumerism as "anti-family" or some such rubbish. At least Britney has found a medium which downplays all of her shortcomings.

On the other hand, Cruz Bustamante never starred in a money-losing film.

And thanks to everyone who reads this blog.

Bossie's Latest Cow Pies

Steven den Beste has a serious challenger for his Bad Op-ed Writing title: David Bossie. Witness the witless Bossie putting crap to paper, in the pages of the Moonie Times:

Even President Bush's postwar efforts, a subject that has pushed shrill, hypocritical vitriol to new heights, has [sic] accomplished much over three short months.

There is nothing new about the U.S. military successfully occupying foreign countries, beginning with the original Axis of Evil � Germany, Japan and Italy, and decades later, Korea, Haiti and Bosnia. But, there were failures as well, most notably Beirut and Somalia, where occupying American soldiers were slaughtered, forcing humiliating U.S. retreats. It's no coincidence both of those incidents occurred in Middle Eastern cultures [sic] dominated by Islamic majorities.

We have won the war and freed the Iraqi people, but now we must put an Arab face on rebuilding Iraq. Only then will our latest mission be successful and return our soldiers from harm's way.

How can one man have such a masterful command of the English language, geography and world politics?

And here's the capper:

And, finally, if the Iraqi public is ever to hear anything approaching truth, the anti-American propaganda that dominates the airwaves and newspapers throughout the Middle East must be drowned out. We can and should provide the means, support and professional expertise for a free and open Iraqi press. TV, newspapers and radio owned and operated by Arabs for Arabs providing accurate news and fair and balanced commentary is essential to Iraq's future, as well as the speedy withdrawal of American military forces.

Yes, Iraq needs a free and open Arab-owned press, one which reports what we decide is accurate, to drown out the current Arab-owned press. And it should be fair and balanced, so that it can be sued by Rupert Murdoch for trademark infringement.

But Can Bill Shout "Shut Up" and "Cut Her Mic" With A Boner?

Mary Carey, 26, a pornographic actress and erotic dancer whose professional name exploits her resemblance to the pop singer Mariah Carey, paused while putting on her frilly costume for a show at the Gold Club in Sacramento to say that, indeed, she was very aware of how serious this all was. That's why she decided to run for governor, for heaven's sake.

....

Some of the more colorful fringe candidates were also getting as much airtime as they could handle. Ms. Carey visited, among others, Bill O'Reilly. "I'm sure he just wanted to have me on so he could make fun of me," she said. "But I don't care. I can hold my own." -- New York Times, August 16

Undoubtedly Bill was holding his own as well.

Death of A Terrorist

Idi Amin, who killed tens of thousands of Ugandans in the 1970s, died yesterday at age 80. Not surprisingly, he was living in Saudi Arabia, friend to terrorists and Bushes alike.